Chat with Sis Noe: Find a soulmate here!

26 Jun, 2016 - 00:06 0 Views
Chat with Sis Noe: Find a soulmate here!

The Sunday News

morning after pill
Hi Sis Noe
I AM stressed and afraid, my mother found my morning after pills in my bedroom. She has not said anything to me, but she is moody and she is not talking to me like she used to. Help, I don’t know what to do. — Worried.

Reply
Until she confronts you about the pills there is nothing you can do. However, my worry is not that your mother found your morning-after pills; my worry is that you choose them over condoms. Morning-after pills only prevent pregnancy — they do not protect you from HIV and other STIs. I advise you to go get tested and to take up condoms. As for your mother, let her say something first before you volunteer information. If you are an adult there is no need to worry, if you are still a teenager then it’s something else.

Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend and I are always fighting and it hurts me a lot. My question is whether there is love in a relationship where people fight. — Concerned.

Reply
No relationship is conflict-free. The important thing is not whether you disagree, but how you disagree. Sometimes couples argue a lot because they have simply not developed simple, respectful ways of talking and listening. Sometimes they want to persuade the other person to change his/her opinion, behaviour, or mind. On the other hand, in many cases, a relationship that has formed and endured despite constant disagreement and argument is a relationship that is perhaps not based on love between two independent adults, but rather between two co-dependent people, stuck in a challenging dynamic. However, if you are a childless couple and your relationship is fraught with not being able to get along, and there is no solution whatsoever, then it might be wisest for you two to move on and see if you can each find partners with whom you are more compatible. Remember, it is important, when it comes to relationships, to use your head, as well as listen to your heart. A healthy relationship needs to make you feel good, not stressed or unhappy.

Hi Sis Noe
I am in love with a white woman but my parents don’t approve of our relationship, they want me to end the relationship. I told them that they should get to know her and not judge her on skin colour but they are not interested in what I say. What can I do? — Worried.

Reply
Unfortunately, there are still many people who judge others based on their skin colour, religion, class, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, or race, not to mention lots of other characteristics. Sometimes, even people who are generally open-minded behave in judgmental ways when they are faced with issues of diversity in their own family. This can certainly be frustrating, and, in fact, hurtful when the judgment is directed towards you and someone you care about. Before you have a serious talk with your parents, you need to discuss your own concerns about being in an inter-racial relationship. It’s possible that you are sensing negativity coming from other people because you have some level of discomfort yourself. If you do decide to talk with your parents, pick a private place and a time when you are all feeling calm.

Approaching the subject right after they have made a heated comment might lead you to respond in an angry, defensive way.

Remember to clearly let them know how their opinions and comments make you feel. If your parents persist, it might help to find out why they have the notions they do. Exploring their past experiences with people from backgrounds different from theirs could help; they will have a chance to share their ideas, and you will gain insight into their motivations. In the end, though, what really matters is how you feel about your woman, and how she feels about you. If your parents and others around you stubbornly stick to their misplaced values, they are missing out on sharing in your life and the richness of your relationship. You and your woman will have to decide whether or not you can ignore the negative reactions and focus instead on finding friends and family who will support you.

Hi Sis Noe
I am going to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time when she returns from South Africa in a week’s time. The problem is that she doesn’t want me to use condoms. She says she wants to really feel me. I am scared because I do not want a baby and I do not know her sexual health. — Help.

Reply
It’s not clear how much you both have talked about this, but it’s a great idea to talk, express yourself, and listen. You can explain how you feel about unprotected sex and why this is important to you, being honest and clear. Condoms can protect you and your girlfriend from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If she insists on unprotected sex then you should go get tested before you have sex. She should also agree to use a contraceptive method that will prevent her from getting pregnant. I am a suspicious person by nature — have you asked yourself why she is really determined to have unprotected sex? Chances are that someone knocked her up in South Africa and she wants you to think you are the baby’s father. My point is that you should tread carefully.

