The Sunday News
SUMMER is back it is that time of the year again when men would rather stay out late while women toss and turn alone in their beds. It is a common fact that winter nights convince people to be at home so they can keep warm and most men are always on time to get home. Well winter nights are not a favourable time to stay outdoors, so now that summer time is back people are out more often at their favourite chill spots, drinking or chatting the night away. Half the time husbands do not come home on time, the first thing that hits the mind is he is cheating. How about he is not cheating but has a hide spot for protection against you! Yes, you as the wife.
Fact is not every man who drinks or comes home late is cheating. This week I want to move away from the pacifying theory that says if he is coming home late he is cheating, NO he is just staying away from you maybe, well just maybe because you are not performing your wifely duties, or summer is exposing you of that unpleasant odour or you are just but a pain because of the nagging. Every time he is late you are already making up these theories about him being out with his “small house” hayi athwele nzima ama small house ngoba atshona eqanjelwa amanga umuntu engazinuki amakhwapha azincede nje.
A close friend of mine shared with me why he would rather be out with the boys than be at home with his wife. “I work five days in a week and my wife does not work at all and we do not have any children. The house is never cleaned up, she sits around all day watching television flipping from one channel to the other, I’m serious she just watches it over and over 24/7. One thing she will do is make dinner when I come home, nothing difficult, anything that will keep the body and soul together she does not put much creativity, but at least there is some effort there although not so healthy or tasty. She will then stay up until late chatting on social sites.
Not to wake up the next day until noon or after so you know how it is when she wakes up she has the remote in her hand and so she hardly pays attention to things that matter. Needless to say our intimate relationship is almost non-existent, so you see why I have to stay out all night and be with my boys and truth is I am not cheating at all right now women are not anywhere in my space,” he said. All this talk got me thinking as I thought at times cheating is not the only thing that leads to divorce and all.
A lot of women complain about their husbands coming home late and never being available for dinner at home, this is trendy in most households but we hardly stop to think why he would rather stay out late than be at home with his family.
Some women use less of water during summer forgetting that as the temperatures increase the body excretes a lot of substances that create an unfriendly stench that definitely keeps him out all night. Imagine getting home to a stench house with a wife who has an offensive odour as she spent the whole day hopping from one house to the next in quest of the “latest” gossip and forgetting to clean herself up. Sometimes I do not blame those men at all. There is nothing that turns off as an offensive smell that only needs water, towel, soap, toothbrush/paste to get rid of. I mean seriously that is all there is to stay fresh all day as summer requires one to fall in love with water you can still enjoy your intimacy and keep your man at home without having to worry about summer odour. The men are not spared as well because some of them after these “stay-away” all night they get home with a foul smell, smelling like they were swimming in their beer.
Then comes the nagging wife who will whine and complain about everything all night until she falls asleep. There are some women who just cannot keep their mouths shut they always have something to say, as the clock strikes 5am the husband can already hear her voice miles away and as he leaves the office he would rather hang out than go home. Men are generally not as gifted as women in the talking department and they would at all cost avoid all the unnecessary talk as they prefer action to talking. However, some sisters out there talk too much and they keep their own husbands away from home. I mean a nagging wife is a serious problem that requires serious, and swift, attention. Nagging can become a vicious cycle. The more you nag, the more your mate avoids you or withdraws both emotionally and physically from you, so the more you nag. Some women are always fault finding, continually complaining, criticising, cynical, demanding, insistent, overcritical, persistent, pestering, pettish, pressing and so on and no one can ever stand.
So this summer ladies work on yourselves and do not blame summer for stealing your husbands when you are failing to keep them happy yourselves.
Till next week let’s keep talking.
