The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I HAVE a problem with my periods. I sometimes miss them but continue the next month. — Worried.
Reply
Missing a menstrual period is a lot more common than most people realise. This is often called amenorrhea, which is the technical word for absence of menstrual periods. In women who are not pregnant, amenorrhea is usually due to a hormonal imbalance. While these hormonal imbalances are not usually serious, there are some long-term health risks that can be avoided with treatment. Understand that missing a period is neither a disease nor a sure sign that you’re pregnant.
Sometimes missing a period is perfectly normal and doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Usually if the period is late and the woman is not pregnant, the cause is hormonal. This means that she is not ovulating regularly for some reason. Missed periods are often caused by undergoing a lot of stress. Stress can upset the normal hormonal balance in your body, causing your period to come late, or skip for one month.
Some other characteristic causes of missed periods include undergoing any major changes in your life, such as moving, starting a new job, or changed eating or exercise habits. Loss of significant amount of weight can also cause you to miss a menstrual period. If you find that this condition persists over a few months, you should make an appointment with a doctor.
If you miss more than three cycles or have any symptoms that are worrying you, you should see your doctor to check for the cause of the problem. Usually it does not turn out to be serious and may resolve on its own. But it is advisable to invest in your health before it gets out of control. The associated hormonal imbalances caused by missed periods may take a toll on your health in the long run. Avoid that by getting in control of your cycles.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 19 years and my boyfriend wants to marry me, the problem is that he always beats me up when he is drunk. I love him but I don’t know what to do. — Help.
Reply
As you and many others know, abusive relationships can be confusing and complex because they often have lots of positive aspects along with the hurtful and horrible ones. But if there is a get-away-card in all of this, it is when he beats you. Honestly, you should break up with him before it gets more complicated. If he is already abusive, he is only going to get worse as time goes on. Marriage will only make things worse, not better. My advice to you is run like hell and don’t look back. You need to get out now and get away.
A man who has little control or feels he is entitled to strike a woman is not a real man but a danger to you. It will hurt to break up with him because you love him so much, but it’s for the best. In a way I think you know that you should leave him otherwise you were not going to seek my help. If you argue that you love him, and he loves you, you need to ask yourself, really? Would you hit somebody you love, and then justify it? Regardless of whether he thinks it was justified, you know it was wrong. In no instance, does a man ever have the right to hit a woman. Nor does a woman have the right to hit a man for that matter.
I know people say follow your heart, but your brain is what sends signals to you heart. So think first of what is right and your heart will follow.
Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend and I are always fighting and it hurts me a lot. My question is whether there is love in a relationship where people fight. — Concerned.
Reply
No relationship is conflict-free. The important thing is not whether you disagree, but how you disagree. Sometimes couples argue a lot because they have simply not developed simple, respectful ways of talking and listening. Sometimes they want to persuade the other person to change his/her opinion, behaviour, or mind. On the other hand, in many cases, a relationship that has formed and endured despite constant disagreement and argument is a relationship that is perhaps not based on love between two independent adults, but rather between two co-dependent people, stuck in a challenging dynamic. However, if you are a childless couple and your relationship is fraught with not being able to get along, and there is no solution whatsoever, then it might be wisest for you two to move on and see if you can each find partners with whom you are more compatible. Remember, it is important, when it comes to relationships, to use your head, as well as listen to your heart. A healthy relationship needs to make you feel good, not stressed or unhappy.
Hi Sis Noe
My problem is that I don’t climax during sex. I have had five sexual relationships but I have never had an orgasm. It’s only when I am sexting that I climax or when I watch porn and masturbate. I don’t know, is it me or my boyfriends were not good in bed? — Help.
Reply
Many women are not orgasmic on penetration alone but I think your problem is rather more complex. On a positive note, as you can climax on your own then when you are in the right relationship it should also be possible. You say you have had five sexual relationships. It sounds as if you are separating sex from love. What you need is a loving relationship with a man who you also find sexually attractive. If there was love and genuine trust between you, then you could really relax and enjoy making love.You could try lovemaking positions where, as well as penetration, he is able to caress the clitoris and also where you are relaxed enough to show him how you are able to be orgasmic.
