The Sunday News
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SOMETIMES people create their own heartbreaks through expectations!
How many times have you been disappointed but like a child, you picked yourself up and dusted yourself only to be tripped back, kissing dust by the same obstacle. How many expectations have you set for yourself only for them to vaporise or fail to materialise like a mirage in a desert?
We all have answers for that. There is something that makes us quickly forget tormenting issues, which throws us to harm’s way and even heartbreaks.
Expectations hurt, especially unrealistic ones. Are we so naïve to fail to read the writing on the wall or it’s part of our nature to be trapped in a vicious circle of expectations only to be drowned in tears. A friend of mine usually says it’s a must that one leaves a room for disappointment whenever expectations are involved.
By this hour and day, I find it baffling to discover there are still women out there who expect married men to leave their wives and children for them, subjecting themselves as small houses in the process.
My sister, you are just there as a looped memory panel, the moment your married ‘‘boyfriend’’ fixes his problems back home, it’s the moment you will realise that unreal expectations really hurt. Reality is that a person must never expect too much and should be realistic in those expectations to avoid unnecessary heartbreak.
There are a lot of unreal expectations that people subject themselves to, especially when it comes to relationship issues. Some of the expectations certainly would surely inspire fictional writers. Unreal expectations start from expecting to be married to a rich masculine hunk who gives you all the attention no matter what the case or having a flawless partner. I have heard and still hear of such wishes, which at the end only leaves people nursing heart injuries.
Of course everyone deserves a good life and all, but as usual expectations blur our visions. It is sad to spend the better part of your life regretting or hurting how good it could have been if only you had been realistic. I challenge you to shield yourself from the miseries of life especially the ones you let ferment to alcoholic stages in your mind only to be sobered back by reality.
Like many I am puzzled why we don’t learn from relationship history and expectations in general. History of unreal expectations, in its archives has more broken hearts. Decorated with such a record why do people fail to pluck a leaflet from this rich relationship memorabilia and make the most out of it to avoid being hur? There is something worryingly flawed about the human nature, that lets us, despite having fire scars, go on to play with fire again, with the hope of not getting burnt.
Some may assume that this is a weakness. When talking of unreal expectations, women are the victims most of the time. I think it is because of their humble and forgiving nature that catapults them to unreal expectations. Nevertheless armed with history of unreal expectations it’s possible to avoid being hurt in the near future.
Women have to understand that life has no formula otherwise it could be too predictable. In some cases when you think that you have mastered how to conquer and deal with expectations, life sneaks at you when you least expect and before you know it you start realising how unreal you have been all along.
Sadly for men, just because the woman they are targeting smiles at them they have high hopes that their love proposal will be accepted. When they are turned down, they begin to think of this and start blaming themselves. In actual fact, a person will hurt himself and when you try to knock sense into his head, he never understands. In that same vein being realistic can be mundane. What happened to shooting for the stars and if you fail at least land on the moon, such are life expectations. Life is one rough terrain that needs dreamers which in this case are people who tolerate unreal expectations with the hope of making it huge one day. Introducing reality to an idea or expectations might as well be the death of that idea. In as much as unrealistic expectations hurt, it’s all about who can take the pain and continue kissing a lot of frogs until they make it right.
Are you that person? If you are not, know that unreal expectations hurt, go for the ordinary and leave the tough expectation terrain to strong minded ones. Know your worth and never expect a lot from anyone because if they fail, you will be disappointed and hurt.
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