The Sunday News
NORMALLY, our men don’t show tears in public. This is regarded as a sign of weakness by many, for them it is far much safer to laugh even if you want to go boohoohoohoo.
Even at funerals where they are supposed to shed a tear or two in commiseration to the departed, we see them steeling their faces so much that their jaw lines stand out, all in an effort to be not seen shedding tears.
But why is it that men do not want their tears to flow in front of people, and especially to be seen by others?
Let me give this example, if a man is seen crying on the street, the very act is enough to even stop passing aircraft. It is even regarded as an omen portending something ghastly looming over us.
But if a woman cries on the same street, usually few people will take notice, maybe only those related to the person, otherwise it is business as usual for the rest.
Life is unfair isn’t it, men get all the attention. But wait, I will tell you later what male folk are missing by pretending that they don’t shed tears in public.
But before that, there is a way to make a man cry in front of people at funerals even if he doesn’t want to that can leave us in stitches.
Ask my kombi tout friends, just make the man drink some hot stuff, and hey presto, before you know it, he will be curled up in some corner and weeping louder than the female folk, often adding bass to their soprano.
But is it fair to relegate women to the role of funeral criers while men laugh at jokes around a fire?
Maybe that is natural phenomena in our patriarchal societies, that women, as mothers or mothers-to-be, are the more timid and emotional sex than the men and are easier to tears.
But listen to this. What if somehow we reversed roles as an experiment and had men crying at funerals and the women telling jokes and drinking beer around the funeral fire?
I think this would be a wonderful thing for funerals if it were to happen, because, come on guys, just like I said, there is something we are missing from this act of crying.
You still don’t get what I am driving at? Okay I will tell you.
Crying is beneficial to a person’s health.
What! I know this is the cry from those of you dear readers who don’t know about this. Yes, there are some of us who have a simple view of the act of crying, only concentrating on the physical aspect, that it is making some sad sounds from your mouth and shedding water from your eyes which we call tears, and that’s it.
Well, there is more, says udokotela we internet uMlalazi. Let me go through the list.
Among other things, crying is like copulation, for it reduces stress. Have you ever noticed that after a crying bout you feel much better, even if you were hiding when you were doing it?
This is not meant as a joke folks, it’s the gospel truth. Just give both a try one after the other and check out the results.
Crying also connects you to other people. In concise language, it boosts communication, and is a communication tool.
I will elaborate on the communication aspect. If you cry with other people, you will be like a music group or band, the more you cry together, the deeper the bond you establish between yourselves so much so that after the session you will be feeling more brotherly or sisterly.
You don’t believe this? If you see someone crying, just go to them and cry with them and evaluate the results at the end – that is nxa engakuthethisanga lol.
Crying also helps you to clean your eyes. Yes, as simple as all that. Remember when we cry we produce tears, and those tears are the water that washes the plates of our eyes, living them healthy and able to see very far away.
So you see what I was talking about, that women gain more from the very simple act of crying, while we men pretend that we don’t cry and are macho and carry repressed stress.
Next time you see me at a funeral, I will just walk over to where the women are sitting and cry with them, as I know that afterwards I will walk away with a healthier mind, body and last but not least, bionically clean eyes.