The Sunday News
SMALL house must die . . . reads the agenda of a anti- small house campaign led by five women pastors from a certain Pentecostal church. When I came across the poster, I almost had a heart attack because if their God/gods answer the prayer, then that means a lot of people will lose their loved ones — mums, aunts, daughters, sisters and grannies.
From my understanding, it literally means the death of small houses, not just an end of these relationships. As much as we know how disheartening it is to discover that you are being cheated on, praying for the other party’s death tallies to witchcraft.
What wrong has that woman done to you? I say deal with your “dog”!
I do not understand why these women who think they are big houses target the so-called small houses. I believe the problem is not the other woman, but the man at the centre of controversy. Sometimes even if you check the history of relationships of “big houses” someone somewhere refers to her as a small house, or if she had played her cards well, she managed to end the relationship and become the major shareholder, so to speak.
It is so unfortunate that some women the minute they suspect or hear rumours that their husband has a small house they start hunting her down. But truth is by throwing insults at her, you are not solving your marriage issues, but adding salt to injury as she might start fighting you back, giving you sleepless nights.
The issue of small houses is just 21st Century polygamy. Back then, a man married many wives and they lived in the same homestead. The difference in this century is that each and every woman stays at her own place and there is not much interaction, otherwise no woman deserves to die because of the fact that someone refers to her as small house.
In our quest to belong to a civilised society, we dumped our culture which had means of dealing and addressing small houses as respectable second wives. As such no amount of prayers can address this cultural loophole which is rearing its head, in moments we thought we had left it behind.
If you are a woman and have failed to make him a one-woman man, then you have to choose to live with it or divorce him once and for all. Once you realise that it is not your thing and have failed to adjust despite knowing it for long, it keeps tormenting and leaving your heart in pieces or when your man does not care about your feelings, then it is a red light that needs to be dealt with immediately.
If a man still loves you, he will make sure that he hides all his games from you and will be loyal to you. He will respect you and if you were to do a survey you would discover that a number of women know of their husband’s small house, but they just ignore the issue because it is none of their business. Some who have resorted to instant justice and being drama queens have actually destroyed their relationships only to realise that they were wasting time and hurting themselves more. The small house stays at her own place, has never bothered you so why torment yourself?
The other thing which “big houses” forget is that some of their marriages have lasted because of that same woman she wishes death upon. The small house can be the reason for your man’s success as she makes him happy and as you know for a happy man, the sky is the limit in terms of success. On several occasions we have read on how ladies of the night have saved many relationships.
Do not vent your rage on the other woman by calling her up and telling her off. Why should it always be the “other woman” getting most of the blame for an affair, being perceived as a wicked home wrecker when the so called husbands are left out to appear “innocent”. This is the same reason that even if a man ends the relationship with another woman, they always move to another one because they know they are not treated as major culprits, as they should be. We have to know that these small houses we are now calling upon the wrath of hell, actual cheat because already there are married men who are prepared to be in relationship with them.
There aren’t any pleasant descriptions that go along with being a small house. But in reality, these women are just ordinary women, not villains intent on destroying the world and all the marriages in it. Worse, there is a misconception that small houses are single mothers or women. From what I know and with tangible evidence, any woman is capable of being a small house and many of them are maintaining secret affairs that no one knows about.
There are several issues that could be going on inside a mistress’s life and mind. Some of them are rarely talked about. Many people won’t read this because they’ll say, “Why should I care about a home wrecker?” Well, simply put, anyone you know or love could be someone’s small house, so it does matter. The belittling term “small house” on its own holds no value in a relationship context and offering, small houses might be bringing more on the relationship table.
Just leave the small house alone because guilt is the permanent ghost that accompanies her throughout the entire affair and afterwards. Most girls do not fantasise about becoming someone’s small house when they grow up. Every adult is accountable for their actions — of that there is no doubt. Unfortunately, sometimes circumstances and poor decisions can lead to such affairs.
It’s not likely on the goal list of any woman to get wrapped up in an affair with a married man and potentially lose her own career, credibility, friends, or even — in some extreme cases — her own life because of it. Not to mention, some women who have affairs are also married and have families of their own that they are jeopardising by getting involved in an affair.
Many women end up being the other woman by having a “fling” with a man with whom they never intended on being with on a regular basis. They may or may not have known the man was married but they went ahead anyway, ending up infatuated or in love.
There is no doubt that small house feel envious that her lover’s relationship with his wife is not a secret to the world like hers. One thing that many small houses crave more than anything is validation of their relationship with their lovers. Sneaking around in secrecy is not ideal for a healthy, long-term relationship. Therefore in such circumstances it’s clear that being a small house is not an optimum solution but it’s circumstantial.
A small house, like any other woman, wants her lover to be proud of her, to tell their friends and family about her, and for them to have the desire to tell the whole world how much they love her. May God be upon us!!! It is your husband who is breaking your heart, not the small house, so hands off.
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