The Sunday News
Robin Muchetu, Senior Reporter
ADOPTION and fostering are considered an “un-African” phenomenon that over the years has not been easily acceptable as it is believed it is a Western concept.
The fear is taking in a child that is not from a family’s bloodline and the problems that may come with it, as Africans’ fear ngozi/uzimu that may befall them when the child’s ancestors want that child back in their rightful clan.
However, for one Bulawayo woman, Ms Sandiswe “Swe” Bhule (32) who is former Miss Earth 2014, it is an area she chose to dive in despite controversies and hustles that come with adoption and fostering children. She shared her journey.
“What really prompted me to take this journey was a myriad of things, one of them really was because growing up I had a special needs aunt and there was a time when I was reading my grandfather’s Readers Digest magazine and I came across a lady who had a daughter with Down’s Syndrome and she had taken her to college and was doing well for herself. I then decided that if I don’t have a biological special needs child, I will adopt one just so that I can help them out and give them a better shot at life,” said Ms Bhule.
Growing up also as an orphan, she said she realised the need for this kind of a service because she felt she could potentially have been one of those children that grow up on the streets with no one to care for her or in foster care.
She has two children, a one-year-old and a two-year-old under her care and they do not have special needs. She explained how one can foster a child or adopt one.
“What you do is to get in touch with your local Department of Social Welfare. Through them I then completed my process but I was assisted by an organisation called the Micheal Project and Kukosha Initiative, these two walked me through the whole process and were literally holding my hand which was really awesome,” she said.
Going through the process is “very hard” according to Ms Bhule.
“Its emotionally taxing, the waiting, not knowing what’s going to happen and also trying to figure out what the baby will be like. When my daughter came, I didn’t know how long it would take, initially you do an interview then get a police clearance and you get three referrals to your application, after that you just wait.
They contact you and also visit your house, I was so nervous because I did not know what they were looking out for in my house. I had no idea what they were assessing, maybe to assess if my home was child friendly or not. Maybe if it’s a home that children can grow up in,” she said.
For the process to be completed and enable fostering to commence, Ms Bhule waited for almost a year for her children to come but after four years of attempting to be granted an order. She said she took her family on board as she wanted them to be part of the process and not go through it alone. Adoption and fostering are not African concepts but occur quitely, in family units.
“When your sister passes away in the Western society the children are sent to foster care, you cannot just go and take them in without registering. But here when your sister passes away you automatically take in her children, that is the African way of doing things. On the other hand, we as Africans do not want to care for children that are not from our bloodline. It took four years of educating my family and getting them on board to accept what I wanted to do,” said Ms Bhule.
She said initially, there was resistance when she introduced the concept to her family. She said she constantly shared information with them so that it increased their understanding of the process.
“It helped in that as I was trying and failing several times, they saw how adamant I was in getting this process done and they allowed me to continue and when my children came, they absolutely loved them. My family is an awesome support structure for me as I go through this journey,” she said.
Ms Bhule who has no biological children is raising the children as a single foster mom. Ms Bhule said the journey was more about personal issues she was faced with and that pursuit she finally managed to get her children after the four-year battle.
“It is a daunting task but I think it is necessary because you are being entrusted with children who have been separated from their families for one reason or the other so you want to make sure that it’s something that you really want to do. It shouldn’t be an easy thing, that you are overtaken by emotions and to just say you want to foster, it can’t be that easy. You cannot pick up a child then decide it is too much for you and you want to take them back,” she added.
She said cumbersome and emotionally draining as the process is, it’s a good one that needs one to be strong as the wait is usually long and difficult. In the long run she said it is vital to increase the number of foster parents in Zimbabwe.
“It’s is my hope that one day we can decongest as many of the institutions that children live in as possible because institutionalising them is not that great compared to having a family. There are many ways that people can support children in foster care, if one cannot adopt as adoption is very difficult and permanent, one can foster as it is temporary.
You can foster for weeks, days, months, over school holidays and the child comes to your house and they are with you and your family. Because fostering is also a big commitment, you can support a child in foster care by paying their fees, getting books or clothes or anything,” she added.
Another way of assisting children in foster care, she said, is to volunteer in children’s homes, helping a foster family with babysitting, laundry, cleaning and even educating other people about fostering by gathering information and sharing with them.
“It’s not all about the person who wants to do the final bits of adopting and fostering but for every other person around them. There are organisations that can help prospective foster parents. My kids are like any other, we have good days and we have tantrum days but they make me so happy and have changed my life and much as I have changed theirs,” she concluded.-@NyembeziMu
