The Sunday News
Clifford Kalibo
SHAKESPEARE once wrote in one of his plays that, “Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them”. Greatness is such a variegated multi-faceted phenomenon such that “greatness” alone remains a single aspect in the in the repertoire of greatness.
You just have to move around Ekasi to come across characters who possess various forms of greatness. One such township which has “imikhando” who possess greatness is Sizinda Township and neighbouring Westgate. Here one comes across great liars, great rumour- mongers, great gossipers and great imbibers/guzzlers. You also find highly-skilled “beer beggars” known in local jargon as “izimankani” or “iziporori”. These guys have a greatness in sweet talking you into buying them beer and cigarettes. No matter how unwilling you are to part with even your last dollar, when confronted by a “simankani” you inevitably end up buying for him.
It’s a warm August afternoon and I decide to go into Sizinda South Beer Garden (ePumula) “ebhawa” or “ebhizo” to have a small mug of opaque Ingwebu beer (amasese). No sooner have I entered the beer garden and before proceeding to make my purchase than I am immediately accosted and hounded by izimankani. “Zithini membraz”.
“Zithini Uncle Cliff”. “Bra Cliff eyakini ismangele (smart) so thuma mina ngiyokujumela igabiso uzazingcolisa ngamasese.” So tactful is their approach that you end up sending them to buy you a small mug of beer. As the simankani proceeds to the selling point, his colleagues will quickly pull a bench for you to sit. They will also sit with you. At times they will select for you a place with a nice shade (umthunzi). These guys are so glib and tactful; and as you share the opaque beer with them they will shower praises on you. The next thing you find yourself buying another four-litre mug of beer.
While all this is happening the other zimankanis are watching from a distance and one by one they come to join you.
In no time you have five benches full of drinkers and before you realise it you would have bought maybe five mugs (amazangata). These guys are so skilled in their trade that they can sort of sense that your wallet has sunk. One by one they disappear to find yet another target and you find yourself seated alone! Come end of day these guys are very drunk more than the people who have been hosting them. Such is the greatness of izimankani.
This is a common scenario in all townships, but the writer is confining himself to Sizinda Township because that is where he was born and grew up and is therefore, more familiar to the happenings there.
Still in the Pumula Beer Garden in Sizinda, my friend and I Fight Phiri prefer sitting in the special enclosure “espeshalini” where we buy ourselves cold quarts of Zambezi beer and Castle Lager respectively. It is within this area that we always have the pleasure of observing the imbibers who have achieved greatness by being heavy amasese drinkers. We have characters such as Carrington Mabeta, Denny Mathe, Benson and Innocent Dube (Ngunjuza). The guys are known for taking huge gulps (ukudonsa) of masese.
When sharing four litres of opaque beer, believe me, the beer is finished within 20 minutes!!! What an amazing drinking skill these young men have. One common feature about these four guzzlers, Carrington, Denny, Benson and Innocent Ngunjuza is that they are all slim and slender and one wonders where all that masese is stored in their tiny bodies! According to my estimate on a good day the guys can drink as much as 40 litres of amasese among themselves.
As if this is not enough the guys have achieved greatness through their sadza eating. In between drinking amasese these guys will go to the kitchens to order each a huge plateful of sadza and ox head meat (inkamanzi). So great is their love for sadza that they have named it “ipwanya”. Ipwanya has now become a popular household name in Sizinda.
Till we meet again next Sunday for yet a more exciting episode of “Day by Day Ekasi”. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Feedback 0783856228/0719856228/Email: [email protected]
