The Sunday News
Tendai Rupapa in Binga
FACED by worsening juvenile delinquency, teen pregnancies, alcohol and drug abuse among youths, the Tonga community appealed for invention to ensure children grow into morally upright and responsible citizens.
They knocked on First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa’s door whom they invited to help correct the wayward behaviour of both boys and girls while also she learns how in their Tonga culture they held their Gota/Nhanga/Ixhiba programme.
Children in Binga, just like anywhere else in the country, were said to be losing direction due to the collapse of the extended family unit and modernisation. Mrs Georgina Ngwenya said they invited the mother of the nation to bring her Gota/Nhanga/Ixhiba programme here for the benefit of the community.
“We invited the First Lady to come here and assist us concerning the issue of children. Alone we cannot win, but if Amai assists us we can be victorious. These children are now naughty and have become law unto themselves. They now even want to rule their parents without paying regard to the fact that they are older and deserving of respect,” she said.
Mrs Ngwenya said imparting wisdom in children and disciplining them was an age-old phenomenon which even had roots in the Bible.
“The book of Proverbs says ‘. . . but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.’ Even in Deuteronomy, sex before marriage is prohibited. When we were girls we were warned against sleeping with men before the time is ripe. We would be examined to check if we were virgins. Nowadays these children will tell you off as old-fashioned. They are rushing to having sexual activities before time is right thereby falling pregnant whilst still in school. We do not know what to do and the direction to take as these children have become haywire and the whole country is crying. This is why we invited the First Lady to come and rescue us as we have faith that the children will listen to her,” she said.
In her teachings, which were held in strict observance of Covid-19 protocols of masking up, washing hands and keeping social distance, the First Lady said it was critical for children to respect their parents.
“Girls, your bodies are not a playground. Treasure your body because it is important to us as your mothers. If you do mischief, you shame our image as mothers. Teaching you as we are doing today is not a licence to rush into marriage.
We are just preparing you for the future. We see that some of your age mates have left school after falling pregnant but looking at your ages you are not ready for this. Sexual intercourse brings diseases, trials and tribulations. My children, you are our future leaders and we want you to value your education and if you combine that with good morals, your future will be brighter. If you ditch school and start following men you will be described by the community as a lady of loose morals. Don’t you appreciate that you would have embarrassed your mothers?
Grandmothers, let us mould the girls into respectable people with good morals,” she said as she asked the elderly women to take the lead in teaching the girls.
An elderly woman weighed in saying in the past, neighbours or community helped cultivate morals in children though this was no longer the case.
“In the past, neighbours would counsel children whenever they saw them misbehaving but nowadays things have changed. These children will tell you that you are not their mother while their parents too can even scold you for reprimanding their children. Some mothers no longer want their children to visit grandmothers in rural areas because of witchcraft accusations. As grandmothers we say let our grandchildren come to us so that we teach them our culture. It’s for their benefit and that of us as parents,” she said.
Reinforcing the issue of morals, Gogo Jane Mutale (80), said playing with men was a big “no” during her time.
“While growing up we never used to play with men. We would be told that if we did so we would be examined using eggs and no one wanted to go through that embarrassment. Whenever a boy wanted to talk to us we would run away because we saw them as lions. We would also be beaten for hanging out with boys. But nowadays, girls of school going age are the ones proposing love to men. You would only walk with a man after family introductions. But even after introductions you would not sleep together until marriage. No girl would go to her man’s house without being counselled by her aunt. These days they are just eloping and that marriage will not last.”
During the lively interactive session, one of the girls Succeed Mnguni sought to know why Tonga women grew up without front teeth. In response, she was told that it was part of culture hidden under the guise that it was done to prevent the women from damaging tea cups with their teeth.
“In actual fact it was a way to beautify women and men would never marry women with teeth. But that culture has since been abolished,” an elderly woman said.
