The Sunday News
Nhlalwenhle Ncube
HEARTBREAK is something I would not wish on anyone, but for one to know true love it must happen at some point in life. Love can teach you a whole lot about life. But the best teacher is that of heartbreak. You don’t ever fully know what you have until you lose it and therefore can’t understand love until you have lost it.
Heartbreak is life’s most effective teacher. Unfortunately, what it teaches us isn’t always accurate. We learn what we choose to interpret!
To know love, you must know heartbreak. As much as I wish people never had to feel heartbreak, where there’s love it is bound to be there. You took the risk once, well aware that this could happen. Looking back, it is still the best thing that ever happened to you, despite the pain.
Love and heartbreak are on two ends of the same spectrum; to know one, you must know the other. Know that if you are feeling sad and in the dark, things can only get better and brighter.
There are lessons that we should all take from falling into and out of love — lessons that are universal. If you learn these things from the ending of a loving relationship, then you should consider yourself to have made progress in your life.
I hate seeing people get hurt in relationships as it is a sad scenario. At the same time, no one has the power to make the pain go away. But, truth be told, one day you will see clearly, the pain will stop and life will be better.
To fully know love and appreciate love, you must first know heartbreak. When people get hurt, they decide they never want to feel that low again; they close themselves off to love. It’s true that you become a totally different person after your first love (specifically, first heartbreaks). It plays a big role in people’s lives as it changes them.
Before you experience one, I can safely say you will be still a virgin and soft, but until you go through it, you begin to appreciate life in a different way and become hard-hearted!
When you get hurt, you learn to appreciate the future more. After experiencing the pain, it will be an issue of lessons learnt, whatever reasons that could have caused your last breakup, you have to be more alert and never let history repeat itself.
After heartbreak you become a better person as you quickly notice warning signs that you were once blind to. If a similar behaviour from your previous love arises early on with your new love — you notice it, and you won’t ignore it. Every heartbreak has a different story and a different journey so no one wants the same predicament to repeat itself again.
It is an undisputed fact that most people take a little longer to fall in love again after heartbreak. Though some people believe in love at first sight, they could have fallen in love at first sight before; it may be at second sight this time around. You become more cautious about opening your heart, a wounded heart will take a little more coaxing to drop every one of those walls down again. It could make you come off as cold or tough in the beginning, but this just makes you strong and smart. Your heart is a beloved piece of you; there’s no reason to give it away at the drop of a dime.
You can also become cynical about certain things thinking that because your last love ended, this one will too. I won’t sit here and preach that this one will be different, because it may not be: you could end up broken hearted again. And if you do, you will learn something new from your new heartbreak.
Anyone who withstands heartbreak and comes back from it is a survivor. You will be stronger, you will be braver, and you will be more sensitive. All of these things will make you grow and evolve for your next love. Your heart will mould into a new shape and size as you will learn that people are different and no two loves are the same . . . ! And that’s what makes falling in love so special. It can’t be replicated.
Anyone who has felt the aches and the sleepless nights from heartbreak also knows the other side of the puzzle piece. Anyone who has the ability to feel pain that deeply, also has the ability to love that deeply.
And if you have the ability to love that much, you won’t let that go to waste. You will let someone in; you will open your heart. And when you do love again, it will be big. With all this, bear in mind that heartbreak is an achievement; you are a winner, not a loser!
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