The Sunday News
SEX is meant to be consensual with both parties enjoying and getting satisfied! It’s just as simple as that, but unfortunately it seems in our society we have some men who still believe that this whole thing is about them and their ego. I was shocked to hear a colleague declaring that all women are prostitutes. When asked to elaborate, this was his shocking explanation, “Whenever you sleep with a woman you will have paid in cash or kind. “It’s not always about giving the person money aft er the act as you do when you hire the services of a prostitute.
At times, you just go out for drinks with someone and buy her lunch or just spoil her using cash. By so doing you are already making a payment.” Such a declaration from a man getting support from his friend sounded barbaric and a dead theory. After digesting the conversation, I realised that is the reason some men have left women heartbroken after just using them as sex toys. They are just selfish and think this bedroom business is about them and their satisfaction. At times some women will be in love and having that emotional attachment.
So when they go out with their partner, their minds will be innocent taking it that they having memorable moments not knowing the other half has a different agenda. Even when they later agree to engage in the sexual act, it is not about paying back, but satisfying themselves as well. Women also have sexual needs and it’s about time all those men who think it’s about their needs to seriously act mature.
Because of such beliefs, many women have been left hurt and heartbroken. Some have even failed to pick up the broken pieces as every time they see a man they think he has the same agenda of playing with their feelings then move on. Men must desist from this belief which seems to have stemmed from a sillier reasoning that women are to give sex in return for a man’s favours; which explains why they always feel they do not owe them anything aft er spending some money on them then definitely their part was to just sleep with them.
It seems acceptable when a man actively pursues a woman with the intent of having sex with her, but for a woman to do this would be indecorous and “demeaning” of her womanhood. In this century, on a serious note we do not want a society which promotes chastity especially for women. It is not fair at all to see it as something that needs to be asked and begged for, something men need to work hard for. Such beliefs are deadly and are some of the reasons which make men end up treating all women like prostitutes. No woman needs such treatment as they expect to be respected and loved.
Even those in the business of prostituting, when not on duty, they’ve got that man who gives them love and treats them well without treating her like a prostitute. Nothing offends a woman more than being called a prostitute. This behaviour trickles into some relationships and even marriages; where wives treat sex as some form of “reward” to be given only on demand and to be withheld whenever they feel like it. But that’s some messed up way to view sex. As a matter of fact, women also enjoy sex like men and it’s a need! Also men tend to do more exertion during sex than women.
So if men do almost all the work during sex and women enjoy the act more, how does it make sense for sex to be seen as a gift to men? Once you decide to have an active sexual life either in a relationship or aft er marriage, you need to realise that you are not doing anyone a favour or punishment, but you are at par. Of course men think of sex more and are more vocal and relentless in their pursuit of sexual gratification, but still it does not justify that it is a gift women give. It is meant to be consensual and when you agree to have sex with someone, you need to take responsibility for that action. Of course, men have been known to say a lot of untrue things in a bid to get women to have sex with them but it does not change the fact — you do not give, you only agree to have sex with him. Let’s get it right and stop making it a man’s business!
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