The Sunday News
Selusweyinkosi Mhlanga
What kind of life would you want to live if there were no limitations? When you daydream what do you see in your “perfect” life? What kind of career would you have? What kind of spouse would you want to share your life with?
How would you want your lifestyle to be like? What if I told you that you are the one placing limitations on what you want? Self-limitation is done because of fear of failure, rejection or simply enjoying your comfort zone.
What do you deserve?
There are so many people who settle for less than what they deserve. A person on the outside may see so much potential in someone yet all they see in themselves are limitations and hence decide to settle for less. Or they may just be thinking that they do not deserve any better.
Do you know your self-worth? Are you confident that you deserve to reach your goals and enjoy your life or are you one of those people who have resigned to fate and think life just happens to you? Why are you still in that abusive relationship if you know yourself worth? Why are you still unhappy in that job if you have confidence in your professional skills?
At this point you might want to talk about the state of the economy and recession? But wait . . . aren’t some people getting hired in this bad economy? Aren’t businesses being birthed right in this recession?
Signs that you are settling for less
You doubt that you can
When someone doubts your capabilities, you might be tempted to prove that person wrong and it becomes your motivation but if it’s you who has self-doubt then it’s another story. It simply means that you have no confidence in yourself and unless someone whose opinion matters to you drags you out that pit, you may be on your way to settling for less.
You think and plan but no action
You daydream a lot, brainstorm even but you never take action. So, you know exactly what you want to do but you just do not get up and do it. You allow the thoughts over and over in your head for a reason but not taking action is your weakness. You might want to change the situation before the end time comes and you wish you had actually done something about your ‘plans’.
You keep postponing
I’ll do it next week, when I get time, after I’ve done that and on and every other excuse just does not cut it. You even find time for watching movies just to put it off. If something is that important to you that you do have time to think about it, you should just pursue it. Time waits for no man.
You are playing small and you think it’s alright
There is the big league but you are playing in the small league and you know you shouldn’t be. But you think it’s alright because well, I’m not like so and so. If you feel so strongly about so and so such that you even despise them for their success then you know you ought to be at their level too. You just hate that they got there first. Guess what, you will keep hating them until you get up and level with them.
You blame others
You alone are capable of what happens to you. The blame game is just another excuse to cover up what you know you should have done. You are the only person who has to take your life to another level, so no matter what happens you are responsible for your life.
You are unhappy with yourself and your life
Some people fight with others a lot yet the only person they are unhappy with is themselves. Some regret why they made the decisions they did make and others do not know how to correct themselves and end up depressed. It’s never too late to turn things around. All one has to do is start.
How to stop settling
Realise that you are the driver in your life and if you do nothing, nothing will happen so you might as well keep driving, pausing only to redirect your journey, take short breaks and go for it again. You will never get any solutions while idling.
Yield to that drive
Everyone who has goals feels driven to do something about it. Stop ignoring that burning feeling that pushes you and ride on it to explore where you are being led.
Fill up on the way
You will not get skills and experience while harping on your weaknesses or fears. Do something, rather do something wrong and get corrected than not do anything at all. Turn your limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs. Be your own motivator.
Raise your standards
Quit playing small and get into the big league. If you don’t know how, start by finding out how others did it. We were meant live life in abundance, stop settling for less. You deserve a better life; you can get out of that abusive relationship and meet someone new. You can get a better life, better career or qualifications and you can have great friends. Life is too short to sell yourself short.
Feedback: [email protected]
