The Sunday News
Nhlalwenhle Ncube
NOWADAYS it seems tables have really turned against men in marriages because most of them are complaining of their wives not doing their best to save marriages which are sinking.
I find it funny when I hear people say women are the ones responsible for keeping their homes. If you are a man and belong to this school of thought then you are bound to have heartbreaks. Two people are in a marriage, so let’s not expect one person to do the impossible and keep the marriage going while the other party is excused to behave anyhow because of their gender. It is just off-side!
Men need to be told and understand that it is their duty to build their homes. Wives are not married to themselves so they can’t perform magic to make the marriage successful while men do little or nothing because they believe it is the duty of women alone to keep things going smoothly.
Many men make the mistake of treating their wives anyhow because of this erroneous societal conditioning. If you want a successful relationship or marriage, put in effort. Don’t expect your woman to kill herself for you because you are a man. Do your part and let her do hers and everything will be fine.
It is also very funny when I hear that women can’t leave their men no matter how bad they treat them because husbands are scarce. If you don’t take care of your wife, treat her shabbily and think she will remain with you for life, you will get the shock of your life and be dumped. Unfortunately few men can nurse heartbreaks, that’s the reason some then become suicidal.
Let me repeat this, “It is not a woman’s duty to keep the marriage.” Many men are making mistakes that are ruining their marriages. If you don’t believe me, ask your wives. There are some things that you might not even know you are doing wrong that are making your wives unhappy. Changing these habits would make a big difference in your marriage, which will also be good for you and wife.
Thinking your woman can’t leave you is one of the greatest mistakes you can make as a married man. Do you know how many men desire to have your wife? Do you know how many men tell her things she wants to hear? Do you know how many men tell her how beautiful and intelligent she is? Men should also play their role to safeguard their marriage. It is not easy for wives to wade off many temptations, but they try.
Listening to your wife talk about her feelings is essential. So also is talking about your own. Many men, however, think they need to hide their feelings or risk being seen as weak. That’s a mistake. Not sharing your emotions with your wife is not good for your marriage. She might start feeling like she’s missing a close connection that she wants with her husband.
One other important thing is not being sexually selfish. We all know that men cannot and will never manage to accept the fact that their partner is being intimate with someone else. When one discovers that there is such a thing happening, he goes crazy and there are a few who try to forgive, but it haunts them for years. For some it never heals and they remain heartbroken for a very long time, even affecting their social life.
They need to stop being sexually selfish. Some men forget how to work on their women’s body to get it ready for sex. They just jump in and out of these women as if there is someone chasing after them. They satisfy themselves and leave their wives sexually frustrated. It is even worse when these husbands haven’t figured out that their wives often need more than they do to get turned on. They forget that affection, making her feel loved and needed is basic for their wives to feel aroused.
Women will not stand bedroom drought and in solving that problem, they leave someone heartbroken as they go for option B.
Some men are having heartbreaks because of the wrong conclusion that it is a woman’s duty to compromise all the time and keep the marriage intact. With such mentality, one will be disrespecting his wife in many ways and the story will definitely not end well. This is the same reason we find people asking themselves what has happened to women nowadays. The answer is, nothing has happened, but some women have realised they cannot continue in abusive relationships, being told they are the ones responsible for their marriage survival while the other party doesn’t put any effort.
