The Sunday News
Loveness Mpofu, Features Reporter
THIRTY-NINE-YEAR-OLD Ms Sihle Mguni (not real name) is a proud mother of six who started sex work in 2004 and is not about to retire despite being a grandmother and a mother-in-law.
Her line of duty is a closely guarded secret at least to the son-in law and some of her children. Her first born daughter is the only one in the know of where their mother gets the resources to make life tick.
She has no regrets getting into the world’s oldest profession despite despising names and tags she often gets from the unforgiving society. Her only consolation is that she has managed as a single parent to sustain her family with the proceeds of the profession as well as acquire what most so called professionals have been working all their life to get — a house in Mpopoma suburb in Bulawayo and what she calls a decent home in the rural areas.
She is not embarrassed to tell her tale to anyone who stops to listen. She said: “When I see my children happy and watch what they have achieved in life, I quickly forget all the troubles I went through as a sex worker.”
Her sentiments are shared by other sex workers. They said they have raised families through the profession — they have managed to send children to school and continue to advocate for the legalisation and recognition of their profession.
Ms Mguni’s eldest daughter (27) is now married, her second born is in Canada furthering his studies while the third born is a member of the armed forces. The other three are in Forms 5 and 2 and one at primary school.
“I’ve managed to build my own homestead and bought a house in Mpopoma. Currently I have 45 cattle in my rural home and one would be surprised to know that it’s the home of a sex worker,” she said.
Her friend, Miriam, is also a sex worker and a mother of an eight-month-old baby whose middle name — Mistake — sounds like a joke although it is a tale of how she came by. She works as a co-ordinator at the Sexual Rights Centre (SRC), an organisation which advocates for the sexual rights of sex workers. Miriam attends work at the SRC on weekdays and does sex work during weekends and sometimes after work.
“I would rather starve but make sure my daughter has everything she needs,” she said, adding that although she got the child by mistake she loves her like a part of her own body.
Their colleague, Florence has three children who are all in primary school. She pays for their education through sex work. To her, sex work is a difficult job but the great desire to sustain her children and see them happy gives her motivation to endure everything that the profession throws at her from emotional and physical harassment by clients to discrimination and scorn by society.
The three women share something in common; they do not regret entering the industry for they strongly believe that sex work has been vital towards raising their families and sustaining their living. They talk of competition too which they said was being posed by young girls saying although they have no desire of getting out of the profession, age and competition would soon retire them. As much as sex workers are benefiting from the trade and hoping it can one day be legalised, society trashes sex work as an immoral trade which should not be tolerated.
Those who are into it, however, argue that society is hypocritical on the issue saying it is like a Christian denouncing a visit to a traditional healer but goes there under the cover of darkness. They say they service academics, politicians, professionals and even church people hence their contributions to society’s progression should not be frowned upon.
Sex workers said contrary to the wide held belief that they contribute to divorcees, they were actually helping build families through provision of sex for a fee though, adding that they do not commit to a single man like the so called “small houses”.
“We are not small houses. We offer sex for a fee, for our living. We have decided to work in the sex industry just like you are working as a journalist,” said Miriam.
Over the years authorities have tried banning it but it thrives in the newly created environments like the Internet. Most people feel the practice should not be legalised saying it gives birth to a morally decadent society. They also feel it is detrimental to societal values as it jeopardises neighbourhood safety as people risk being victims of thieves or robbers, since sex workers’ homes attract all sorts of criminals.
Mr Thamsanqa Mpofu said: “You cannot allow people to sell drugs just because they want to sustain their families; this applies to sex workers, they cannot be condoned just because they want to raise their children, something that is illegal stays illegal regardless of whoever tries to make it legal.”
Sharing the same sentiments, Mr Mgcini Ndlovu said, “If legalised, sex work will bring society into more shame as people do what consenting adults are supposed to do behind closed doors. Sex work reduces sex to a financial transaction and that undermines normal human relationships such as marriage and family.”
Mr Vincent Mhene stresses the gruesome impact it has on children, as it creates a blurred line to the child between what is morally and ethically right and wrong. He also said male children raised by sex workers are likely to develop deep despite for women leading to psychopathic tendencies and if uncontrolled serial killing of women.
Even the Bible rejects sex work by dividing it into fornication and adultery. According to Pastor Nkosilathi Mlalazi of Unshakeable Pentecostal Church, fornication is voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married while adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person to a person not married to him /her. He said all these forms of sexual intercourse are an abomination before God and if done for the sake of money, the Bible refers to the person as a “whore” or “prostitute”.
Mr Mlalazi quoted the scripture of 1 Corinthians 7 VS 2: “Nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” He continued, “ Leviticus 19: 29 says do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land fall to whoredom, and the land become full of wickedness.”
Mr Mpofu criticised sex workers saying while they prosper, become rich and manage to educate their children, they should bear in mind that the family of that client suffers in sorrow every day as all the money would have been taken by the sex worker.
Even though most people only see the negatives about sex work, there are those who are optimistic about the trade. Ndlovu said legalising sex work could be a boost to the fiscus if the Government was to tax all sex activities. Mr Brighton Hove, a Nkulumane resident said legalising sex work makes those that chose to sell sex free and safe from physical abuse, though the emotional abuse would never be dealt with as they were used as objects. According to Florence this is one of the greatest challenges that sex workers face on a daily basis.
“Sometimes we are raped because the client overpowers us and forces us to do overtime for the charge of that same short time that we would have agreed on,” said Mlilo.
Well, for Miriam, being a sex worker has demeaned her and affected her psychologically because she has lost voice in her relationship. Her husband would taunt her by saying there is nothing sensible that a “whore” can advise him. Holding her cheek, she said in a low tone: “Whenever the father of my child insults me and doesn’t value my opinion, it opens the old wounds that I try so hard to forget.”
Miriam landed into sex work after she was continuously raped by her two cousins and was neglected by her aunt. Her parents died when she was very young, so she ran away to the streets at the age of 14 and became a sex worker. Mguni and Florence might have different backgrounds but the bottom line is that all the three women went through hard times which pushed them to enter the trade. So, should they continue being castigated by the society or tolerated for the sake of their children’s lives?
