Chat with Sis Noe . . . Am I a virgin or not?

21 Jul, 2019 - 00:07 0 Views
Chat with Sis Noe . . . Am I a virgin or not?

The Sunday News

Hi Sis Noe

I AM a man aged 26 and a father of one. I am in love with an Ordinary Level student.

My problem is that she does not know that I am married; I now want to tell her but I fear she might reject me because I love her and I want to marry her, because my wife does not respect my parents or love any of my relatives. Help.

Reply

With all due respect, you ought to realise this is wrong.

I am sure she is very endearing, but you will only hurt her and age her beyond her years if you continue your affair with her.

It is normal to be attracted outside of societal restrictions but I encourage you to consider what you are doing.

Please know, she would likely respond to your liking, but for all the wrong reasons — insecurity, liking the attention, curiosity, to impress her friends.

But don’t fool yourself — every hour you spend crossing the line with her will mean she will take time to recover from the disappointment that you will put her through.

You are married Mister and having problems with your wife does not give you the right to use this girl to comfort yourself.

I urge you to work out your problems with your wife, find that spirit that made you love her in the first place and leave this girl alone with her innocence. It is wrong for you to rob her of her years.

Love the wife of your youth. Your problems are not insurmountable.

Hi Sis Noe
I am a man aged 21 and once had sex when I was 19 using a condom. Am I a virgin or not?

Reply

Condom or not, if you are having sex you have lost your virginity.

A condom prevents you from contracting sexually transmitted diseases and getting a woman pregnant but it doesn’t even do that 100 percent of the time. It does not stop you from losing your virginity.

Yes . . . if you penetrated the girl you were with then you are no longer a virgin even if you used a condom.

Sex with a condom is still sex.

If you use a condom the first time you have sex, most people would consider this your “first time.” However, what matters most is how you feel about it and how you want to define your experience.

Thumbs up to you for deciding to use a condom regardless of the fact that you choose to call it sex or not.

Hi Sis Noe
I am 29 and an early ejaculator, I want to know if I will be able to impregnate. Help please.

Reply

One single sperm can make union with the ovum and create life.

When a man ejaculates there are millions or more sperms but it only takes one to impregnate a woman.

As long as you prematurely ejaculate inside the vagina pregnancy will occur — it’s not how long you last that determines fertility, it’s whether you ejaculate inside her.

Reproduction does not happen when you suffer from severe premature ejaculation, which is a scenario where you ejaculate before penetration.

Premature ejaculation is not infertility.

Hi Sis Noe

I am a young lady aged 20 and dating a 22-year-old guy who happens to be my neighbour. My mother is against this relationship, what should I do?

Reply

What you cannot do is to play defensive.

I am sure your mother has reasons that make perfect sense to her about why he is not the right guy for you and you are not going to be able to change her mind.

As hard as it may be, I encourage you to suck it up and hear her out without defending him or your relationship.

If you really want to change your mum’s opinion of this guy, then you have to do the one thing you dislike the most.

Obey her. You see, if you really want to see this relationship to last, realise that the more you defy or deceive your mother, the more resentment you will create.

How is your boyfriend supposed to win your mother’s respect while openly going against her will? What you have to do is to quit trying to convince her how great he is.

If he is a gentleman of character, purity, faithfulness and honesty, then these qualities will become obvious to your mother.

Instead of playing tug-of-war with your mum, try to see why she does not like him.

Maybe you know exactly why she disapproves of him, but your love for him has blinded you or have just gotten over it.

You don’t see it as a problem, you think he will change, or you want to improve him.

He is your neighbour so that may mean your mother knows something that you don’t.

She may have a problem with the fact that he is a neighbour though in my book there is nothing wrong with loving a neighbour if your feelings for each other are genuine.

Try not to let this situation consume you as it will get in the way of enjoying your individual time with your boyfriend or your mother. Make the subject off limits during one-on-one time with either of them.

Your mum’s opinion may change, but it may not and you will have to face that reality.

Do your best to open her heart and mind, but in the end it’s you who has to love him, not her.

And you can’t live your life consistently seeking your mother’s approval if you ever want to truly grow up.

That said, keep in mind that sometimes our parents see red flags that we don’t, especially in a situation where infatuation is blinding.

Be open to the possibility that your mother may have a point, even if her delivery of it is harsh.

Only you know whether this relationship is good or bad for you.

Don’t stay in it to prove her wrong and don’t jump too soon to gain her approval.

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