Wrong name during the game

22 Sep, 2019 - 00:09 0 Views
Wrong name during the game

The Sunday News

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DURING the heat of the moment, something hurtful happens. You just heard her screaming out someone’s name.

This is something which is bound to happen, though the other party might just take it as a mistake. It drives the one on the receiving end to a confusion bay.

It breaks her heart as she starts to believe that her partner is cheating and just using her as a sex toy.

A lot baffles the mind after misnaming during the adult game. However, nothing has meaning until you give it meaning. At least if it happens once, let it go!

If it happens once, you can forgive and forget, justifying the behaviour that your partner hasn’t gotten over the past. It then becomes an issue when it becomes a pattern. How can a mistake be repeated twice or thrice?

When it happens for the first time, you ignore as you know that she is already highly embarrassed and ashamed so why rake her over the coals. Assuming that you ignore, but sadly it happens again leaving you saddened, disappointed and just plain hurt. It just becomes a turn off on it’s own.

Being called with a wrong name during lovemaking is something which can haunt you for a long time. If someone repeats it a number of times, it means even when he is with you, he is still in fantasyland with the other person.

At times the other conclusion is that the person is cheating on you and misnaming during the adult game comes as a huge wake up call.

Of course some experts have justified this and said people should not feel too bad about it. “When you are in a state of euphoria, you conjure up things that remind you of other things, because you are in a state that has happened before.

As horrific as it may feel to have your partner call you the wrong name in bed it’s not necessarily a bad sign; rather, it’s often an indication you are conjuring a closeness that is akin to previous intimacy.

Let’s assume the person had a very special former lover who made him or her feel a certain thrill. Those sexual thrills, quality of orgasms and feelings of closeness were associated with that person and his or her name.”

In another study, it was discovered that misnaming those close to us is a “widespread phenomenon” and that it tends to involve conflating two individuals within the same semantic category — meaning that you will confuse siblings for other siblings, friends for other friends, and romantic partners for other romantic partners.

Put simple, those sexual thrills, quality of orgasms and feelings of closeness were associated with that person and his or her name.

Whatever the reason behind misnaming, it is not an easy thing to understand. Jealousy will always take centre stage and no one wants to be under the shadow of someone else or be second best.

This can happen to anyone and it is crucial to sort out your mercy. Sympathise with your partner, validate their feelings and understand their need to distance themselves a bit. Don’t get defensive or be dismissive of their hurt.

You need to give them assurance and emphasise the meaninglessness. Reassure your partner that this was simply a case of misfired synapses and you were in the moment where you weren’t thinking clearly (you weren’t really thinking at all!)

After such a blunder, your partner needs to hear from you so emphasise that there is no hidden meaning, you weren’t thinking about your ex, you are not still hung up on your ex, you weren’t comparing your current partner to your ex — it was just a stupid brain fart.

While doing all this, keep it light and do not act like you were caught cheating because this was a silly mistake! Convince your partner that you are totally into them and only them. Make it clear that they are better than your ex in every way. Be present and mindful in your relationship from here on out.

Of course winning him back won’t be easy so it’s always safe to implement a No-Name policy. If you really don’t trust yourself to use the right name in the heat of the moment, at least with a new partner, then make a habit of not employing proper names, instead use pet names like bae and sweetie.

With such names, you will never be caught on the wrong side.

Some people have been heartbroken because of misnaming. Not everyone will manage to forgive and let go after such a blunder.
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