Chat with Sis Noe: Are any sexual positions sinful?

20 Aug, 2017 - 02:08 0 Views
Chat with Sis Noe: Are any sexual positions sinful?

The Sunday News

sex_positions

Hi Sis Noe
MY wife is a Christian and this is a problem because she believes some sexual positions are sinful. As a result we only do the missionary position and whenever she is angry she refuses to sleep with me. — Starved.

Reply
Your letter has prompted me to ask whether you and this woman attended premarital counselling. In premarital counselling, everything regarding marriage is discussed. And there are opportunities for questions concerning the marriage, children, sex and financial issues. But even if you did not attend counselling, your wife and you are adults and you should be able to discuss sex and the different positions couples can try, and what you would learn to love and enjoy as a couple. From what you have written about your wife, it is not lack of knowledge that she does not have.

She is behaving as someone who is very foolish, and perhaps does not enjoy sex at all. She seems to be trying to punish you from time to time by withholding sex. Perhaps she does not see it as something to enjoy, but something to endure. The Bible clearly teaches that sex is not only for procreation; sex is also for pleasure. The way your wife is acting shows that she is very silly and perhaps does not want to remain married. The Bible says that a man should enjoy his wife, and you are not enjoying her. It also says that a couple should not punish each other by withholding sex from each other. I have to tell you, dear sir that right now your wife is not behaving like an intelligent woman. But I must encourage you to continue to try your best with her. Perhaps you should make an appointment to see a marriage family counsellor or her pastor and discuss the matters that you are encountering with her.

Hi Sis Noe
I am a 25-year-old woman and I have money issues, I was talking to one of my male friends and he said he would give me $300 just for sex with him and he even showed me the money. I told him I would have to think about it because I have never imagined myself having sex for money and I have a boyfriend. He said that the offer is still on the table and I can come visit him at anytime. — Confused.

Reply
Don’t even think of taking this money from this man. You will never forget that you prostituted yourself for $300. You should stop considering this man your friend. Remember, you know, this man put a price on the sex. He asked you to have sex with him and he will give you the money. You have a boyfriend. I assume he has not assisted you because he is struggling. Don’t take the money from this man. I repeat, drop him as a friend. And he is likely to tell his friends that he offered you money for sex and you accepted it. Your boyfriend might even hear and question you about it. Be on the safe side. Don’t do anything stupid.

Hi Sis Noe
My husband rarely spends time at home and he says it’s because I harass him and talk too much. If he is at home we rarely talk and I just discovered that he loves watching porn, he has many videos in his phone. I told him I am unhappy and he said I have to make myself happy. — Unhappy.

Reply
Your husband has a point. You have to make yourself happy. Happiness is a choice. Evidently, your husband is very happy. He sees you as a woman who is trying to make his life very miserable. You are trying to force him to do what he does not want to do. You now know he likes to watch porn. You need not question him about what he does after looking at them; he is going to lie to you. May I suggest that you try to come up with means to keep you occupied and happy? If you don’t plan time for yourself, life will be very boring. I don’t know why your husband has to be away, but whenever he comes back, both of you should try your best to make arrangement to see a family counsellor. Don’t threaten your husband about divorcing him. Instead, try to work things out.

Hi Sis Noe
I am 17 years old. I am writing to you because I need your advice. I am dating this married man, he is 27 years old. He says he is not happy in his marriage. Before getting into a relationship with him, I told him that he should stick to his wife. But, I don’t know what has got over me. I still date him because I love him so much. He is a very nice person and all that. He explained briefly everything about his wife and himself. He also told me that he was young and naive at the time he got married to her. I have not had sex with him as yet because I don’t want to get myself into trouble, as he is still married. I really like him. What if he gets a divorce from his wife for some reason and wants to marry me? Is it a problem to get married at the age of 18? — Worried.

Reply
I would not encourage you to marry this man at all. You are too naive. I don’t believe that this man is telling you the truth. Many married men, when they want to have intimate relationships with other women, lie about their wives. One of the first things they say is that they are unhappy in their marriages and sometimes that’s a lie. They say that because they want the women to believe that there is a wonderful chance to get a man. Many times after they have had relationships with these women and they want to get rid of them, they return with another story, such as they and their wives are trying to make up and to resolve their problems. So they can’t continue to have affairs. On the other hand, there are some men who just speak the truth.

They let the girls know that they are married and may not be able to see them very often. This man you have written to me about is trying to fill your head with foolishness. He wants to get under your skirt, so he is lying on his wife. You would be wise to keep away from this man. This is not a healthy relationship.

Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend wants us to live together, but I am working in Harare. And when we started dating he told me that he does not have any children.

However, months ago, he told me that there is a woman who is claiming that he is the father of her child. According to him, he did not know the child was his until this woman told him. He says he is going to carry out his responsibility as a father and I support the fact that he wants to do that. I was very upset when I heard about the situation, but I decided to forgive him. I want to see the child but he always finds an excuse. He once said I am rushing things. — Worried.

Reply
I don’t know why this man is lying. If both of you are lovers, but he has a child with another woman and is supporting his child, he should not be afraid to let you know the child. Perhaps there are other things that are preventing him from doing so. You suspect that this man is hiding something from you. You are not living in the same city and perhaps that is what is causing some problems, but always remember that when people love each other, they make time for each other.

Hi Sis Noe
We are always fighting over some stupid things like my ex and other women, because she feels insecure about herself. I love her, but I really don’t know how we will work things out in the long run. The relationship is so bad, she wants to pick my friends and tell me what to do, but I can’t do the same with her. I would love to get your feedback on this. — Worried.

Reply
You say that she is insecure; I say she is immature. You didn’t give her age, but it is time for you to tell her that you are fed up of the arguments and that you will walk away unless she is willing to change. Don’t waste your time entertaining her if she keeps this up.

Hi Sis Noe
I am a woman aged 22 and I have a male friend aged 26. He is a kombi driver and I just discovered that he is sleeping with his boss’s wife who is 50 years old. Don’t you think that he is too young to be involved with this woman? We were best friends but since I told him to leave that woman, he hardly talks to me. What advice can you give me to give to him? — Worried.

Reply
Am I wrong to assume that this man and you were not just social friends? Am I wrong in believing that both of you were very close and that you loved him? I believe that what you are trying to say is that this young man has foolishly dumped you for another man’s wife. He is of course living dangerously, because if he is caught by this man having sex or whatever, he might lose his life. I know that many older women entice younger men to go to bed with them and these young men are rather excited, but they are playing with fire. This young man should not be having sex with this woman.

And if indeed he is really doing so, he should keep his mouth shut, because this might get around to his boss, and his boss might set a trap for him.

Share This:

Survey


We value your opinion! Take a moment to complete our survey

This will close in 20 seconds