The Sunday News
I don’t know where to begin this week. Should I comment on the recent noise of expulsion in the ruling party or I write about the confusion marring the position of war veterans? Should I remind people that a coalition is not the answer in their misled political pilgrimage or I should ask where Evan Mawarire is?
What happened to William Mutumanje now that Dr Noah Manyika has fished in his pond such that Acie considers luring him to VIVA? Where is Nomaliso Ncube, a young vibrant and intelligent woman who once was a deputy chairperson of VIVA?
What happened to her? Did she finally find out that she is too good to limit herself to a pack of moribund fashionistas scrounging for political crumbs? Oh ye clever one! It was nigh to your fall, luckily you were intelligent, you were smart to deject what would soil you. What happened at Africa or Unity Square which ever name you think meant best for Nera? Was it the biggest rally Zimbabwe has ever seen or it was full of “big” people who are now “was”? Did-the-mess, Rugare Chung, and
More-gang held hands as “others” watched, indeed kwakuyisisanasana umtshado wezinja.
Intelligence was mocked. The handful was made to believe that dwindles would recoup Isizwe into championship. Does Zimbabwe need a coalition? Coalescing for what, whom and how? Who trusts Didymus and Rugare?
They are not loyal I tell you, the little heartbreakers double crossed Ruinous, no, I meant Runaida. She was loyal, faithful, like an ideal African wife she succumbed to nauseating patriarchy, those two are not to be trusted, it’s only a fool who does not learn from the neighbour’s poverty. Fools have categories, they contest on who is better foolish — comparisons spell this better. Do not think far, a fool held hands with the two. You become who you meet, so they say. But who am I to spectacle foolishness, save for being a patriot whose convictions disallow continued watching of foolish proselytising. If only I had answers to all those questions; but alas! Ngixoleleni ngemibuzo mina bengingekho, so says oka Mbuli uMzwakhe.
The rejected, ejected and dejected
He did the mess in Zanu-PF and the party was not kind to him. Little was known that names are prophets, they ecstatically foretell character and fate. His stay lasted long enough to expose his scales. It’s so unfortunate that he was left begging to be taken back after contesting that he was not trailing the loins of Ruinous oh! Sorry meant Runaida. He told the courts that the claims were fabricated yet we all know that you can’t fabricate enthusiasm. It was difficult to hold back the thirst.
He finally came out clean. His affair with Rue, (I shall call her that with fear of using her real name which is Ruinous being confused for another) was for us the public to spectacle. We sat and watched how long a small house affair would last. The BaTonga do not lie when they say “aabwe mpwakkede takunyigwi mazyu” (do not mess the stone where you were seated). It’s his own mess that made the stone reject him — human waste is slippery, perhaps he slipped, but still, it’s stinking and the stone won’t be friendly after then.
He never left alone. The Chung married followed. Oh you whose Look East Policy was deeper than any imagined. You illustrated what looking East really meant; to you. I know the East as our all weather friends, indeed the weather was your friend in the trenches of Zambia and the war front. When others thought of siring freedom for Madzimbahwe you sired more than that.
Well, that is an issue for another day Mr Look East. It’s Runaida who attracted you out of what you helped build. I don’t mean to be condescending. But what kind of a man loses such focus? Anyway let’s also leave that for another day, she ejected you, you may choose between the two on which one exactly dejected you.
You have disappointed two light skinned women. I tell you what, your level of globalism inspires many, especially on feminine embracing, keep it up, history shall remember you as a political gigolo if you are not careful. Both of you were ejected from Zanu-PF, even your Ruinous woman ruined your integrity — if you still had any after Zanu when she refused to withdraw her revelations for your threesome aspirations — shame is like fart, the harder you try to avoid it, the louder and smellier it rumbles out. Yes, you were ejected by the stone, by Runaida, by ZimPF even though you kept the name. Ask yourselves why she gave you that name, it’s full of bad memories, ogre ones, horror, a political one.
The ark of Noah left some animals
I still am perturbed by the size of Noah’s ark in the Bible. I always try to blend science and theology. To those who do not know science is a baby of theology, all scientific knowledge is divine and sacrosanct. If you look deeper at how deep spiritually most inventors and theorists were, you would be astounded. Archaeology tells us of the existence of gigantic animals such as dinosaurs, mammoths and come to think of whales, elephants and anacondas, how did they fit in Noah’s ark, aah! Someone lied to the world, it’s either Noah’s ark never existed or those big animals are white people’s imaginary friends (whites celebrate insanity in the name of allowing imagination). At least one of them has evidence, you can choose which one is lying.
All the same, whether it’s symbolic or figurative, depending on your semantic positioning, the ark existed, at least let’s say it did, for the purpose of this article.
Dr Noah Manyika sat in a big chair at the press club in Bulawayo on Thursday morning. Flanked by seemingly intelligent one Linda Muzenda and Chris, I heard the most technocratic delivery I have ever come across in Zimbabwe.
Here is a sober, calm and collected Presidential aspirant. At least he sounds very intelligent than Simba Makoni. You remember Simba, Mujuru family project, oh yes, you do. Like many others he came to Bulawayo, the home of the politically destitute, who vote for anything that is not Zanu-PF, at least tides have started changing. The last by-election put competent man in office, talk of Colonel Tshinga Dube, talk of Joseph Tshuma, they both are visibly working hard. Wait, this piece is not about them, it’s about Dr Noah and his ark.
He refused to coalesce with imbeciles and morbid moribund, it’s not how he said it exactly, but this is pretty much what he said in a toned down and intellectual voice, whatever that is. Here is a man who denounces coalitions on the basis that everyone should be tested as an individual. Of course, we appreciate such boldness and bravery, challenge Robert Mugabe wedwa; I said it when I wrote about Kucaca Phulu one time — “Buyani one-one”. Noah wants to go head on with Zanu-PF alone. I respect such a man who believes in his strength not the Did-the-mess and More-gang burial society. Noah refused to bring on board the less intellectual. Categorically, Nera,Code and the Mthwakazi crew are not welcome thence. I have one problem with the ark though, it’s too idealistic and that will definitely be its sinking hole.
Look, the ark which left other animals wants only 14 cabinet ministers to run the country and I think such technocratic politics is very exclusionary. Let’s face it, political cadres want to be rewarded with political responsibilities, whether competent or not, 14 is too little a number for Zimbabweans to buy into you. That means there are less chances of one in that party to be influential, powerful and create a new culture. Moreover, his target is of the highly intellectual to drive Zimbabwe out of this quagmire through economic devolution. This is a stale political mantra, I would say. MDC claims victory over it, if there is anything Welshman can brag about besides reimbursing his generals with proportional representation, its advocacy for devolution in the new constitution. Oh, this other political dyslexic, I pray he doesn’t contest in 2018, he has to nurse the 2013 wounds, lick your wounds maWelsh.
Bulemalema mweenzule buchenjezu nkamwi
Stupidity is a shade while cleverness passes, if the rejected, ejected and dejected would learn but I doubt they will. It’s not them I am worried about; it’s the congregants who have been incorporated into foolish factory. If you do not make an informed choice today and now, brace yourselves for being the best mimicry of failure. A man who does not fear failure is dangerous to himself, his family and will contaminate you.
They are many who shall join the coalition pilgrimage; you shall know them by their speeches and associations. Partnering Tsvangirayi is a classical symptom of stupidity; you are not far from being ejected and rejected by the masses. There is no coming back from there. That one has experience in it and you can’t beat him at that. I feel for Did-the-mess and Rugare Chung, after all these years of knowing and stopping stupidity to ruin us, you too have assembled with it. What recipe is this? #RIPbothofyou.
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