The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I AM 22 years old and my boyfriend is 30. I love him very much. He makes me happy but we don’t really see each other often because of some circumstances. He says he is not cheating and I believe him at times, but sometimes he gives me reasons to doubt him. I am a very insecure and jealous girlfriend. He recently got a job and I am very happy for him but inside I am not because I feel he is going to meet some other girl out there. — Uncomfortable.
Reply
If you cannot trust this man the relationship will not work. You have to learn to grow up. Trust, respect and communication are ingredients for a happy relationship. If a couple does not trust each other or respect each other and they don’t communicate the relationship is bound to fail. You say this man has given you reasons not to trust him but you didn’t say what these reasons are.
It seems to me that you are immature. You cannot do what so many women try to do and that is to watch their men. And some foolish men try to watch their women, but if a person wants to cheat you could even hire a private detective, it won’t help you. Some women cheat in the kitchen, in the bathroom and in the office to name a few places. If this man loves you, you need not worry. You are afraid that he might see another girl now that he has got a new job. Don’t be silly. Girls would always be around.
He will see them and they will see him. Men will always be around. You will see them and they will see you, but that does not mean that a relationship will develop between this man and the girls or between you and the other guys, so stop behaving like a spoilt child who wants her mother for herself.
Hi Sis Noe
HOW long after having sex do I have to take the morning after pill? — Worried.
Reply
Also known as emergency contraception (EC), the morning after pill contains a high dose of hormones that help to prevent pregnancy soon after sex. Research suggests that while it’s recommended that EC is taken within 72 hours, it’s moderately effective up to 120 hours, dependent on the formula that’s used. Emergency contraception is often referred to as the “morning after pill,” but the sun doesn’t have to come up for it to be taken. In fact, the general consensus is that for most formulations, the sooner it’s taken, the more effective it is. Currently, there are some options on the market, both over-the-counter and by prescription, to protect against unintended pregnancy for those that had contraceptive method fail or had unprotected sex.
Hi Sis Noe
I had genital warts a year ago but I got treated and I no longer have it. I was wondering should I tell my future sexual partner or partners that I once had it. I told my ex about it and we had sex using a condom but our relationship did not last. — Worried.
Reply
You pose an interesting and complicated question. While you are right that warts infection may be treated or clear on its own, it’s hard to know for sure if it’s truly gone. Using a condom during sex can definitely reduce the risk of passing warts to your partner(s), but it’s not guaranteed. For this reason, honesty is always important in any type of sexual relationship.
Honest communication is crucial in relationships, even casual ones, and talking about warts could reduce the stigma surrounding this extremely common sexually transmitted infection (STI). Along the same lines, opening up a discussion about your sexual health history may prompt your partner to do the same. Talking with your partner(s) could also be a learning opportunity — for example, maybe he doesn’t know about the vaccines Gardasil and Cervarix which can protect both men and women against several HPV strains.
Also, having an open conversation might end up being a stress reliever for your partner(s) — nearly all sexually active adults have had at least one type of HPV at some point in their lives.
Hi Sis Noe
I love my husband but I am not sure if he loves me, simply because he does not care about my emotional and sexual needs. The sex we have satisfies him, not me. I have told him this but nothing has changed. — Help.
Reply
Sadly, it sounds as though your husband has become an increasingly selfish and uninterested lover. It is hard to imagine how your sex life has made you feel, given that your husband does not know what you enjoy or what gives you pleasure. Understanding this about your partner is an essential part of any loving relationship — and it should always work both ways. If a couple do not explore what each enjoys, then one or both tend to lose interest in their sexual relationship and are often tempted to look elsewhere.
I know this is tough, but I think you need to talk to your husband and ask him if he still loves you and whether he truly wants this marriage to work or is just staying for the children or financial reasons. If you both want to stay in the marriage, talk about why you feel you are drifting apart and discuss what changes you both wish to see in your relationship — including your sex life. I hope that once you feel closer to one another your sex life will improve. Alternatively, if he has fallen out of love then perhaps he is no longer the man for you.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 19 and he is 26. My problem is that when I have sex with my boyfriend I start bleeding and it goes on for days. Please help me, I am worried. — Worried.
Reply
If you bleed after sex and you are not on your period see a doctor. If you have abnormal bleeding or spotting between periods then that could be a symptom of an STI and needs to be looked at. Although it is scary to think about, ignoring the problem could make things a lot worse. Bleeding after sex with your partner could be caused by a number of reasons ranging from a side effect of the contraception pill if you are on one to a natural virus known as HPV which causes cervical cancer. Any abnormal bleeding must be looked at. See a doctor.
