Rebuke the destiny and spirit of betrayal!

Thandekile Moyo

John 13:11: for he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not everyone was clean. Verse 21 says: after he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.” Verse 26: “It is the one I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot.

The greatest betrayal we have ever known is that of Judas Iscariot as told in the Bible. For 30 pieces of silver, he “sold” the son of man.

Despite all the love Jesus had shown him and all the things Jesus had done for him Judas betrayed Jesus.

He had walked with Jesus, watching him heal many people and soothe the spirits of the broken hearted. Judas knew what a good man Jesus was, he knew first-hand the good that Jesus was bringing to the world, but he still betrayed him.

Because Jesus knew what was going to happen even before the idea of betrayal had entered Julius’ mind; it means that betraying Jesus was Judas’ destiny.

Not all betrayals are entirely senseless. In the year 44 BC, Julius Caesar is said to have been assassinated by Brutus, one of his closest friends.

In the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, Julius is said to have uttered these words upon realisation that his friend was murdering him; “et tu Brute?”

Meaning “and you, Brutus?”

I imagine how shocked he must have been that he was dying at the hands of someone who he believed loved him and was loyal to him.

On the other hand Brutus, the biggest backstabber of all time, believed he was doing the right thing. It is said that he loved Julius but he loved the Roman Empire more and felt Julius was destroying it.

Brutus had an ancestor also named Brutus who had overthrown the Roman monarchy in the year 509 BC; so he believed assassinating Caesar was his destiny.

We have all been betrayed at some point in our lives and half the time it does not make sense. A friend of mine got pregnant by her boyfriend of many years and the boyfriend said he was going to marry her.

She had met his parents and siblings and used to visit them all the time and he had met her family so we expected everything to sail smoothly. Imagine our shock when he did no pitch up for the lobola ceremony and later explained how he was already married to someone else and had been unable to tell my friend.

She says in the seven years that she had known him there was never a sign that he was married.

Another girl I know fell in love with a rich man while we were in college, he was the best boyfriend we had ever encountered and we all envied her.

He would give her love, attention, money and all the other things that make girls go crazy.

When she graduated she got a job in his hometown and she says she would go and cook for his parents, clean their house over the weekends and all the things that good girls do for their fiancé’s parents.

She says one of the sisters called her aside one day and told her, “you know what, my brother has a wife. Has he told you this?”

She says she immediately confronted her boyfriend and he was livid. He shoved her into the car and took her to the sister’s house and caused a huge scene, accusing his sister of lying and trying to break up his “marriage”. My friend believed him and continued dating him.

Until one sad day when an angry woman descended upon her and rained blows on her that left her sore all over for weeks. She says the woman beat her up so badly that she thought she was going to die.

The woman was her boyfriend’s wife who he had sworn only existed in the figment of his sister’s imagination.

What worries me the most is how people “group up” to lie to you. They form cabals of betrayal and make a fool of you, messing up your life, sometimes beyond repair. In both the stories I just told you, the parents of these boys were in on these lies.

How does a “normal” person accept their son’s concubine into the house knowing fully well he has a loving wife somewhere?

How do sisters take you under their wing, “love” you, “accept” you and befriend you knowing their brother has another girlfriend or wife?

How do you do it? I do not understand it. I cannot imagine, under any circumstances, becoming close friends with my brother’s mistress.

I cannot imagine my parents letting some girlfriend of my brother’s into the house knowing he has a wife. I cannot imagine my sister dining and partying with me and some boyfriend of mine knowing I left a husband at home.

There is a disturbing and disgusting system of betrayal happening in our lives that must be broken. What happened to integrity? What happened to fairness?

What happened to, imagine it were your brother, your daughter, sister or mother’s time being wasted?

Most people will tell you it is not their place to tell you that someone is lying to you. That is true, but is it your place to tell the perpetrator you want no part of it. It is your place to refuse to be drawn into the web of lies.

You cannot prevent someone from betraying another if they want to but you can keep your distance, avoid getting attached to the person being fooled, and prevent them from investing emotionally into a non-existent dream of “happy families”.

There are many men and women out there whose hearts have been broken by betrayal from loved ones. People whose dreams have been shattered. People living lives full of pain and misery.

We need to accept that where there is love there is bound to be betrayal.

The beauty of love is partly in the aspect of risk. You risk heartbreak, you risk insanity and above all you risk betrayal. Love is a gamble, sometimes you win and at times you lose but you never stop “playing”.

People will betray you for different reasons, like Judas, it may be their destiny. They may have been born just to betray you. Like Brutus, they may think they are doing it for a good reason. Some do it for no reason at all.

Some will betray you because they are deceitful by nature and others will do it to protect you, in their own way. It usually has nothing to do with anything you may have done. You can give some people all the love in the world, all the loyalty and faithfulness and they could still betray you.

Whatever the reason, at some point in our lives, we all face betrayal and we all betray others. For that reason alone, there must be life after betrayal.

After revealing to his disciples that one of them was going to betray him, in John 13:34 Jesus said “A new commandment I give to you: love one another.

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Those words must have come from a position of heartbreak and disappointment.

But despite the pain of knowing a loved one was going to betray him, Jesus still preached love. What this means is that betrayal must never make you bitter.

It must not stop you from loving others, even those that have brought you pain. It must not kill the love in you.

I write this from a position of severe heartbreak and disappointment in humanity. I also write this from a position of love.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, let us remember to always do our best not only to love one another, but to also be fair to the children of others. Rebuke the destiny and spirit of betrayal!