The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I am 20 years old and I have small breasts. Do you think my future husband will like them?
Reply
Believe it or not, only a very small percentage of breasts fit into the perfect and unrealistic standard that has been manufactured through advertisements, movies, pornography, and other mainstream media.
The reality is that women have all types of boobs under their clothes — there’s a huge range of shapes, colours, and sizes out there. Breasts range from small to large, they may be flat, full, or pointy, and plenty of breasts have stretch marks on them, while others may not.
Nipples, like breasts, come in a variety of sizes and colours. Many people have hair growing around their nipples, and some may have one or two inverted nipples. Breasts also change over the lifespan, so puberty, ageing, and weight change may all affect their size and appearance.
All this to say: there is no “normal” when it comes to breasts. And just as there is a variety in breasts, there is a variety in breast preference. That being said, it is possible that if you are not feeling confident about your breasts, it may influence the worries you have with your man.
You may want to reflect on why you feel your man will laugh or be displeased with your breasts. Has he made comments about them? Did he do anything to make you feel as though your breasts were inadequate? If he has, you may want to speak with him about how that makes you feel and think about if you would want to be intimate with someone who is not kind to you about your body.
If he has not, it may be helpful to reflect on why you feel he would do this and how your feelings about your breasts may play a role. You are not alone in feeling self-conscious about breast size. Ultimately, your boobs are yours and it’s up to you to figure out what you need to feel comfortable with your unique pair.
If a partner ever makes you feel that your breasts are anything less than awesome, you may want to ask yourself if he is the right man for you.
Hi Sis Noe
How true is the claim that a woman can have multiple orgasms?
Reply
Multiple orgasms are real. This experience refers to orgasms that occur rapidly, one after the other, perhaps seconds apart. Within and across the gender spectrum, some folks can experience multiple orgasms, although it may be experienced differently depending on the sexual organs involved.
Additionally, while some people may be able to experience orgasm multiple times, for some that may not be the goal or even be desirable. Multiple orgasms tend to differ based on the genitalia of the person —physiologically, people with a clitoris and vagina can be aroused and can orgasm again and again.
With repeated clitoral stimulation, they may be able to bounce between high arousal and orgasm until they feel that they are finished and choose to stop. That being said, there is wide variation among those with a clitoris and vagina in terms of their ability to orgasm repeatedly or interest in doing so.
Some women can feel satisfied with only one orgasm, while others are eager for more, if they are able to orgasm or enjoy that experience at all. Multiple orgasms are possible, but not everyone experiences them and it may not be everyone’s preference.
Whether multiple orgasms are in the cards for a person or not, each body has unique and wonderful sexual and sensual capacities just waiting to be explored, and it’s up to each person to discover what brings them joy and pleasure.
Hi Sis Noe
My relationship with my boyfriend is no longer affectionate like it was. What can I do to get the spark back?
Reply
As you settle into your relationship, it’s pretty common for the initial flames of passion to die down a bit. But even if the flames are not raging bonfire, there would ideally still be some fire burning in the pit and some heat to keep you both warm.
When you say you are no longer affectionate with each other, you may find it useful to first ask yourself: What would I like to see change in this relationship? Affection can take many forms and mean many different things.
What does this mean for you? For some people, a loss of affection may refer to a change in their actual feelings about their partner or about their relationship. For others, it may refer to a change in loving or caring behaviour towards their partner, even if underlying feelings of love and affection remain the same.
It may also refer to a decrease in the level of sexual intimacy or the frequency of sexual activity in the relationship. So perhaps you are thinking of one or two of these areas or maybe all of them apply in your situation. Whatever ways you may be thinking of, with some effort from everyone in the relationship, it can heat back up again.
While it’s not always easy to identify the feelings you are experiencing, it may be useful to first assess your own feelings for you partner.
The flavour of love in a relationship can change over time and this is typical. Over time, the very intense feelings that you first felt when you were falling for your partner can change.
The feelings can become deeper, but less all-consuming than in the initial period of the romance.
This doesn’t mean that all passion and eroticism are gone from the relationship, only that the intense urgency of the previous feelings may be replaced by persistent feelings of love and affection. Some people, in taking stock of their feelings, may find that their feelings have changed towards their partner, or they feel a strong connection with them, but one that no longer feels sexual.
Check your own barometer on your feelings and see what your gauge reads. It may be useful to ask your boyfriend about his feelings. Have the two of you ever communicated about the lack of affection? If not, what might it be like to bring this up with him? See if you can get a sense from him about his feelings, as well.
