The Sunday News
Nhlalwenhle Ncube
FAR from fearing one will never receive a marriage proposal, it seems there are some people who do not want such to happen in their lives though they get to be in relationships.
It is unfortunate that they are so selfish that they do not consider the other person’s feelings who will be looking forward to taking their relationship to the next level.
I am talking about the pain of being turned down after buying an expensive ring and going down on a bended knee!
Asking someone you love to marry you can be difficult. It often involves weeks or months of planning, though for some it’s as simple as feeling that the moment is right. Rejection is going to be emotionally hurtful even though the love that they felt is still there.
Of course I know that not every woman wants to be married but I believe that whenever you are in a relationship make your agenda clear and not mislead the other party.
Though we have been brought up in a society where they used to make it appear as if marriage is compulsory, now it’s no longer the case. It’s the 21st century where people make choices. Therefore now not all relationships require a marriage certificate, some are a “just” thing.
It is really sad and heartbreaking for a man’s proposal to be turned down. With the way most have been brought up, they always take it for granted that their partners will accept and be happy. Not these days.
You can be turned down with your expensive diamond ring. Not everyone in a relationship plans to get married. Some want it to stay that way, where there are no strings attached.
It is high time men get to understand and adjust to what is happening now. Avoid heartbreaks which end up resulting in you taking your revenge to the wrong people. I have met a number of men whose marriage proposals were turned down.
They always take it with a heavy heart and surely it’s understandably. My problem with them then comes when they give up on marriage issues and go about hurting other women.
Maybe as a reminder, they should know that people are different and have different plans in life. Before making a proposal, one should try and find out the other party’s plans. When it comes to relationships, everyone has different expectations as far as the future is concerned.
Some people choose to remain single, some get married and some are in a romantic relationship for a long time but have no intention of walking down the aisle. So it is always wise to find out what your partner is up to!
When your proposal is rejected, at times one even gets shocking revelations which would be like rubbing salt in the wound.
Some women get the opportunity to make confessions of infidelity and even make it clear that they are not in it for marriage but want to maintain things the way they are. So it is very important to discuss marriage issues before rushing to make a proposal.
Marriage proposal disappointments do not only affect men, but women as well. Of course women’s marriage proposals do not come accompanied by a ring.
Most times when a woman has made her final decision of , “this is the one”, she starts planning for the future and making suggestions for the couple to organise a day to meet the elders, only to get the disappointment of being told that she is rushing things and some men without being polite, make it clear that they will never marry them.
To avoid heartache, never take marriage issues for granted, but talk about them. Not everyone wants to be married. Having the freedom to choose your own path saves great heartache down the road.
At times some people just get to accept the proposals fearing to disappoint the other party, but usually these are the short-lived marriages. It is better for your proposal to be rejected than for someone to pretend when in actual fact they are not interested.
They will frustrate you with their behaviour of not putting any effort to save the marriage as at the back of their minds they will be having a negative attitude.
Always know that each person enters into a relationship with their own goals for the future. One person may have begun the relationship simply for companionship, while the other formed it to commit and build a future and family together.
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