The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
MY sister likes being all over my boyfriend when he visits us. She loves flirting and I worry that she will seduce him. She has done that before. — Worried.
Reply
You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. But the answer is to remove your boyfriend from the equation. If she doesn’t see him then she cannot try to get him away from you. Problem solved! So why don’t you suggest that you meet up away from your home? You could go to his place, or meet any place far away from your seductive sister. I am sure you can come up with some excuses to keep him away, even just for a while. I’m sure your gruesome sister will catch on quick when her “prey” stops coming round, but it’s nothing to do with her. She has a serious problem with you and you have done well to keep a lid on your feelings for all this time. She has tried to put you in the shade from day one, but you are an adult now and if you don’t live under the same roof your relationship with her may improve.
Hi Sis Noe
My best friend took advantage of me. She borrowed $500 after she lied that she was having problems. I have discovered that she used the money to throw a party and to booze with her boyfriend. She keeps moaning that she is having financial difficulties. I want my money back. What must I do? — Worried.
Reply
Why are you so concerned about falling out with this woman? She owes you money. She tugged your heartstrings and embarrassed you into withdrawing your precious savings. Since then she has been out enjoying herself and has made no mention of paying you back. I urge you to get tough. If you believe that you have been conned, then report this matter to the police. Don’t allow the fact that you used to be close to make you feel guilty. It’s always very sad when people let us down; we start to doubt ourselves and question if we have somehow misunderstood a particular situation or got it wrong. But I worry that this is a stunt that your “friend” may have pulled on other people too, in which case, she needs to be stopped.
Hi Sis Noe
My husband and I used to be too busy for sex. Now we are retired but nothing has changed. He is no longer interested in sex. Any time I suggest we make love he comes up with an excuse. I am tempted to cheat. — Starving.
Reply
I suspect your husband has lost his sexual confidence. Years of being consumed with work have left him confused about what his role is now at home. Talk to him away from the bedroom and emphasise that sex is important to you. Would he consider going back to basics with hugs, kisses, kind words and date nights? Keep talking and seeing where compromises might be made. I’m not suggesting you throw up your marriage, but if you crave affection and you are not getting it, you may have to start thinking about your own happiness and satisfaction in a long-term context.
Hi Sis Noe
My girlfriend loves watching porn. She says she learns from it. Our sex life has changed as a result, she is mechanical during sex. She does all the porn moves and makes noises but it’s all an act. — Worried.
Reply
A recent survey in the UK revealed that one in three women watch porn and that the majority of those never view it with their partners, either. Many women enjoy this material because it gives them a chance to find out what they want and how to please themselves. I suggest you talk to her away from the bedroom in an effort to find out more. Tell her that you are not happy with the way things are because you feel excluded and confused. Can you and she find some middle ground and work this out as adults or do you feel this imbalance is a relationship breaker?
Hi Sis Noe
I am a young man aged 19 with a girl of 16. We have been dating for six months. Every time I call and send airtime so that she can call me but she doesn’t respond. — Help me.
Reply
Stop sending her the airtime and use it to call your friends and relatives. She is taking you for granted because she believes that you love her too much to allow her to get away with treating you like a staircase that she just steps on. Never make someone a priority if you are just an option to them. If there is one thing that girls want its attention but when they get it they tend to relax and fail to reciprocate. You need to realise that you are important in her life, ignore her for four days. Don’t call, don’t text and don’t visit her, just spend the time you usually dedicate to her with friends. If she loves you she will get worried and she will come to you with her tail between her legs. Trust me on this one.
