The Sunday News
Charles Dube
THE aim in these three episodes has been to show how learners can improve writing stories. Today we focus on building detail just to temporarily wrap up this subject. Learners should note that writers try to build up as much detail as they can about setting, characters, and events in their sentences. They also often use short, simple sentences for dramatic impact in their stories. How can you build detail into simple sentences?
Depending on the level of class a simple sentence does not need to be simple. It can reveal lots of information to achieve various effects. For example, look at the following simple sentence that has been elaborated by the author by adding detail: With one angry gesture, he swallowed the contents of the bottle. A simple sentence has only one main clause, or is a main clause. A clause is a group of words including a verb.
Basically, a sentence is made up of a subject and a verb. Using the given sentence as an example the writer could have started with the sentence: He swallowed the contents. They might then have expanded the noun phrase: He swallowed the contents of the bottle. Detail can then be added to make it more interesting, for example: by using an adverbial phrase to say how he swallowed it. With one gesture, he swallowed the contents of the bottle.
By using adjective(s) to describe what the gesture was like — With one angry gesture, he swallowed the contents of the bottle. We have shown before that you can improve the quality of your sentences by changing the subject, verbs and objects in some instances. For example, in a simple sentence like: He swallowed the contents, you can substitute “he” with providing a proper noun like — Ross swallowed the contents of the bottle.
In a simple sentence like: The guard said I should stop, you can change the simple verb and use a term like — the guard roared, ordering me to stop what I was doing or the examiner bellowed instructions to the tense candidates. Improved object can be seen in the following sentence: She entered the room. A better writer will put it in the following manner — She entered the head’s office. Such improvements on ordinary sentences makes them more effective.
For you to be a better writer add detail to simple sentences by carefully selecting verbs, adverbs, adverbial phrases, adjectives and by expanding noun phrases. The unfortunate situation we get among learners is that they forget basic parts of speech which are taught from as early as Grade Three. It is also important to vary your sentence lengths for effective writing. Short sentence create suspense and long sentences are best used on descriptions.
For example, in the current rain season you can talk about the booming thunder and flashing of lightning in the dark sky. You can make use of alliteration to make descriptions more memorable, for instance, the rain roared and the lightning leapt. Remember alliteration is a sound effect that makes words memorable. Words close to each other start with the same sound. For example, in the previous sentence — the rain roared. Another example could be: The curious clown crept carefully.
There is a suggested writer’s tool kit which help learners become better writers. In the tool kit are reminders about creating characters and settings which have been dealt with before. There are also useful lists of connectives, verbs and adjectives. It also includes reminders about punctuation and setting speech. Most writers use punctuation to emphasise meaning in their writing as well as to clarify and avoid ambiguity. Punctuation can be used to add additional detail.
In addition to the above punctuation helps add emphasis to certain points in the text. It can also create tension and drama, add pathos, highlight humour, and create tone and other things. Punctuation is used by writers to engage the reader, keeping them involved in the text. For example, ellipses (. . .) can be used to show gaps in a text which can keep the reader guessing, inviting them to fill in the text.
Diligent learners or well-read learners build vocabulary banks as they read. They list all new words they come across and relevant to their areas of study. They keep on referring to their collection of words and do not run short of correct terms in their writing. For example, here is a list of adjectives that can be used to describe characters, for angry you can use — bad-tempered, boiling cross, fed up fuming, furious, stormy.
For bad you can use — cruel, evil, grotty, hideous, horrible, mean, naughty, rotten, sneaky, vicious, villainous, and wicked. These are just a few examples yet there many more words you can use. Happy — contented, delighted, glad, jolly, laughing, merry, thrilled. For frightened you can use — afraid, alarmed, fearful, ghostly, petrified, scared, spine-chilling, terrified, trembling. Note that these terms can be used in varying situations. It does not necessarily follow that they will apply in the same context.
Be careful when you use them. Here is a list of verbs going along with characters. For example, for cried you can also use — grizzled, howled, roared, screamed, screeched, shouted, sobbed, wailed, wept, whimpered, whined, whinged, yelled, yelped. Looked — examined, gaped at, gaped at, gawped at, gazed, glanced, glimpsed, observed, peered, stared, and viewed. Said — babbled, bawled, bellowed, blurted, called, chatted, complained, cried, croaked, declared gossiped, groaned and mumbled.
Read widely to acquire as much vocabulary to better your writing. Cramming cannot do the trick, but, learn and know the language. Having dwelt so much on language next week we might take a break from it and focus on Literature for a short time as well.
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