The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have never enjoyed sex and I don’t feel a thing. Am I normal?
Reply
Sexual experiences reflect the connection of the mind and the body. What goes on in the mind is affected not only by what is going on sexually and non-sexually between the partners, but by everything that has gone on in a woman’s life. Sometimes even experiences from childhood can be relevant. This means that what you feel when your body is being stimulated by your partner depends not only on the partner’s skill, gentleness, care and ability to be guided by your needs, but also by what is going on in your mind while this is going on. Is your mind settled? Were you once raped? Were you raised by parents who taught you that sex is bad? All these and more could be the reason you don’t enjoy sex. Go to the doctor to find out what’s wrong with you.
Hi Sis Noe
I was a virgin but I did not bleed when I had sex with my husband.
Reply
Not all women bleed when they have sex for the first time. Vaginal bleeding from first time intercourse typically occurs when a woman’s hymen tears. The hymen is a thin layer of tissue that covers part of a woman’s vaginal entrance. Although the tissue itself is thin, it is filled with blood vessels — that is why tearing the hymen can lead to bleeding. Among women who notice bleeding when they first have sex, some notice only a small amount of bleeding and others notice a significant amount. However, some girls are not born with much hymen tissue at all and so when they are older and have vaginal intercourse for the first time, they don’t notice much bleeding, if they notice any at all. Other times girls are born with a typical amount of hymen but the hymen tears during childhood or adolescence without them even realising it. A young woman may tear her hymen while washing her vagina by inserting her finger or fingers or another object. Also, a young woman may tear her hymen while being fingered by her partner as part of sex play. Even tampon use may help to wear away parts of the hymen over time. Sports that require a lot of leg work, running, riding a bicycle can cause the hymen to tear. In other words, there are several reasons why you did not bleed during your first sexual intercourse but that doesn’t mean that you were not a virgin. I hope this is helpful.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 18 and pregnant but I am now worried because I still am menstruating so I wanted to know if it is normal to be pregnant and still go on your periods?
Reply
Pregnancy and periods can never go along simultaneously — if you are indeed pregnant. Technically, you cannot get your periods. Missing your period is actually the first sign of pregnancy. Bleeding in early pregnancy is a common occurrence, but this does not signal a true menstrual cycle. You must realise that the hormones that are active during pregnancy totally prevent ovulation. As we know, ovulation is the time in your cycle when the egg is released into the uterus and women experience menstrual bleeding. Since the egg in pregnant women is already fertilised, ovulation does not occur and hence no bleeding. However, it is not uncommon to find that many women do report getting what seem like regular periods during early pregnancy. The bleeding that pregnant women complain about though is not truly a menstrual period. It can be called early pregnancy bleeding. If you ever used contraceptives such as the Pill then you must know that studies have shown that women who get pregnant while on the Pill might also have intermittent bleeding. Menstruating during pregnancy is a myth; most women confuse any vaginal bleeding as their period because that is what they are used to happening. You did not experience a period; you experienced vaginal bleeding. This is a common occurrence and a wide misconception. You must know that bleeding early in pregnancy, as in the first trimester, is scary, but it usually does not signal a problem. It is also rather common among women. There are a few common causes of first-trimester bleeding, none of which is an indication of trouble. So stop worrying.
Hi Sis Noe
Is it possible for a woman to fall pregnant when she sleeps with guy for the first time?
Reply
Yes, a girl can become pregnant the first time she has sex. Any time a girl has vaginal sex with a guy, she is at risk of becoming pregnant. Even if a guy ejaculates outside of but near a girl’s vagina or pulls out before he comes, a girl can get pregnant. Any time a man and a woman have intercourse, pregnancy is possible (of course, the chance of pregnancy is greatly reduced if you are using an effective method of birth control). All that needs to happen is for a sperm to get to an egg. Even if a young woman has never menstruated, she might have just ovulated (released an egg) for the first time. This would make her fertile and pregnancy possible. It’s also possible to get a sexually transmitted disease (STD) anytime you have sex, including the first time. Actually, whenever people have any kind of sexual contact (oral, anal, or vaginal) they run the risk of getting an STD. That is why condoms were invented, to prevent the transmission of such diseases and pregnancy of course.
