The Sunday News
Hi Sis noe
My wife is a bully, she does not respect me or appreciate me. She talks bad about me to her friends and relatives. As far as people are concerned I am a lazy husband and father. I have showered her with gifts but she throws them back at me. I am a prisoner in my own home. Help
Reply
If I was you I would be out of that marriage already but I am not you and I need to sit on the fence and be rational about it. Your wife sounds like a very unhappy woman. If she no longer loves nor respects you, then why can’t she set you free? Insist on a heart-to-heart conversation. Explain that you are exhausted because you have had enough of being pushed around.
You are a human being with feelings and needs. Insults and ingratitude don’t simply run off your back.
You are not made of stone. Tell her that she hurts you every time she slags you off and takes you for granted. How would she like it if the tables were turned and you started being vile towards her? She needs to understand that you have become “this close” to filing for divorce whether she approves or not.
If she is determined to save face and rescue this marriage, then there will have to be some significant changes. Is she willing to see things from your point of view and start again? Ultimately, however, you cannot allow yourself to be pushed around. If your wife really can’t stand you and you dread every waking day, then you have to make plans to move on.
Hi Sis Noe
I had an affair with my wife’s best friend and I confessed to her and now she wants a divorce. She shouts at me every day and no longer sleeps in the same bedroom with me. I thought confessing would lead to us to have a good marriage but now I am losing my wife. It’s not like I killed someone, why can’t she understand and forgive?
Reply
By trying to ease your conscience and clear the air, you have thrown the cat among the pigeons. Your wife thought she knew you inside out, but now she is faced with the reality that you betrayed her with her own friend on many occasions. I don’t think anyone could blame her for feeling devastated and humiliated. But now that everything is out in the open, you and she have to find a way forward — either together or apart.
If you honestly feel that you can’t apologise again and that your wife is so distraught that she is not actually listening to you anyway, then you need to suggest a cooling-off period apart. Why don’t you go and stay with friends or relatives, so that you can seek treatment for your stress — and she can decide whether she wants to give you a second chance? Tell her that you feel you need a temporary break in order to give each other space and air. The fact is that marriages do recover from affairs. People make mistakes and trip up and hearts are broken. Hopefully, in time, your wife will be in a position to talk rationally — and then the hard work will really begin for both of you.
Hi Sis Noe
I have a new girlfriend and already two months into the relationship I am tired of her. She wants us to chat every hour and when I don’t respond she gets angry. She wants to see me every day and when we don’t meet up she cries. She waits for me at work when I knock off and every weekend she wants to sleep at my place. She has told her friends that we are getting married next year and she now calls my mother, I don’t know how she got my mother’s number. Help. I am overwhelmed.
Reply
Your intense girlfriend is clearly loving this new relationship. She is excited and fired up and thinks you are the bee’s knees, but you cannot allow her to overwhelm or control you. Turning up unannounced at all hours is not necessarily appropriate because sometimes you need your own space and time.
Unless you tell her everything has to change if you are going to stay together, then you are going to become seriously hacked off. Be honest with her about your past experience so she knows exactly where she stands and what you are thinking. Insist she slows down, respects your position and agrees to take things one day at a time.
The fact is you hardly know each other and you are running before you can walk. Trust your instincts and if you genuinely believe she is in danger of consuming you whole, then end this relationship. We are all different in what we want and expect from a partner and you have to be true to yourself in telling her that she is frequently a little too hot to handle.
SOULMATES
I am a 30-year-old woman with two kids. I am HIV-negative looking for a single and loving serious man of the same status. He must be between the ages of 35-42. I am based in Bulawayo.
I am a lady aged 35 with five kids. I am looking for a serious man to settle down with based in Bulawayo.
Been through heartbreaks so please only serious men aged 38 and above.
Likhuluma loPrecious, ngingu mama ole-34 years, ngidinga ubaba o-single ozimisele ukuthatha. I have two children.
I am a man aged 42 looking for a lady who is HIV-positive from Bulawayo. I am a father of two.
I am a man aged 27 looking for a woman to settle down with. She should be about 23.
I am a 47-year-old genuine Christian man who is HIV-positive. I am formally employed and live by Christian principles. I am seeking someone aged between 30 and 40 of the same status to be friends with and if God allows, we will grow from there. I have no children and prefer a soft and warm hearted Christian.
I am a man aged 30 looking for a lady between 22-36 years for a relationship.
I am also looking for someone serious in life to settle down with. I am a woman of 47.
I am a 35-year-old man looking for a serious lady aged 20-28 who is ready for marriage. I am based in Kadoma.
I am a 35-year-old hard working accountant and single mother. I am a God-fearing Christian and I am looking for a man who wants to be in a serious relationship. I am based in Bulawayo. Men who are out to have fun and pass need not bother.
I am 35-year-old mother of two and I am formally employed. I am looking for a man who wants a serious relationship. He should be aged 38 to 42.
Reply for contacts of the above WhatsApp the number 0773111328. do not call.
