Devastating power of lies

10 Dec, 2017 - 01:12 0 Views
Devastating power of lies

The Sunday News

Dishonest Liar

Nhlalwenhle Ncube

LYING is a unique art of manipulation, so if a person is a manipulator and gets caught lying, they are most likely to keep running on that lane, even faster. It becomes habitual, sort of a sixth sense. Such individuals can tell more lies to cover up and get to the extent of living a fake life which is intertwined in a web of deceit!!

Just imagine being in a relationship with such a person who tells lies throughout. It is hurting because no one wants to be lied to, worse when it becomes more of a habit. Truth be told, lying to a partner kills intimacy and makes trust impossible. A relationship with no trust and intimacy is a DEAD one!

The only thing more important than love in a relationship is trust. Trust is the fertile soil love grows on. If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship.

When you discover that your partner is a habitual liar, trust automatically dies. As much as you will want to forgive him/her, the way you interact will never be the same. Trust, like a vase once it’s broken, even the most skilled craftsman, in a bid to restore it can’t conceal fracture lines, in general it becomes impossible to restore it to its originality.

Trust is a special form of bond, it is also a tenuous one, easily broken, if one of the partners constantly lies. When we talk of lying, we are not including innocent white lies. I am referring to untruths that affect a relationship to the point where trust becomes simply a meaningless word the relationship is good as dead. Love and trust are inseparable.

There is nothing as devastating as being in a relationship with a habitual liar, it becomes pathological. I know most people especially women put up with various quirks in their partners simply to keep the relationship alive, but a person who lies a lot is a turn-off pushing one to the edge.

One of the painful parts you find yourself in after finding out that your partner has been lying is the self-blame for believing the lie. In reality, when people are in a relationship they are more likely to judge their partners as truthful and fail to detect deception. Therefore one should always be alert, because a serial liar can destroy you.

Being in a relationship with somebody who lies is tough. It’s not that you don’t love them or care about them; it’s just that you will not connect. If you check, there are some couples who do not trust each other even with small things, because one of them would have lied a lot. You find that there are people who get to a point where they prefer not to discuss anything with their partners because they do not find any help in doing so, but being hurt with lies.

The pain of lies is usually felt most by the person at the receiving end because the day she/he discovers that, they feel disrespected and unimportant.

This can drive one to be sad and lonely because when you were busy giving someone part of your heart, they held theirs back and hurt you with lies. Of course most people always say they told a lie just to get out of a sticky situation, but no matter what, lies hurt. By telling a loved one a lie, they feel betrayed and it is that feeling of betrayal that can lead to a breakdown.

Love doesn’t hurt but lies do; and the moment you start telling lies, it is no longer love. It builds a huge wall of insecurity. Yes, lies breed a different form of insecurity, far filled with thriving on speculation than jealousy. Every relationship is built on mutual trust, both parties must be able to trust each other. Though some might argue that trust can always be regained, it is not as simple as it sounds as the hurt partner will have so many mental blocks up that it might be difficult to regain trust, resulting in a breakdown.

The minute you discover that your partner has lied before, stop trying to justify his/her lies because in the end it will hurt you most. Remember, no one tells just one lie. They tend to become addictive especially if they have gotten away with a few already. There is a tendency to want to lie every time you find yourself in a jam because for you telling a lie is easier than telling the truth. And the problem arises when you tell too many lies as these lies may become difficult to contain. Simply put, one lie equals more lies and not only that, lies grow over time as it becomes harder and harder for you to keep your story straight.

Having said all this about lies, my point is that there are people who have got a tendency of lying and they reduce their partners to tinder garden aspirants by simply one flick of the tongue. Despite visibly being cornered to confess, pathological liars always find excuses for themselves.

Unfortunately for most tolerant partners it becomes deadly because it’s more like taking a long rope to hang yourself and the day you get to a point of saying it’s enough, it will be more hurtful, making it even harder to trust any other person.

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