Hands-off your sibling’s spouse

by Sunday News Online | Sunday, Oct 8, 2017 | 480 views


Nhlalwenhle Ncube

THERE has always been an uncomfortable truth about family politics being the ugliest and pettiest in the world. Despite blood being applauded for being thicker than water, it is in that thickness where sibling jealousness comfortably resides. The most common disturbing conflicts being sexual and matters of the heart.

Tabloid papers in their frenzied reportage have carried stories of brothers or sisters snatching each other’s lovers and clashing. In that dreaded atmosphere, many people joke with their siblings’ spouse in a flirting “innocent’’ manner. But hold on, even though African culture has taught us to flirt with siblings’ spouses, one should be careful not to cross the line. If you fail to have limits with the way you ‘‘play’’ with your sister or brother-in-law, then definitely it will ruin your relationship with your sister or brother.

To be precise, how many times have you looked at your siblings’ wife or husband and wished you could have a short trip with him or her under the sheets? It’s human nature, I wouldn’t blame you, but morally that is disgusting. Human nature has it that whatever your brother or sister fancies, there are high chances you will fall for it as well. I just have to remind you to have your hands off your siblings’ spouses.

I know someone at the back of his/her mind is saying but culturally my wife’s young sister or husband’s young brother is as good as my husband or wife. If you want to see how unacceptable that is, try to share with your partner your fantasies and see what happens. A lot of marriages have broken up because of one party cheating with her/his partner’s sibling. If you go deep, it all starts as the so-called games, but you cannot just play with adult’s feelings and always manage to control the blood flow.

One step will lead to another and one day you will lose it and find yourself waking up next to each other asking where your underwear is. It is so sad because both of you would have betrayed someone’s trust. The truth is that it is rare for one to ever suspect that her/his sibling can go that far and have a sexual relationship with her spouse, but it happens. Such things can happen right under your nose and you never get to know until the day you catch them pants down or when they decide to come clean about it.

I have heard of cases where some people narrate how it all began for them to have sexual relationships with their sibling’s spouses. For women, most of them will tell you that usbali used to buy me this and that and we became very close. Without realising, she slowly developed a soft spot for him and dreamt of having a partner like him. Just because the young sister was already in her own world when the man made his first move, she couldn’t resist as it was a dream come true. Of course, at the back of her mind she was saying I will do it once, but unfortunately there was a second, third time and they eventually lost count. They then become emotionally attached and in love. It is when people reach the point of no return and hurt their own sisters.

With matters of the heart, once you reach the point of no return, it is when you become prepared for anything. For some, it is when a man is made to choose. Really? It is one of the highest levels of betrayal as we all know no woman will ever want to share her man with baby sis. It is just out of this world having your own sister as the second wife. This is the time when sisters become enemies, dividing the family. Remember, you will never be forgiven for such a ‘‘crime’’ so it is better to stay away from your sister’s husband.

It is against such a background that you find some women not comfortable staying with their sisters because they fear for the worst. As we know, men will always be men and whoever likened them to dogs was on point because most times their behaviour is not understandable. One day your dog can bite you, the same with men so women should always be in control and never get carried away. All I know is that once you snatch your sister’s husband, never expect her to forgive you as you will be enemies for life and that sour relationship will cascade to your children. Why sacrifice your good relations with many people because of one person, believe me it is not worth it.

There are a lot of men out there, get your own and enjoy life rather than getting a “second hand” and believe me, you will never have peace in your life if you choose that route.

Then there is a classic group of women who fall in love with obabomncane/bamnini. Of course, these ones are always sweet, but women should never use this as an excuse. Even if you have problems with your husband, it does not mean that you should fix him by sleeping with his baby brother. Sadly, he will never marry you and you will have the walk of shame as you are returned to your parents’ home because of infidelity. It is sad as at that time no one will entertain your stories when trying to justify your actions, but you will be called a “prostitute”. If you want to break your man’s heart, better do it with someone else, not his own brother.

On the other hand, men are not at all innocent on this and not always victims as they always put it after being caught on the wrong side. It is funny that men always have the same story that they were seduced whenever they are caught. Really, are women all that powerful? All I know is that a real man will resist the temptation and this thing of acting as the “innocent” one who was taken advantage of is all lies as you would have stripped and taken part in the adult’s game. Just learn to keep your eyes off your wife’s sisters. The secret is just to take them as your own sisters and that way you will not have dirty thoughts.

I know for some men who end having relations with their wife’s sisters, they would have maybe supported them by paying their fees and so on, but remember she does not owe you. You never had an agreement that one day she will do you sexual favours, so if that is what is in your mind, then better stop helping her at all. In such a situation, you would have hurt two people as to the baby sis it will be more of sexual harassment and you would have stabbed your wife in the heart.

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