The Sunday News
THE two of you have had an argument and you are still mad, do not stay angry for too long instead just try and open your arms and embrace your man instead of pushing him away. Making love is not an admission that you are wrong and he is right but as a woman try and take the initiative and spice up your sex life. As per your requests through dozens of e-mails sent through this week, I will talk about sex.
I personally think sex is an acknowledgment and a celebration of the love you share, even in times of discord you can still enjoy each other. Besides, men are easy to sweep off because 10 minutes after the shouting, he is already past the argument but as women we hold on to anger longer than men do and I think it happens naturally.
When you are in a marriage, differences are inevitable and a fight between a couple is not a coming-to-blows one where one person is a winner and the other is a loser. A fight is the revelation of something in your relationship that can be strengthened. If there is a problem, as a couple you should try to come together to fix it and to put it to bed and have a steamy sexual session.
Remember after all, both of you are two individuals with unique ideas and approaches to life. If you do not have differences, chances are, one of you is more accommodating and pretentious than the other, or worse, suppressing their anger so after a fight take it to bed and under the sheets and remind him of what he missed out while he was busy throwing words and complaining about trivial issues.
While arguments may not increase passion in a marriage they can still increase the spice in your sex life. Sex may be the last thing on your mind while arguing, but it should be the first thing on your to-do make up list. Make-up sex can help both of you open up more and connect better on an emotional level. You will be more truthful and more easily forgiving, which makes communicating with each other so much simpler and easy because after a good round of sex all you want to do is to relieve the moment and talk about things that excite you.
The basic explanation for the excitement in make-up sex is the transfer of the arousal state from one situation to another. Today I will get a little bit scientific because I cannot explain what make-up sex does in simpler language. When we are excited by one stimulus, we are likely to be easily excited by another one. Make-up sex is considered by many to be the best sex there is, which in many cases is worth the fight because it then takes away all the negative energy and your body is replaced with vibrations. I think this happens because to your mind, pleasure, pain, fear and almost every other intense feeling releases chemicals that make your heart race and make you feel breathless. So when you turn all that rage into sexual arousal, you are redirecting the intense passion of the argument into lovemaking which can end up making make-up sex feel a lot more passionate and animalistic than romantic lovemaking.
Engaging in a sexual reconciliation after a long, draining argument makes the entire acrimonious experience worthwhile. I know many women always want their husbands to apologise with material things. They will get angry until he brings something home as an apology then they can forgive. You do not need the classic apology and you really do not need flowers.
You must believe that actions speak a lot louder than words, and you can get your apology by taking a good time between the sheets over flowers, perfume or whatever any day. It is not about the making up, but the getting down that makes it all exciting so do not always end a fight by packing up your bags and moving back home or moving in with a friend just end your fight in between the sheets and wake up with a big smile.
Of course, make-up sex can many times just be a diversion from the real problem, instead of talking, couples can take to the sheets and the problems are not always getting resolved and will resurface, but who cares? Try and live in the moment it might work wonders for you. Then again you do not need to wait for a fight to test this mind blowing sex, you can have it every day only if you want to, it’s all up to you. It starts with desire and you have to want it. You have to be deliberate about going after a passionate, intimate marriage, and be willing to do whatever it takes to reach that goal. Engaging your heart fully in the joyful pursuit of a passionate marriage is the first step toward attaining it.
Let’s keep talking e-mail [email protected]
