Chat with Sis Noe…Losing weight killed my sex life

30 Sep, 2018 - 00:09 0 Views
Chat with Sis Noe…Losing weight killed my sex life

The Sunday News

couple 6

Hi Sis Noe
MY boyfriend’s parents caught us having sex in the sitting room. Now I think his mother hates me and his father stares and smiles at me a lot.  I am now embarrassed and I dread going to see him at home. Should I apologise to them? — Embarrassed.

Reply
That must have been embarrassing and I am sure you are failing to even have a conversation with them. Obviously you feel you need to clear the air so apologise to his parents for acting inappropriately and embarrassing them. Explain it was never your intention to shock them and that you know you let yourself down in their home, which was inexcusable. Your boyfriend may choose to brush it aside, but you must follow your conscience to earn mutual respect with his parents.

Hi Sis Noe
For six months I have been visiting a man for hair dressing but what actually happens is we just have sex. I honestly don’t know how it all started, but I am still paying him for lessons that rarely happen. I am a married woman and I feel guilty and terrible but I am always looking forward to seeing him.  — Worried.

Reply
Clearly the sexual experience you enjoy with your hair dressing teacher is totally different from anything you encounter at home. I suspect, because it’s so illicit and naughty, it’s strangely addictive, but you can’t continue to deceive your unsuspecting husband in this way. Maybe your hair dressing teacher is mildly hypnotic, but sex is sex and not only are you cheating, but you are effectively paying another man for passion. He is a sex worker and you are his client. I urge you to sever all ties, have a sexual health check and concentrate on your marriage. Whether you tell your husband the truth is between you and your conscience but it won’t serve any purpose.

Hi Sis Noe
I left my husband because the sex was poor and I wanted to have excitement in my life. I have had sex a lot with different men but I can’t find Mr Right. I am now thinking I made the biggest mistake of my life by divorcing. My ex-husband remarried and he is happy and I am miserable. Is my demand for good sex too much? — Worried.

Reply
Of course you should have standards, but sexual relationships have to be worked at. You can’t sleep with a person and decide he is a washout based on one or two encounters. Couples need to communicate what it is they like and what turns them on. Stop looking backwards and concentrate on building love and friendship with the next person you are attracted to. Keep sex off the menu until you both feel a real connection. Maybe you fail to find Mr Right because these men think you are just after sex.

Hi Sis Noe
I recently discovered that there is a nearby man who chats and flirts a lot with my wife. I don’t want to seem possessive and jealous but I have seen them talking and I don’t like the way he talks and looks at her. He even comes home looking for her and claims its just business. — Jealous.

Reply
You should speak up. Talk to your wife to one side and explain that you can’t go on with things the way they are. She may not realise it, but this man oversteps the mark every time he gets cosy with her and flatters her — and it’s really beginning to get on your nerves. You are not being silly or overly sensitive, but you have seen him play the lothario and you don’t like it. It feels as if he is attempting to challenge you. No, you are not perfect, but you would not act this way with his wife. Ask her to see things from your point of view. Maybe it would be better for all concerned if you spoke out and changed this routine before feelings boil over.

Hi Sis Noe
Losing weight has completely killed our sex life, as my body is covered in rolls of loose skin. I look fine in clothes but horrible naked. My sexual confidence is at rock bottom, as I’m too ashamed to let my partner see me in the flesh or touch me. Why did I ever bother to slim? — Stressed.

Reply
You slimmed for all the right reasons, as you were worried about your health. I can understand you feel unattractive now, but every day spent fretting is a day wasted. If your partner is unconcerned about your folds, surely that is good enough for now? Keep talking to him. If you allow him to get close to you again, you will feel energised, cherished and loved. Sex is a fantastic confidence booster, so never say never. I also suggest you hit the gym and get your skin toned.

Hi Sis Noe
I recently discovered that my boyfriend of five years has been married for close to 10 years. He met my parents and knows all my friends. I have even met his relatives and friends. I love him so much but I am heart-broken. I feel cheated but at the same time I believe what we had was real. — Cheated.

Reply
You cannot blame yourself. If your ex-partner was a practiced liar, taking great care to cover his tracks and deceive you, how were you supposed to second-guess he had a secret life? It’s possible he got a huge kick out of juggling two women, and it made him feel powerful and desirable. But that’s not relevant now. The most important thing is to pick yourself up from this massive disappointment and bounce back. Forget about any form of revenge or attempting to engage with his wife or children — and certainly don’t have anything more to do with him. Rely on trusted friends to get you through this tricky time and you will emerge stronger and wiser.

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