The Sunday News
Bruce Ndlovu, Sunday Life Correspondent
LAST week, Zimbabwe got another juicy episode in the ongoing soap opera featuring rapper Desmond “Stunner” Chideme and his socialite businesswoman ex-wife Olinda Chapel, who once again sent tongues wagging with fresh details of what used to happen in the Chidemes’ bedroom.
The dramatic Olinda has been arguably Zimbabwean showbiz’s top newsmaker in 2017, which is in itself a remarkable feat considering that she was only largely known for her matrimonial union with Stunner before the start of the year.
Last week Olinda again took to Facebook, which has proved to be a useful pulpit for her, to preach about Stunner’s alleged extra-marital affairs, which included alleged steamy encounters between the rapper and his ex, Pokello Nare.
In a 17-minute-long secretly recorded phone call, one of Stunner’s friends revealed that the rapper allegedly used to use the Chidemes’ matrimonial bed whenever Olinda was away with girls that included Pokello and his current woman, Deon.
“Please don’t turn up this conversation he (Stunner) will kill me. Everyone loves calling me a snitch,” Trigger begged as he dished out juicy information about his friend’s alleged activities, while he promised to serve more helpings when Olinda comes back to Zimbabwe next week.
“This information is for now only, for digestion. When you come back I will tell you more, more information that will kill you,” said Trigger.
This is not the first time that it has been claimed that Stunner and Pokello never stopped seeing each other, despite the latter’s marriage to her Big Brother Africa beau, Elikem.
However, while Trigger gave out damning information about Stunner, it is the revelation about the alleged steamy encounters with Pokello that will excite showbiz gossips.
It was only a few years ago that the two, then a couple, first got the attention of Zimbabwe with their sex tape, an infamous bit of recorded intimacy that was, to many Zimbabweans, the first introduction to Pokello. The internet does not forget, as the popular adage goes, and whenever their names come up in the same sentence, many minds turn back to the tape that shocked the country.
While Olinda’s latest strike at Pokello is not her first attack at the shoe loving socialite, it is perhaps her most venomous yet. In the past, she alluded to the fact that the two were still in contact with each other, years after they broke up officially.
“I still speak to Pokello, she’s married, I’m married and we are cool like that. It’s not one of those relationships where I say good morning or what, it’s just normal,” revealed Stunner during his interview with Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa after Olinda went on the offensive for the first time on Facebook.
And on the latest allegations, he told the media he had no time to listen to such things, rubbishing them in the process. Pokello could not be reached for comment.
While the jury is still out on how true Trigger’s information about Stunner and Pokello is, their ongoing liaison is a familiar enough tale for many men and women.
Some are in relationships where a partner or spouse’s former flame casts a large shadow, a stubborn shadow that simply refuses to go away.
Due to their famous tape, Stunner and Pokello will be forever linked in the minds of many Zimbabweans.
Should things remain the same even after latest shots fired by Olinda, whoever Stunner or Pokello date or marry will always have to look over their shoulder. But why do men or women go back to their ex-lovers? Forget about the Stunner and Pokello allegations.
According to relationship counsellor Judith Wright, some former couples are just addicted to the drama and naughty adventure that their on and off encounters bring.
“The actual drama of breaking up and getting back together can become addictive,” Dr. Wright says. “It gives people a perceived sense of excitement and adventure that they don’t know how to infuse into an ongoing relationship, so they keep repeating the pattern over and over again,” said Wright.
“With Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram, it’s virtually impossible to ignore your ex (unless you deliberately and permanently delete them),” Bela Gandhi, relationship expert and founder of Smart Dating Academy, says. “If we don’t delete them, they can be a constant reminder,” she says. “Seeing a photo of them or hearing their voice in a video can trigger a little release of oxytocin, the attachment hormone.”
Most importantly, experts note that couples that always seem to run back into each other’s arms may simply be not over the feelings they once had for each other.
A 2015 study from North-western University found that reflecting on a break-up can actually help one develop a stronger sense of who they are. For some however, reflecting on a break-up leads them to seek what they once had.
