Chat with Sis Noe…I don’t last 30 seconds, please help!

09 Jun, 2019 - 00:06 0 Views
Chat with Sis Noe…I don’t last 30 seconds, please help!

The Sunday News

Hi Sis Noe

I STOPPED taking pills a month ago but I am yet to get my period back. What is wrong with me?

Reply

Going off the pill, or any hormonal contraceptive, is a big switch for your body. Among other changes, it may take several weeks for your period to find its own rhythm and become a regular visitor again. Depending upon the woman, the type of pill, and the length of time you have been taking it, it may take anywhere from several weeks to several months before hormone levels regulate and allow regular menstruation to resume. In addition, if your periods were irregular before taking the pill, your periods may continue to be irregular after stopping the pill. Generally, your period should start four to six weeks after taking your last birth control pill. If you have not begun menstruating after three months, you may have a condition called post-pill amenorrhoea. Birth control pills stop your body from producing hormones that trigger ovulation (egg release) and menstruation. When you go off the pill, it can take a while for your body to re-adjust to its natural hormone production schedule. Eventually though, your regular menstrual cycle will return. Most women will ovulate about two weeks after going off the pill. Older women, especially women who have been on the pill for a long time, may begin ovulating again more slowly. Although unusual, it is possible for a woman to get pregnant before starting to menstruate again. If you have had unprotected sex since you stopped taking the pill, or if you are worried that there is a chance you could be pregnant, then you may want to take a pregnancy test. If after several months, you are still not getting periods or if you have concerns about being pregnant, you may want to schedule a check-up with a health care provider. All that being said, chances are everything is okay and your body is simply readjusting to life off the pill.  

Hi Sis Noe

I met this guy I like about a month ago and I think that he really likes me. He has a very busy schedule with work and sports, but when he says he will call me, he usually doesn’t. If he really likes me, why won’t he call when he says he will? Also, how can I tell if he likes me for me and not just my looks?

Reply

It’s easy to over-think things and jump to conclusions, especially when you like someone. But before you write him off or get downhearted, remember that there could be a number of reasons why he has not called you. It sounds like he could just be really busy. Have you tried calling him instead? Maybe he is shy and can’t work up the nerve to call you. Maybe he lost your number; there are many possible scenarios that would explain his behaviour. Of course, there is also the chance that he is just not interested. If he doesn’t call and you still don’t know why then perhaps it’s time for you to move on. If you are not getting what you want out of a relationship it’s probably best to look elsewhere. As the saying goes, if you miss one bus you can always catch another one. Have you been too focused on this one guy? Is there something about him in particular that you are attracted to, or is it the idea of having a boyfriend? As for your second question, it can be hard to tell at first if someone is attracted to you for your looks or for who you are or both. This is something that becomes apparent as you spend more time with a person. If the attraction is purely physical, the relationship may eventually fizzle, rather than sizzle, as you realise that you don’t have much in common. With this guy, or any potential partner, pay attention to your instincts. Do you feel happy spending time with this person? Can you talk to him easily? Do you spend time together doing things other than being physical? Although it can be difficult to tell at first what someone is interested in, after a while you might be able to get a better sense of his motives. Then you can decide if the relationship is working for you. In this situation and in the future, consider this: if you are into someone and you are just waiting for the phone to ring, maybe it’s time for you to take the initiative and call him. Sometimes you have to take a risk to get the reward. 

 Hi Sis Noe

My problem is that I ejaculate early, at times after 30 seconds. I want to enjoy having sex for long and to pleasure my partner. Help. 

Reply

It seems that you are describing two issues: one is lasting longer before you orgasm and the other is helping your partner orgasm. First, orgasm is a learned response. People learn what kind of stimulations and touching effectively brings them to orgasm. Think about what stimulates your rapid-response pattern and consider trying other types of touch and stimulation (slower, softer, faster, etc.); variation can introduce new pleasures, and may help turn-off an autopilot orgasm response. Some men may have learned to reach orgasm rapidly because they had no privacy when they were young and needed to finish masturbating quickly, before someone walked in. Yet, many men also consider it desirable to extend their pleasure and the pleasure of their partner. If you want to learn to last longer, your challenge is to increase the amount of time you spend in arousal. You might try the Stop-Start- method. For example, when you feel you are approaching the point of no return, stop what you are doing with and to your partner, and just do nothing, or hold each other, until the urge to ejaculate subsides. Then start again and stop again when you feel you are approaching orgasm. It may take a few tries to identify the point of no return, and to stop before then, but you do have the rest of your life to practice and get it right. You might try telling your partner when you need her to slow down or stop her movements for the moment, try having sex with her on top, and relaxing for a couple of seconds. The second issue that you raise is the pressure you feel to help your partner orgasm. It might help to increase communication with your partner about both of your experiences during intercourse. Have you spoken with her about what you want? Have you asked her about what she wants? You can’t read your partner’s mind (nor can she read yours) and you might find that her answers surprise you. By sharing and exploring your desires you can enhance both of your sexual experiences. One way to start the conversation may be to buy a book and read about new positions, techniques, and methods together. Lasting longer can take patience and practice. Hopefully, these suggestions will help you and your partner reach new heights.

Hi Sis Noe

I have been separated from my husband for two years. My parents don’t like him and they want to change the name and surname of our child. My child doesn’t have a birth certificate. I am so worried.

Reply

As much as you should respect your parents I think they have lost the plot on this one. The child belongs to you and your husband your parents have no say in this matter. Being the ones that are taking care of you and your child does not give them the right to change the name and surname of your child. It’s not only morally wrong, it’s illegal. Do not change the name and surname of the child at your parents’ behest. Being estranged from your husband is not an excuse for you to mess with his child. Your parents can dislike your husband but they should not involve themselves in your business. I am tempted to think your parents are the reason you are separated from your husband. If they are then they are a bad influence to you. You should not destroy your marriage and life for them. You choose who to love, they cannot choose for you and you should not allow them to. I advise you to talk to your husband, work things out and go back and live with him.

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