The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I DON’T know whether there is something wrong with me or not. Ever since my boyfriend introduced me to anal sex I prefer it to vaginal sex. I know he wants his fair share of vaginal sex. — Worried.
Reply
Being able to talk about anal sex, as with any other kind of sex, allows us to discuss pleasure, choice, consent and well-being.
But it also can lead to the problem of anal sex being presented as something everyone ought to be doing in order to seem like they are having an exciting and exotic sex life. It is not for everyone. You need to balance your sex life — vaginal sex, anal sex tomorrow — mix it up.
Don’t be selfish. It may be that vaginal sex is now never going to be your thing. But if there are underlying reasons for avoiding it, exploring and addressing those is sensible.
Regardless of whether you want to ever have vaginal sex again, you and your partner clearly have worked out together what feels nice for you, and for him. While he goes out of his way to please you sexually you seem to be reluctant to give him what he wants. He obviously loves anal sex, that is why he introduced you to it but vaginal sex is a must in a relationship.
But talking to your man is very important. Being certain your partner is genuinely fine with anal sex is important, just to be sure he is not going along with it.
Hi Sis Noe
What is the best cleaning method for a healthy, clean and fresh vagina? What can I use? — Worried.
Reply
Contrary to what you have been told, the vagina does not need you to spend money on cleaning and douching products for it to be clean and fresh. And you certainly do not need scented panty liners and perfumes to keep it fresh. Vaginas are largely self-cleansing and you interfering with that process can cause problems because you can irritate the vagina, leading to conditions like thrush. If you do have a problem (such as infection) then spraying or washing may mask these, worsen existing symptoms, or delay you seeking treatment. If you have heard someone or read an article telling you that you need to clean out your vagina, you have my permission to ignore them. However, if you have noticed any discharge that is unusual for you; have unexplained bleeding; genital, stomach or bowel pain; or sex is painful then you should seek medical attention to be sure there is no problem that needs treatment. The best way to care for your vagina is to avoid washing it internally, or using any heavily perfumed products inside you. Herbal medicines to take orally or insert vaginally at best do nothing — but at worst could cause irritation or allergic reactions. So you don’t need them either.
SOULMATES
I am a Christian lady aged 30, I have one child. I’m looking for a partner.
I am looking for a lady in Bulawayo to love, I’m a 26-year-old guy.
I am a 46-year-old woman with two kids. I am HIV-positive and looking for a single, serious man of the same status who is aged 50 to 55 years. He should be from Bulawayo, Lupane and Hwange and must be financially stable.
I am a 37-year-old guy with kids looking for a woman to love aged 26 going up with or without kids.
I am a 24-year-old mother of one from Hwange. I am looking for a loving and humble guy with one or two kids but not more. He must be aged 29 to 34.
I am a single guy aged 35, looking for a single lady aged 20 to 38.
Ngingumama oleminyaka engu-33, ngifuna ubaba oleminyaka engu-35 esingagcinana. Ngilabantwabami abangu-two, ngifuna umuntu ozimiseleyo, lami ngiyazimisela kuye njalo osebenzayo. Mina ngihlala eNyathi but ngiyasebenza. Ngincenda Noe.
I am a lady aged 23 and I am HIV-positive. I need anyone from the age 29 to 32, I need a guy of the same status.
I am a teacher, HIV-positive and 46. I am looking for similar persons aged 48 to 55.
I am a guy aged 24, with a child looking for a lady to have a serious relationship with, must be ready to get settled and she must be 19 going upwards. If anyone is interested please give her my number.
I’m a guy aged 30, I’m looking for a person to date aged between 25-36. I’m a Christian. I am HIV-positive.
I am a 42-year-old HIV-positive woman looking for a Jehovah’s Witness man. I am based in Harare.
I am a woman aged 24 and a mum of one, I work in Beitbridge as a clearing agent. I am looking for a man who is serious even if he is HIV-positive. He should be employed.
I am a lady aged 42 who is HIV-positive, looking for a man of the same status. I have two children. I am in Bulawayo.
I need a single woman aged 40 and I stay in Chiredzi. I am self-employed. I need a good lady.
I am an HIV-positive lady aged 23 looking for man of the same status.
I am a mother of one, based in Bulawayo. I am interested in getting help on how to find a partner.
I am a lady aged 30 and living with HIV. The man should be anywhere near Harare.
I am 31, HIV-positive, independent, single mother who is looking for a life partner, a relationship and settling down. Kindly connect me with a life partner aged 35-40 and ready to settle down. The man must at least have a proper profession.
I am a 36-year-old man based in Bulawayo, looking for a woman who wants to be in a serious relationship.
I am a 28-year-old single lady based in Bulawayo looking for a man.
I am a 43 year-old man looking for a lady to settle down with. She must be 40 and below and HIV-positive and a Seventh Day Adventist.
I am a 46-year-old single mother of two grown up children. I am looking for an HIV- negative man who is aged 50 to 55 who wants a serious relationship.
I am a 38-year-old father of two. I’m looking for a mature woman to settle down with, one who is serious. Please hook me up! I am a professional mechanic.
I am a 34-year-old man looking for a woman aged 40 to 55. I am based in Bulawayo.
Reply
For the numbers of the people above please send a WhatsApp message to the number 0773111328. Short message services (SMS) will not be entertained unless you send airtime. Calls will not be entertained whatsoever.
