Quality Time

“I MISS spending quality time with you.” Are these words familiar? Maybe your spouse says them to you. Perhaps you spray-painted those words on your shower curtain in desperation. Or maybe you both gave up on the whole idea a long time ago, when babies came along, work got stressful, and you became too exhausted to nurture your relationship, much less talk about hopes and dreams.
Spending quality time is only one way people show love for each other, but it is a pretty big one in marriage. Some people crave more quality time than others, so people have to understand each other so as to avoid rubbing each other the wrong way. This week I will talk about love and quality time.

How much time do you spend with your partner during the week? How much time is enough to keep you connected? In this busy, chaotic world of daily activities, tasks and schedules, it is easy to forget that the person you chose to spend your life with is the person who can make your days brighter and the road ahead easier to travel.

With most couples, the key to improving your relationship is to make it a priority to spend more time together. Men and women see time differently in relationships, for many men, just spending time together is “enough.” But it is hardly so for women. Women are typically looking for the magical moments during the time spent together to feel heard, loved and sexy. This basic difference means that relationships can struggle when it comes to how time is spent together and its value to the overall relationship. Men are looking for the fun, the laughter, the humour, the sex whereas women are looking for all these things, plus connection.

A strong, healthy relationship can be one of the best support in your life. Good relationships improve all aspects of your life, strengthening your health, your mind, and your connections with others.

However, if the relationship isn’t working, it can also be a tremendous drain. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you can get back. These tips can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or repair trust and love in a relationship on the rocks.

Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. But there are some things that good relationships have in common. Knowing the basic principles of healthy relationships helps keep them meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in both happy and sad times.

Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television. I mean sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, and giving each other your undivided attention.

Quality time is focusing on each other. It involves making eye contact frequently, and talking. Your conversation should involve your feelings, goals, hopes, dreams, and plans for the future, or any simple comments that reveal your personalities.

Quality time should not merely be discussing the details of paying bills, the kids’ schedules, and other daily things. Those conversations are necessary, but if you and your spouse talk about nothing else, your relationship will inevitably drift apart and collapse. Sitting on the couch to watch television together does not count as spending time.

The idea for having quality time is to connect, to experience things together, and to talk about them. The quantity of time spent together is almost as important as the quality of time. If you spend most of your time apart, do not expect to be able to catch up with each other in five minutes.

Many spouses need time to process information, and others do not care for continual talking. Comfortable silences and pauses for contemplation have their place in the quality time you spend together.

Even your children too need some loving and quality time so for example if you are driving the kids to school, turn of the music, iPads, ipods, laptops and Smartphones.

Have a conversation, ask each other questions, tell silly jokes and have time to bond, try and make it a ritual. Years later you will all come to treasure these little, yet meaningful moments. Get creative! You can even fit in quality time without actually being present.
Leave a note in your child’s lunchbox, books or toys, put a note on your spouse’s pillow.

Send an “I love you” text to your family members every morning at the same time.
While you may not be physically spending quality time together you are still creating quality moments that mean a lot, it does not only happen on television but you too can try it at home, it works!

I gave this tip to a friend a couple of weeks back and she is glowing these days, it worked for her, I got myself a new pair of heels as a thank you so go right ahead and try it.

Spending quality time with loved ones is important. Life passes by too quickly to ignore opportunities to connect with those we love. Whether its a few minutes or many days, spend some quality time together!

Till next week. Let’s keep talking email [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>.