Hi Sis Noe
I woke up to hear my wife moaning and calling out a man’s name in her sleep. I can tell that it was a sex dream and she also told him in her sleep that he was a better lover than me. I am confused and angry, I don’t know what to do. I have asked her about her dream but she says she has no idea what I am talking about. — Confused.

Reply
The stuff that dreams are made of is rarely a carbon copy of what takes place in our waking lives. Just think about your very own dreams: are all those who star in them actual people with whom you interact with in real life? Are all the places you travel to in your sleep the exact places you have been to before? If your answer is “yes” to these questions, then you must have one interesting existence. Since our dreams are a giant mix of fragments of our memories and imagination, this man in your wife’s dream could have been nothing but a fantasy. If you continue to feel uneasy about her sleep talk, despite your wife’s claim of ignorance about him, you might ask yourself why this one-time name dropping is making you feel uncomfortable or insecure in your relationship. Have you questioned your wife’s honesty about other things? Do you get enough reassurance from her that she, indeed, loves and is committed to you? If the answer is no then stop worrying. Please go back to counting sheep not losing sleep.

FIND A SOULMATE
I am a 31-year-old young man based in Bulawayo, HIV-negative and have a good job. I am looking for a lady aged between 35 and 45 years. I am tired of dating younger women but most of the time they are not mature enough hence I am now looking for a mature relationship. The person should be also based in Bulawayo.

I am a 45-year-old woman with one child. I am based in Bulawayo and I am searching for a man to have a serious relationship with.

I am a handsome 37-year-old man who is HIV- positive. I am employed in the civil service and I am a businessman. I am seeking a beautiful lady who is business-minded in Bulawayo or Plumtree.

I am lady aged 36, and I have two kids, looking for a partner aged 40-55. He should be a Christian who goes to Seventh Day Adventist Church.

I’m looking for a lady who wants to settle down. She must be 35 to 45. I’m a single father of two. I don’t mind if she has children of her own.

I’m a lady aged 31 and HIV-positive; I have two kids. I need a guy who’s interested in me who wants to settle down.

I am a young man aged 35. I live in Mashonaland Central, but I am working in Matabeleland province. I am looking for a Johane Masowe Apostolic woman of 30-33 years with one kid. I need someone who is serious and wants to settle down.

I am a man aged 36 looking for a single Adventist lady aged between 28-33 who is ready to settle down and has no children.

I’m a 28-year-old lady looking for a man or partner aged 43 and above. I’m based in Filabusi.

I am a lady, 41years old, widow looking for a man aged 45 to 50 to start a relationship.

I am gentleman aged 28 looking for a serious beautiful lady who is a Christian preferably from Harare.

I am a 33-year-old woman looking for a man to have a serious relationship with in Bulawayo and Matabeleland. I work outside Bulawayo but Bulawayo is my home.

I am a Christian guy aged 26 looking for a Christian girl aged 18 to 20 to marry. She must be HIV-negative.

I am a 33-year-old widow and single mother of two. I am so lonely; please help me find a good guy who has his kids. I live in Victoria Falls.

I am a 34-year-old beautiful woman with two kids and I am based in Zvishavane. I am looking for a man to settle down with. I don’t mind where he is based.

I’m a 26-year-old lady. I’m HIV-negative and I’m from Bulawayo. I’m looking for a man aged 27-30 with the same status in Bulawayo or Gweru.

I’m a 55-year-old woman HIV negative and I live in Bulawayo. I am looking for a 55-65-year-old man to have a relationship with.

I am a lady aged 32 looking for a man aged 35 to 50 who wants to have a serious relationship. I want a man who wants to settle down. I am HIV-negative.

Reply
For the numbers of the above people, send a WHATSAPP message to the number 0773111328. If you are going to send an SMS it should be accompanied with airtime. DO NOT CALL. CALLS WILL NOT BE ENTERTAINED.

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