Why women lie too

04 Oct, 2015 - 01:10 0 Views
Why women lie too

The Sunday News

lies

Auntie Charity

SO thuis past week I had to go on a defensive mode in response to the e-mails that came through, but all the same as usual that led to interesting discussions. I promised last week, I will write about why women lie too.

I guess we all lie at some point though I tend to prefer calling it a pretty lie if it will not hurt anyone or when we tell a lie to spare someone’s feelings as women we tend to do that too often. Regardless of the fact that nobody enjoys being lied to, it seems that lying within all types of relationships is common, and is thereby often forgiven or overlooked. While it is true that most of us are guilty of a little pretty lie now and again, relationships that are plagued with frequent lies can easily become hurtful and destructive.

Naturally as human beings we are wired differently and I do not want to go into details of how and why that is so because I cannot understand the science that happened for us to turn out different, so I will mainly focus on our speech and thinking in this column. One of the often noted distinctions between male and female brains is centred on our use of language. Though I will make use of one scientific revelation I came across that suggests that men apparently process language largely on the left side, while women tend to deal with language across the two hemispheres. This may explain why it is said that women generally outperform men at the level of language development because they have access to more complex, emotional, intuitive means of processing verbal information.

Women often tell horror stories about how they have been lied to in past relationships, but the truth is that we too as women are as guilty of lying as men, although perhaps for different reasons though sometimes men’s lies are more personal and hurtful.

The result of this may be that it is often easier for females not only to read the effects of speech on others, but also to tailor their own speech to bring about the best possible reaction in other words, to tell people what they want to hear, leading to women being labelled liars.

As I mentioned earlier on the issue of pretty lies that most women are guilty of is simply because we care so much and we do not want to hurt those around us so we then tell some bit of white lies.

Not that I am justifying why women lie but I have noticed that women’s lies are not so destructive, we just like to add a bit of spice here and there, even when we tell stories we just have to tailor make it to suit the situation.

Pretty lies show human socialisation at its most crafty and sophisticated. Women are not only socialised to produce them, but also have the brain architecture to make themselves particularly good at it.

Please note none of this is to say that women are better than men, or worse than men, or even necessarily all that different.

Not only can nature affect us at the genetic level, potentially making us more biologically inclined to be emotionally responsive, but also, it seems, all of us have the capacity to be socialised this way or that, to identify with one sex or another, and for our minds to respond accordingly.

While some lies have obvious causes and can therefore be dealt with in a straightforward way, other lies have much more mysterious justifications that can make it difficult to know how to respond when someone justifies their own lie.

Although there can sometimes seem to be a legitimate reason for lying in everyone’s eyes, it is nonetheless an unhealthy and damaging habit. I personally think that for this reason, it is a good idea to re-evaluate any relationship in which there has been dishonesty and telling of pretty lies so that the “one who lies more than the other” debate can become irrelevant as this discussion can never be settled without pushing agendas or justifying why we lie and all.

Next week we are talking what men and women do differently to get ahead in life, share your thoughts and let’s keep talking: [email protected] .

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