The Sunday News
Simba Jemwa, Sunday News Correspondent
When she met her blesser five years ago Lucia Nkomo* (25) was convinced that she had found her soulmate.
She says it was love at first sight.
“He was my dream man.
He was tall, dark and handsome.
He stole my heart.
On our second date he surprised me with white roses wrapped in US$20 notes and a sterling silver engagement ring.
He knelt down and proposed.
I was shocked; everything happened so quickly.
I was not ready to commit, but I said yes,” she remembers.
Mercedes-Benz C-Class
A year into the relationship her boyfriend, who is a prominent businessman, bought her a house in Hillside and a Mercedes-Benz C-Class, and gave her a monthly allowance of US$1 500.
It didn’t matter that he was not spending time with her during the festive season because he was taking care of her expenses.
But one day while they were on a holiday in Cape Town, South Africa, his phone started ringing incessantly around 2am and he kept ignoring it.
“I knew something was wrong, then he confessed that it was his wife calling.
I was in disbelief, I felt betrayed because he never told me he was married.
I had to make a decision about whether I wanted to be in this relationship or not.
“Although I was hurt, I forgave him because this was the man who showed me what unconditional love was,” she says, adding that she still loves him.
“Even if he didn’t have money, I would still date him.”
Fast-forward to five years later and Nkomo is still dating the man.
Twice a year she and her bae travel overseas and attend celebrity events, and although the wife tags along she doesn’t know that she is on holiday with her husband’s side chick.
“Every time we travel overseas, he books me on a different flight.
We stay in the same hotel, but on different floors.
Dubai
Last year we went to Dubai and he booked all of us (himself, his family and I) and my shopping allowance was US$10 000.”
But there are rules that cannot be broken.
“I am not allowed to call him.
I can only communicate with him when it’s necessary via WhatsApp or text message.
But he makes sure that he spends at least one or two nights with me.”
If she happens to bump into the wife or the family at the hotel foyer, she cannot say anything to them.
Nkomo would never break the rules because she knows that she has to respect the wife of her blesser.
“I can’t mess with the rules because it will be the end of the relationship,” she explains.
This year they are going on an island vacation.
“I am looking forward to this holiday.
We’ve been planning it together since January.
I am also the one who always buys gifts for the wife and kids.”
On whether she might one day change her mind and agree to be the second wife, Nkomo says: “I am already the second wife, although it’s unofficial.
He wants to have kids with me, maybe it’s about time I consider it.
We’ve been at this for five years.”
But it’s going to be a bleak Christmas for Thandeka Ncube* (23).
Ncube has been in a relationship with a 39-year-old mining businessman for three years and she has had to accept that her blesser isn’t available in December.
For the past three years she has spent Christmas with her family in Plumtree.
“The golden rules are set and clear —communication from my side is prohibited.
WhatsApp
I am not even allowed to text or WhatsApp until the second week of January.
I am fine with that because I know I am loaded and sorted.
I can buy anything I want, so why would I worry?” she asks.
She explains that the December holidays were the best time of the year for her because she gets a bonus from her blesser.
“My allowance is US$750 every month, but he gives me more in December.”
Ncube spends time with her blesser during the year and the pair has travelled locally and internationally.
“I travel with him and he showers me with expensive gifts such as Louis Vuitton and Hermès bags, but during the festive season I must give him some space.”
Unlike Nkomo, Ncube says she is not ready to be a second wife.
“I am enjoying my time as a side chick, but I am definitely not ready to be a second wife. I don’t believe in polygamy.”
*Not their real names
@RealSimbaJemwa
