The Sunday News
THERE are times when we cannot turn our back and keep holding onto jagged pieces of glasses so much, no matter how much they are a pain to us we just keep them. Sometimes it is because the relationship is all we have and we are defined by it and our happiness entirely depends on the person we are with. There are times when one is told countless times to walk away but they hold on to what makes them happy.
Reading some emails I have learnt that heartbreak is not only a result of being walked out on or left unexpectedly or all the usual we associate it with. There are some people that live with heartbreaks and still wake up to them but are still okay with it, and this is one thing I have to learn and understand.
Many of us believe that when one is going through a heartbreak there is no way they are ever going to smile, laugh, go outside, or breathe again. Some of us may question how people can one day tell you they are in love, best friends, and all that and the next they want nothing to do with you.
For some a bad breakup can literally feel like the end of the world, yet for some it is just worth fighting for.
This week our column is on a man who gets broken-hearted by the same woman and yet still wants to cling on and make it work and his love for his woman is what breaks his heart.
I have caught her cheating but I still love her and want to be with her, my heart breaks each time I think of what we have been through and what the future holds for her. My heart breaks almost every now and then because I love her and she is my world but she cannot see it, she still cheats on me.
We were happy and I never suspected my woman could cheat on me and the first time I found out she was cheating I went through her phone and found text messages between her and some guy arranging to get together. Now let me just back up here and try to shed more light about my situation, maybe you can understand why I love her.
We live outside of town and my wife does not drive. She was saying in her texts to him that she was going to tell me that she had an appointment in town and have me take her to a location and drop her off and come back for her later. I did not confront her right away, I waited to see if she would try to follow through on it and so she did.
When she did I let the cat out of the bag that I knew. She immediately felt guilty and promised me that she was going to end it.
She even went as far as to show me texts sent after a lengthy argument about the matter that she was ending it.
Recently, when I went to pick her up at work, my phone died so I could not tell her I was outside waiting. So I parked my car and went round the block looking for a place to charge my phone so that I could tell her I was waiting for her.
I noticed that most shops were closed and as I walked out of one of the shops I saw a familiar car and decided to ask to use their phone to call my phone. I went to the car window, to see if I knew the person and could ask to use their phone. Lo-and-behold there she was, my wife with the same guy making out with him.
Now I did not go ballistic, I kept my cool. As far as I knew things did not really go too far to the point of unforgiveness (in my book), at this point as she never really had the time to do so but I am not discounting that until I know with 100 percent certainty.
However, most men would have walked and left her behind, but I have a little girl to worry about and in my opinion, the way my wife has been behaving she is not thinking of our daughter, just her own selfish feelings. I confronted her immediately and took her phone and sent him a direct message to stay away from my wife.
Although he replied he would, he did not. Let me just say this, that guy deserves the whipping he should be getting, but I have a little girl to worry about and I serve her no good by sitting in a jail cell.
A few days later I found the two of them together (supposedly just talking) right where I thought they would be (at the time, too much detail to explain). This time I went ballistic. I shouted a bit, turned around and got into my car, started the engine, threw her jacket out of the car and drove away.
Now I wish I could say that I kept going, but I did not. She immediately called me asking me to come back. I told her to give me one good reason for going back for her and she told me her period was late and we could be having a second child.
Right there the biggest question was ringing in my head was it mine or his? I was raised to be a man and I was not going to be a heartless man that would abandon a pregnant woman. However, luckily it is a question that we never had to explore as a few days later her cycle started, it was only just late.
She assured me that nothing more was going on between them and that they have never been together since and that she has ended it.
Each time I look back to all these things my heart breaks and I feel a sharp pain. I sometimes want to leave my wife but my love for her does not allow me to walk away. I am insecure and each time she comes home late or says she is visiting friends or family I have to go though the torture of trying to make sure that she is where she says she is.
I love her but she is the reason for my heartbreak. Our friends and family have stopped being involved and have advised us to do what works for us.
Getting through a breakup is as much a physical process as an emotional one. Remember that, and know that it will get easier.
Keep going. You will get there someday and in the mean time continue to share your heartbreaking stories with us. Email [email protected].
