The Sunday News
Human beings are exceptional animals whose difference from other animals is that they have a highly developed brain that enables them to reason and solve problems. The exceptional qualities of humans enable them to have control over their lives, which means having the responsibility for everything that happens in one’s life.
There is only one person who is responsible for the quality of the life you live, that person is you Jack Canfield, author of The Success Principles.
We have all heard the saying, “Life is what you make it,” at different points in our lives. I’ve heard that a lot of times growing up but I had a hard time interpreting that as I always thought that life happens to us. After going through some of life’s challenges and at a mature age I looked back at my life and realised that life is really what we make it.
Yes, natural occurrences occur, sometimes bringing about the worst possible outcomes we never anticipated, but we still have a choice how we react to those processes. Ultimately we control our lives.
The blame game
It is not uncommon for humans to play the blame game, our parents bear most of the blame for “bringing us up this way or that way”, spouses for what they did or did not do, bosses and colleagues are not spared either, the weather, the economy or traffic. The list is endless but it often does not include the person doing the blaming. And yet, in all honesty, the fault usually lies within the person doing the blaming.
Wayne Dyer, co-author of How to get what you really, really really really want in his book wrote, “You have to give up blaming. All blame is a waste of time, no matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you”. This simply means the first person you should examine is yourself.
Complaining
Complaining is an ineffective response to things you can do something about. When you complain you are focusing on that which is wrong instead of finding a way forward. The fact that people complain means they know that there is something better that they want in place of what is there or what is happening, therefore, wouldn’t it be better to channel that energy to mapping how one can accomplish that reality instead?
What’s interesting about complainers is that they have a tough life. This is because they look at everything from a negative viewpoint and even that which is easy seems hard to them. Rather than complain, do something to change it. If your complaint is about the weather, keep up to date with the weather and dress appropriately and plan your activities based on that. If it’s traffic, leave home a little early to avoid the rush hour.
Honestly no one wants to be around a person who complains all the time, whether it’s at work, home or with friends. Complainers have a way of bringing people down and no one wants to be subjected to that hence this may cause failure of relationships, friendships or even family bonds.
In place of that victim mentality ask yourself how you can change your situation and you will not fail to find a few alternatives from within you that will assist you to start your journey towards change.
Be intentional
You are directly affected by any action you take in your life hence the need to be intentional. You know your dreams and desires and the steps that you should take to get to the point you want to be. It would be wise to structure your life in a way that revolves around those if are to achieve your dreams.
Worrying about whether or not you will accomplish your dreams will only cause you to lose confidence and faith in what you want to do and start second-guessing yourself. Take it a step at a time and do research on what you will need to aid you in your journey.
Feedback
There is always feedback presented to us in different ways. It’s always wise to pay attention to that feedback and examine if it is good or bad. Some people call it a hunch or gut feeling. Sometimes this feedback may come through communication with other people that may give us clues on how to handle a situation.
It is up to you to decide how you want to live. If we could all give complaining or blaming others or things beyond our control we could lead more peaceful lives and achieve big things. In relationships it is vital to stop pointing out the fault of the other and start looking for the good in one another. After all, one would have chosen their partner so that responsibility to accept them as they are or let them go, lies with them.