Commenting about rising immorality, the children said their parents no longer had time with them to teach them the dos and don’ts in life. Said Blessing Ndebele; “Our mothers these days no longer have time with us. They spend the day at work and at night they will be busy on WhatsApp. They do not want us to visit rural homes to our grandmothers saying we would be bewitched. Now who teaches us culture?”
Another girl — Cynthia Maphosa blamed the surge in mischief in today’s youths on the abolition of corporal punishment.
“We heard the elderly saying they would be beaten whenever they misbehaved, but looking at the mischief being done these days by my age mates, I think it’s because they are not being beaten. Beating children is unlawful, but what should the parents do?” she said.
In response the First Lady said the rod was not the only corrective measure and implored children to be the custodians of their own lives through good manners and responsible behaviour. Gogo Rosemary Cumanzala thanked the First Lady for the programme saying it had also opened their eyes as parents.
“You have done well to bring this programme here Amai. We were saying children had become mischievous without looking at ourselves as parents. Indeed we are partly to blame, we have no time to counsel our children as parents and grandmothers. We should correct this and change our ways,” she said to applause.
For practical lessons, girls were taught to prepare traditional food the Tonga way and these were served with millet sadza.
They prepared dried fish which they call Inswi njumo. This fish is mixed with pumpkin and dried rosella leaves and brought to a boil. One neither adds tomatoes nor onions. Preparing fresh fish, pumpkin leaves are lined underneath, the fish on top, dried rosella leaves, tomatoes, cooking oil and water then you boil.
Moringa, which is one of the popular dishes was prepared. They boiled moringa leaves together with sliced pawpaw and crushed baobab seeds. They also prepared usika porridge using ash from mupani tree which is mixed with water, settled and added to the usika fruit.
First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa and elderly Tonga women interact with girls on the importance of valuing their tradition and culture as well as preserving their dignity during nhanga/gota/ixhiba session
In gota, boys too had their practical lessons which included setting traps for birds called kakole and kuzemba which is an art for self defence. After the boys and girls held their gota and nhanga sessions separately, the children later came together for a session where the First Lady encouraged them to be self-disciplined.
Amai Mnangagwa said she had discovered that some of the mischief was fuelled by the absence of counselling sessions between parents and their children. She promised to return with her Nharirire yemusha naAmai programme targeting parents.
The children were made ambassadors of the programme and the First Lady said she would send their certificates of attendance.
It also emerged during the interactive sessions that some children were being abused in homes by relatives and the matters were swept under the carpet or just discussed at family level where they are told to keep quiet. There was also an issue of forced child marriages raised by the girls and the First Lady urged the children to make use of her National Gender Based Violence Call Centre- 575 and report such cases so that they get help.
So full of praises for the programme were so many people that they felt it was necessary to continuously engage children so that they develop good morals. Mr Peter Muleya who was part of the team which was teaching the boys said the programme was a game-changer.
“We sat down with these children discussing with them to show them the proper way of doing things. We told them against taking drugs and alcohol when they should be in school. We spoke to them about dressing. Some of them put on five trousers and this is embarrassing. We went ahead and discussed about marriage because nowadays these children are just taking each other without consultations,” he said.
Mr Duncan Sinampande said he had faith the programme would help end sexual immorality and indiscipline.
“The children of today are practicing sexual immorality. They are impregnating each other at tender ages. In the past when we wanted to marry, we would go to our uncles and tell them. At times the uncle would find a suitable girl and send someone to lure her. We would discuss with the family and be given the lobola list which we would pay. We would never meet a girl in the bush and discuss in the absence of our parents. We would do respectable things that were honoured by our parents not what we are seeing these days,” he said.
He said they were getting lost as youths because of peer pressure. Matabeleland North Minister of State for Provincial Affairs and Devolution Cde Richard Moyo said the First Lady’s programme was helping youths to remain rooted in their cultures.
“I believe that if our children are to be proud of their culture and practice Ubuntu, they will desist from indulging in most of the illicit social vices that we are now witnessing in our country,” he said.
