The Sunday News
HEARTBREAK is one of the hardest things we experience in life and it is powerful. At some point, it stops becoming an emotion, a feeling, a phase that you are just going through when you are experiencing it. Heartbreak can be so strong and severely crippling so much that it can take on a life form you have never seen or imagined before.
It affects the way you look at the world, it affects the way that you have fun, it creeps into the light moments that you try to have with your friends and reminds you that laughter is not something that belongs in your life at that particular moment.
That is because heartbreak is real and real life has no switch so one has to go through every step of the way when dealing with heartbreak. Sadly in real life there is no audience planted in seats with popcorn, watching your movie for an hour and some minutes. Your life is not going to follow a storyline and end so that you wake up and the pain is gone, instead you wake up and still have to deal with your heartbreak the same way.
The pain of losing the one you desire, the shame of being rejected, the self-doubt that sets in when you have been denied they all teach you how emotional pain can feel far worse than physical pain. Nursing a broken heart is a disturbing venture. Once you accept what happened, and prepare to take care of yourself and your emotions, you will be able to move on and grow past it.
This week, our column is on a woman who was impregnated, rejected and left alone to deal with her broken world when the man responsible for her pregnancy vanished into thin air.
I dated this guy and they showered me with the outmost love I had ever seen, he used to treat me like his queen and would do anything for me. When I said jump he would ask how high and when I said dig he asked how deep? Then I got pregnant and he did not deny responsibility and that is what hurt the most. If he had refused responsibility it would have made things a little easier. He actually took me to the doctors for check-ups and gave me money for upkeep but all this only lasted for three months and he then evaporated and just disappeared on me.
He left with no trace and efforts to contact him were fruitless and I had to face the world all alone. I was broken, shattered and my whole world crumbled in front of me my life took a turn. I was still in college with an uncompleted degree.
I could not face my parents and I just could not get myself to tell them because I did not know what to tell them. I hid my pregnancy for six months and I eventually had to tell them. My mother was very disappointed and heartbroken and my father washed his hands off me and told me I was an adult and had to face the world alone.
I do not want to re-live that day because I was deeply hurt and I had no one to turn to because my boyfriend had disappeared on me. My whole world came crashing to my feet because I still needed my parents for my upkeep and to finish off my degree,
I used to cry day and night and I lost weight. I was a disappointment and I had failed my parents.
My mum would just look at me and start crying, my heart would sink as I thought of hospital bills and stuff, it was the toughest time of my life.
My boyfriend had left me with nothing but pregnancy that would soon be a human being, I had to feed and take care of and all this meant spending money I did not have. I could not get my head around things because all this did not make sense, just a couple of months back we were in love amd happy.
A lot had happened and our love had stood the test of time and I did not see this coming. I was convinced he was going to come back for me and his unborn child. When we started dating our relationship took a knock and his “wife” had come to my house to confront me and my parents had warned me about him but because I was young and in love I had continued seeing this guy.
Here I was left in the cold with a pregnancy that had brought disappointment in my family. I was so disappointed in myself as well because I had been warned about this guy but I kept at it and had even gotten myself knocked. Everything had happened so fast and I was struggling to process everything, all I knew was I had to find a way around it. I was hurt and broken but I had to keep my head up, I had to get back on my feet and life had to go on.
I tried to contact him and he was nowhere to be found, he had moved on with his life without me. He had changed numbers and I did not even know where he was or what he was doing with his life. I was mad at him because he had left me without an explanation and I was pregnant and alone. At that age I was scared to face the world and tell them I was dating a “married” man and I was pregnant with an incomplete degree.
I could not talk to anyone and I was so heart-broken but I made up my mind that I was going to do this journey on my own. I managed to see myself through the pregnancy and the rest is history but I have a strong healthy baby boy who has given me so much joy and a reason to live. I still wince when I think of all I had to go through and all I had to face just to bring a life into this world.
Getting through a breakup is as much a physical process as an emotional one. Remember that, and know that it will get easier.
Keep going. You will get there someday and in the mean time continue to share your heartbreaking stories with us.
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