The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I HAVE been married for three years now but I can’t get pregnant. I was checked together with my husband and nothing is wrong with us. My in-laws are now talking and making hurtful remarks about me not getting pregnant and even though my husband loves me and doesn’t mind I can tell that it is affecting him. My mother has suggested that I get myself impregnated by another man to bring peace to my marriage. What should I do? — Stressed.
Reply
Was your mother high or drunk when she said this? If she wasn’t then she is out of her mind. Your man doesn’t want you to leave him because he loves you. He is willing to do anything for you, but it is too risky for you to become sexually involved with another man and for that man to get you pregnant. Don’t take that type of risk. Let us just suppose that you were to get pregnant by another man, and in years to come, you have to do a DNA test on the child, and the man would find out that it is not his biological child. What would you do? The doctors said you are fine so just keep having sex — enjoy it, don’t make it a chore — one of these days you will fall pregnant.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a single mother living with a boyfriend who does not take care of me. As a result I have resorted to sleeping with other men for money. One of the men has told me to come and live with him and he will continue paying me for sex. What should I do? — Confused.
Reply
You are living dangerously. You are living with a man, but at the same time you are selling sex. If you are dressing up as a prostitute and soliciting for sex, you can’t deny that you are a prostitute. If you have no love for the man with whom you are living and if you truly believe he doesn’t love you then you should indeed get out of his house. He does not take care of you but you didn’t have to sell yourself. Now that you have played the role of a prostitute, and you succeeded in earning some money that way, you are going to be tempted to do so again. And very soon many people would know that that is what you are doing to earn money. I cannot encourage you to continue to sell sex. What I would urge you to do is to live within your means.
You say that one of the men is encouraging you to come and live with him; that is a decision that you would have to make. But, please, do not believe that you can dig out the eyes of every older man, so to speak, and laugh at him. These men will outsmart you and kick you out of their homes.
Hi Sis Noe
I went home early from school and found my aunt having sex with my uncle’s best friend. They didn’t see me but this has left me confused. My aunt took me in after my parents died and she does everything for me. Please help. — Worried.
Reply
You will have to take this secret to the grave — keep your mouth shut. You are a child and your aunt is supporting you well, along with the help of her husband. Don’t do or say anything that would cause her distress and to hate you. You are still a child. You are an orphan and you need support to make it in life, so why jeopardisze that? Where would you go if your aunt says that she doesn’t want you in her house? You know what you saw and heard, but this is not the right time to say anything about it. Stick to your books. Your career would mean much to you, and you are going to need the help from your aunt and uncle, so don’t blow the opportunity.
Hi Sis Noe
My mother does not like the father of my child; whenever he visits he has to wait outside to see his son. We agreed that he would marry me after he has put his finances in order but my mother does not like him because people say he is a womaniser. — Help.
Reply
Your mother is behaving as an ignorant woman. She does not like your child’s father, but he is already in the family and he should be treated with respect. Nothing is wrong with having this man sit with you and his son when he comes to the house. Her attitude is very bad. What she says she heard about him is not backed with facts – it could be just lies. But whether or not it is true, that should not cause her to treat him with disdain. I hope that you and this man will get married soon and live together as a family.
