Highway to success: Insight into traditional courtship — Less haste, for they stumble that run fast

11 Nov, 2018 - 00:11 0 Views

The Sunday News

Charles, Dube
Harvest of Thorns Classic:  A play by Shimmer Chinodya:

WE pick up our story from where we left last week enjoying Clopas’ classic love letters written to Shamiso. He is determined to win Shamiso’s hand in marriage as demonstrated by the letters he writes to her in quick succession. He wants Shamiso to reply to his letters immediately. He is impatient as he does not realise that Shamiso needs to take in what he says and make a wise decision. Shamiso’s sister and her husband courted for a year before marriage.

Clopas seems to forget traditional expectations. A well-groomed young woman would not just accept a marriage proposal promptly like that. It was not recommended for a woman to just say “yes” to every proposal offered to her. We get a feel of this from Shamiso’s sister after reading Clopas’ first letter. She says: “What a queer man! Saying that in the very first letter!” It is uncultured for him to talk of marriage at the onset.

When Shamiso expresses confusion over how she should respond to Clopas’ proposal, her sister settles her emotions telling her to wait before writing to him. She knows that writing to him early and accepting his proposal would give a wrong impression of her younger sister — the easy come, easy go type of woman, a bad trait of a woman who is unfit for marriage. A woman of good standing would not want to be taken lightly, hence Shamiso’s sister wants to protect her sister’s image.

Clopas might take Shamiso as a woman of loose morals and play around with her. Letters would arrive during the day from the post office. In cases where there were no fences and letter boxes, letters were placed under the doors. This is where Clopas used to check for responses from Shamiso, but, to his disappointment, he found no joy all the time. Clopas pours his heart out for his love for Shamiso. He pleads with her to write to him. Ignoring his use of Shonglish (a mixture of Shona and English) one can feel the emotions Clopas goes through expressing his deep love for Shamiso.

I believe I would not be wrong to say he is almost in tears when he begs Shamiso to write a letter to him. He claims that his life depended on her and that he cannot even sleep thinking of her. Clopas says the feelings he has for Shamiso are now affecting his work. His workmates are aware that he is not himself these days and are worried he might not be well.  Clopas is troubled in his heart. He says his heart is swelling and painful when he thinks of Shamiso.

He has worse fears that he might lose his job. He is no longer performing well in his job and is afraid his boss (Bass) might fire him for inefficiency. Of late his boss has a tendency of scolding him. Clopas is so desperate for Shamiso’s love and appeals to her to marry him to save his life and his job. He goes to extremes when he claims to love Shamiso better than himself. But all this sounds like Clopas is blackmailing Shamiso considering that later on we hear that he eloped with a neighbour’s wife, leaving Shamiso to suffer with the children.

But, here he was promising Shamiso all the love claiming that he loved her better than himself. Really? Shamiso was taken up by Clopas’ letters and was already itching to write to him only for her sister to stop her on her tracks. She says: ”No,  wait!”

She wants her sister to tread with caution and not rush into an affair. She was older and perhaps knew the hazards of rushing to accept a marriage proposal as quickly as it comes.

Immediately after this, another letter has already landed. Shamiso is charmed by Clopas’ latest letter which has crimson hearts all round it. She wonders if it is Clopas himself who drew all those pictures. He sends her a photograph of himself so that she can remind herself and think of him at all times. He says perhaps she has forgotten him therefore sends that photograph so that she remembers him. He advises Shamiso to put the photograph on top of her pillow so as to dream about him when she falls asleep. These are forms of traditional courtship. Letters played a pivotal role as they helped communicate one’s feelings with no fear of hindrances.

Clopas further commits his deep love for Shamiso. “I still love you over than and will not stop scripting until the world stops and all the enjels come down and God ‘says’ every-bhadhi to HEVEN  or to hell but I em Coke shuwa a byutifuru gel lak you is gone to Heven stret away. S’true God, Shamiso. I love you more ich sekend. I will go on scripting even buys all the ritten peds and uhm-vlops at Bright Bookstore even the post master ‘say’ no no no Clopas finishing pestel stemps for others because my hart says you the women for me and I must not sarenda.”

All this shows Clopas pouring out his heart to the person he loves. He is very much determined to win Shamiso’s hand in marriage and makes it clear that Shamiso is the woman he loves. He turns to his ancestors who encourage him to try. He says, “Our old asestors said the forest gives when you are trying . . .” He adds that every morning cars almost hit him because he will be thinking of her. Clopas comes to a point where he thinks Shamiso is not responding to his letters probably because she thinks he is too old for her.

He reveals to her that he is twenty-four years old and is ready to start a family. However, he makes it clear that he cannot start a family without her. Through introspection, he also thinks Shamiso thinks he is joking and might be having another girl-friend. He goes on to justify his steadiness, a man who does not fool around with silly town girls who are after beer and money only. He claims to lead a smart life and is not taking advantage of her rural background since he stays in the city.

Another feather on his part is that he is a teetotaller, does not smoke, does not gamble or bet. He is honest to say he has a small house and “small education” but his head meaning the brain is not small. He supports this with the following words:

“Evri-month I benking money oat the Pos Office Serving Benker I ken keep well you and our childrens if you becomes my waif. So I em very very willing please Shami hear Mercy for me and considering all my proposing and please pleas rait me and cool my hart and say you love me two and agree.”

He is touched when he writes letters to Shamiso and ends this one in tears. He writes: “Yours in tears”. Shamiso is impressed with Clopas’ letters and asks from her sister if she could write to him now. Taking it from the old book of courtship Shamiso’s sister after some considerations tells Shamiso that she could write to Clopas now but she should say she is not very sure and needs more time to think about it. Shamiso asks, “Only that?”

Her sister then gives her a lecture about men. She tells Shamiso that men are very tricky and she should not encourage him too much on the first instance. She relates her own courtship with Shamiso’s babamkuru. She says when he proposed to her, she kept him off for a year, just to test him and that was the only time she had him grovelling on his knees in the dust. That was traditional courtship.

For views link with [email protected]/ or sms to 0772113207.

Share This:

Survey


We value your opinion! Take a moment to complete our survey

This will close in 20 seconds