Had I known

IT was going to be a day to remember, even the atmosphere which was jovial evidenced this although to a certain extent foreboding. How could I forget even just a second that elapsed? Finally, I was going to find my missing rib. Initially, there was Priscilla who succumbed to xenophobia in South Africa. Secondly there was Fiona who turned out to be my cousin. This time around, I prayed and believed Blessing was the one.

The very second I met her, I believed she would be that wife to fulfil Proverbs 19:14. Whenever she turned up, joy got the better of me. My heart would just pound. The atmosphere automatically turned out to be jovial. I would forget all my problems and let out a smile which would probably win me a state lottery. I would forget that I am still on earth.

She was, but a blessing to have. Browsing in the books for answers, I never came across the reason why I was this lucky to know her. She proved that after all, women don’t divide life, multiply problems, add enemies and subtract money. I considered her as that bird which was worth two both in hand and forest.

I wondered what kept her close by given that I was the proper definition of poverty. She deserved better guys out there rather than me. Whenever people paid me a visit, they obviously went on empty stomachs. My two siblings were popular with debt collectors. In the list of non-payment of fees, they were first. I sacrificed to pay their fees with all my salary so that they would have a better life. One of my dreams was to see them living a life totally different from mine. At least they wouldn’t let something go down the throat twice or once a day. With this bit of my miserable life, someone out there was going to be for me, just not Blessing.

She was the last born in a family of three beautiful and successful girls. They grew up in a life of plenty, a life that was divorced from the poverty and squalor that defined mine. They were quite identical and one would assume that they were mirror images of each other coming to life. Birds of the same feather ought to flock together, but mysteriously, we got along very well despite financial differences. Some weeks before 14 February, I would disappear and only resurface in March. Surely no amount of money from my wallet would satisfy her.

What I liked about her was that she was loving, humble and kind. All the time, she was just herself. At times, she would state that pretending to be someone else is a waste of the privilege of being yourself. Whenever I was down, she was there to lift me up. As tears ran down my cheeks, she would wipe them away. “Situation is not destiny,” she would say, comforting me that though I was poor on a certain day, it didn’t mean I was going to be poor the following day.

For how long were we going to be friends? A new leaf had to be turned over. Surely, we don’t remain young forever, neither do we cry forever nor fail forever. Reluctantly, expecting a NO, I just tried my luck. I simply wanted to determine where to place her in life.
Out of the blue, she asked, “What took you so long?”

Perplexed, I couldn’t believe my ears. I was taken aback and left breathless. I didn’t bother to ask the second time, what if the answer would change. We, therefore, prepared to wed and of course, most of the expenses headed to her. A new chapter in the book of life was going to be opened.
Days passed and eventually the day came for people to head to Holiday Inn as I became the “happiest” man on earth.

The pastor turned up and I believed it was all happening. We then got on our feet as the most beautiful person of the day, but to me of all times, finally popped in. People let out sets of fine teeth, it was all joy. Even their faces were written joy all over. I glued my eyes on her as she walked down the aisle. I wondered how lucky I was to be the happiest man. I pinched myself and pain proved that I was not dreaming.

The programme went as planned and we exchanged our vows. As I was about to do what people obviously come to see at weddings, I was stopped and only to be told by my mother what took me aback. This caused Blessing to wake up the following morning still as Miss Gavaza rather than Mrs Townsend.

She took us back to the old days when she divorced Joseph Gavaza and so abandoned Blessing. She really did not want to, but had to. The situation was just beyond her control. How could a man thoroughly beat a woman morning, evening and night? Marriage was and will never be meant for that. Truly, fighting is not a solution, but how could Joseph understand after being brought up under an abusive father? . . . Eventually she tied the knot with Eric Townsend who wasn’t just a man but a gentleman. He never said it, but people saw it. The only painful part was that he departed to Heaven saving his three sons from drowning in Lake Kariba, yet being ignorant about the crocodile which turned out to have a banquet. After that very moment, poverty came into my life.

I just had to let my half-sister go. All energy was drained. Even the ATP which remained evaporated. I cried so much that I nearly flooded the whole city. I wondered and still wonder, of all the planets why earth, of all continents why Africa, of all countries why Zimbabwe, of all cities why Bulawayo and above all, of all people why me? I only ended at the peak of my voice, generating a semi earthquake, with the words “Had I known.”