The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
My husband and I used to be too busy for sex. Now we are retired but nothing has changed. He is no longer interested in sex. Any time I suggest we make love he comes up with an excuse. I am tempted to cheat. — Starving.
Reply
I suspect your husband has lost his sexual confidence. Years of being consumed with work have left him confused about what his role is now at home. Talk to him away from the bedroom and emphasise that sex is important to you. Would he consider going back to basics with hugs, kisses, kind words and date nights? Keep talking and seeing where compromises might be made. I’m not suggesting you throw up your marriage, but if you crave affection and you are not getting it, you may have to start thinking about your own happiness and satisfaction in a long-term context.
Hi Sis Noe
IS it possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding? — Curious.
Reply
Yes, it is possible to get pregnant within a few months after having a baby — even if you are still lactating. You may have heard about something called lactation amenorrhoea, or the breastfeeding method, which is a birth control method frequently used by new mothers. It works because breastfeeding causes a woman to stop ovulating and in turn, stop menstruating for about six months after giving birth.
However, this contraception strategy only prevents pregnancy when under specific circumstances. This means that some new mums might still be at risk of pregnancy depending on their particular breastfeeding situation.
Hi Sis Noe
I AM 26 and married. After ejaculation, my sperms find their way out of my wife’s vagina. Will I be able to reproduce? — Worried.
Reply
Sperm leakage from the vagina is normal and to be expected when there is enough of the ejaculate. Sperm leakage means there is enough of the ejaculate. Most people notice some discharge immediately after sex and some think it’s the cause of infertility. The fluid coming out of the vagina is a portion of the ejaculate. But less than five percent of the ejaculate is actually sperm; over 95 percent is made up of other fluids.
Leakage of the ejaculate from the vagina is highly unlikely to prevent your wife from getting pregnant. In fact, it’s totally normal for some of the ejaculate to come out of her vagina after intercourse. If you ejaculate deep inside her, then you can be sure that no matter how much of the ejaculate leaks out afterward, enough sperm will reach the cervical mucus. If your wife stays on her back for the suggested 15-20 minutes after intercourse, hips slightly elevated, this leakage of the ejaculate is usually not a cause of infertility. But usually it is a good sign that some ejaculate leaks out because it may mean that you are depositing your semen normally in her vagina and that there is enough of it.
Hi Sis Noe
When I have sex with my boyfriend the condom keeps slipping off and it turns me off. It frustrates me. — Help.
Reply
A condom that continuously slip-slides away can be frustrating especially if it keeps killing the mood. Fortunately there are a few things you can troubleshoot to get to the root of the problem. The next time your partner puts on a condom you might want to check the fit. Is the condom snug around the shaft of the penis? Did your boyfriend roll the condom down all of the way? Is there extra latex hanging or bunched up? They don’t call it a love glove for nothing; the condom should not slide around on him while he is sliding around in you, so make sure it fits like a glove.
Keep in mind that brands and styles of condoms are varied. Perhaps sampling a few to see which ones provide a better fit may be helpful, and fun. Another thing to consider is your position during sex. Have you noticed that the condom escapes only when you and your partner are in certain positions? If he were on his back when you make love, for example, would the condom be less likely to come off? Trying a number of positions to see what keeps the condom in place may not only help you diagnose the problem; it could spice up your routine as well.
Condoms are made to fit tightly on an erect penis, so another thing to check is whether your boyfriend is keeping his erection during sex. Erections can come and go (perfectly normal, by the way); if this is the case, the condom may loosen its grip and slip off. A smaller sized condom may be appropriate so that he doesn’t slip out during a lull in erection. Saying and doing things that will maintain arousal during sex may also help in this situation.
Lastly, although it can be challenging to talk about this stuff, the best way to figure out what is going on with your boyfriend down there may be asking him what he thinks is causing the problem. It’s possible that he knows what the difficulty is, but is embarrassed to tell you, or assumes you already know. Never underestimate the power of open, honest communication.
