The Sunday News
Nhlalwenhle Ncube
A LIFE that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment!
In life, people have different expectations and time has proved that expecting a lot from a human being, brings nothing less than heartache.
Even if you treat others in a certain way with the hope of being treated the same way, you become disappointed. It then becomes clear that to avoid heartbreaks in life, one must not expect much from anyone.
It becomes clear that the key to happiness lies within managing your expectations both from others and in general.
When a person gets into a new relationship, expectations are always high that this person will be much better and more loving that the ex who left you nursing a heartbreak.
You will even be looking forward to a lifetime relationship without ups and downs. These are just mere expectations not the real situation.
Some people even go to the extent of falling in love with a person whose habits they do not fancy, but they have expectations that one day they will change and be what they desired in their world.
It is sad that most people hardly get the love they want. They end up living in their own world full of expectations and when things do not turn out their way, they become disappointed and hurt.
To avoid heartbreaks, at times one has to stop having high expectations, especially unrealistic expectations in a relationship.
For example, you cannot sympathise with someone who expects an alcoholic to wake up on the following day and not touch beer at all. The other one is stopping your man from being too close to his mother.
At times people need to get their heads out of the clouds and back to reality.
Make sure you have realistic expectations which do not need a miracle to happen within a twinkle of an eye. At times people are hurt because of certain versions they have created in their own heads.
The truth is, some people break their hearts through own unrealistic expectations.
Do not waste your time creating your own life episodes far from reality. Look at the actual scenes and plan your future based on what is happening in the real world not imaginary scenes.
This kind of thinking breeds heartbreak.
The lack of reality and communication will keep one on the constant cycle of disappointment.
There are a lot of life experiences at different levels in life. When you are in a relationship, do not expect too much as some relationships will get serious and some not.
Some will break your heart and some will just make you laugh. Some last a night and others a lifetime. But no matter how hard you try, they will all be what they are meant to be!
So rather than fight and force every woman or man you meet to be “the one,” just let them be themselves. Someone whose value can only be determined by time — time spent in the real world and not in your head.
No matter how much you wish to direct the behaviour of another person, regardless of how much you would like to see that person choose certain or fail to choose specific actions, the fact remains that he or she alone must choose how to behave in any given moment.
You may suggest certain steps to another person. You may even urge him or her to act a certain way. The thing is, it is impossible for you to know which step is in the highest and best interest of that person on his or her life journey. Your urgings may or may not benefit him or her.
Even in your own life, while you set a goal to arrive at a specific destination, your journey might take unanticipated (even painful) twists and turns allowing you to grow into who you need to become to achieve your ultimate life purpose. You choose the “what” while the universe creates the “how.”
Surprise! Life happens perfectly at each moment. Often, the biggest gifts come disguised in seriously painful events. Until you let go of expectations, you may miss the opportunities that surround you. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed!
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