The Sunday News
Nhlalwenhle Ncube
WHEN you are madly in love, you feel like telling the whole world that you have finally found that person who completes you. But then you realise that the other party when you are in public acts as if you are strangers.
You wonder what’s happening because when you are alone together, he is a different person. Your sweet and loving better-half acts distant and cold in front of friends and public in general. The minute you have people around you, he stops being affectionate and turns to be impersonal.
It really hurts to have a partner who is only sweet to you in private and when you are in public becomes a stranger.
Not that you will be expecting a lot of attention in public, but just that closeness and sharing jokes together. If someone is watching from a distance, they can even conclude that you were lying about you guys being in a relationship and you are the one pushing hard for things to happen.
It is always disturbing not to be given attention you expect just because you are in public. You will obviously begin to think that he or she is cheating on you and that person is around therefore, he has to keep a low note. The same incident then happens at different places making you realise there is more to it than you imagined.
You begin to wonder, is it because you embarrass your partner in public. Even when you ask him what’s wrong, he will say all is fine though it will be clear it’s not.
It is so sad to have a partner who is only loving and caring when you are indoors, but the minute you walk out of the house you become distant. It’s heartbreaking because if you are a woman you can’t afford to ignore that he only wants you for sex and nothing more. Why become nice indoors and act as if we do not know each other when in public.
Even some women do the same to their partners when in public. They forget that the person they are pushing far is the one who paid for their hairstyle and nails. In public they want to appear as if they are still available on the market, ignoring their own partners. When men realise that, they are quick to jump to conclusions, that it is either you are after their money or you are embarrassed by his ugliness.
Ignoring your partner in public is a bad behaviour and no reasons can justify or save your face for that. Someone was once asked why he ignores his partner in public and he said he doesn’t like her makeup and dressing. He forgot that even if he ignored her, people already knew she was his girlfriend and keeping the distance was useless. The best option was for him to be open and tell his partner to put on a different dress than choose to stay away from her. Even if you keep that distance, people laugh at you as well, blaming you for not being honest to your partner.
You find them laughing saying, “So he told her that darling you look hot in that.” It is always advisable to correct each other’s faults while indoors because you are a team and people will not laugh at your partner only but both of you.
If you are feeling frustrated about the fact that your spouse is a different person in public than at home with you, the often painful task is looking at yourself first. What kind of a spouse are you at home? Do you make your spouse want to be home with you? Do you treat your spouse as respectfully as his/her co-workers or friends do? Are you YOUR very best self at home? Is there something you are doing that is causing your spouse to distance themselves from you, dislike you, or treat you differently than they treat others?
Truth be told, no one wants to be disrespected and treated like a baby in public. So the reason some people get to be treated like strangers is because of the disrespect they display in public. I have seen some people who make their partners appear stupid and as if they never do anything right. That is very bad and when your partner realises that you treat him in such a manner, he will definitely stay away from you in public.
Good manners are crucial all the time. All you can do is be your best self and bring your best into the relationship. When you notice that it’s your partners’ habit to be cold in public, talk about the issue and tell him that it hurts you so much. It is better for him to be honest about why he behaves in such a manner than torture you. When in love, you want to be loved every day and everywhere despite who is around. Then if its a private relationship, it is better if you get to know and be on the same level after choosing to agree or not.
It is better to be single at once than to be with a partner who always acts as if he doesn’t know you in public. When you think of how sweet he will be when in private, you just break down as it hurts so much.
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