The Sunday News
Rev Paul Bayethe Damasane – Today is that day when we celebrate the father’s in our lives. Many of us have various images of the fathers who have impacted our lives. I will not forget the story of a boy who said as they passed by a beer garden (that’s what they were called those days although they were not gardens at all!) “Ah this place smells like my father!” Father how do you smell to your children? What memories and images do you conjure in them? Do you give them hope and direction? Father why do they call you father? Is it because you sired them or you have made them and grown them into the citizens they are today? The questions are endless but they are important and beg for answers.
The Apostle Paul writing to the Colossians in chapter three admonishes the family by saying, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged . . .” in this portion Apostle Paul is very clear on everyone in the household even including the slave. Of interest is the fact that he mentions the Father twice. To love the wife and to not provoke his children.
The father is a significant member of the family whose role is paramount in the development and welfare of the family.
But first let us look at the fatherhood of God. In the Lord’s Prayer, which we studied at length earlier this year, Jesus taught his disciples to call God Father: “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” He taught that God is not everyone’s Father. In John 8:42, 44 he said to those who refused to follow him, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I proceeded and came forth from God . . . You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires.” God is the Father only of those who are led by the Spirit of his Son. In Romans 8:9, 14–15 Apostle Paul says, “Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him . . . All who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear but received the spirit of “son-ship”. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God.”
So it is a bit harsh but it is true that not everyone can lay claim to the privilege of knowing God as Father. Only those who are born of God (John 1:13), who receive Christ (John 1:12), and who are led by the Spirit (Romans 8:14) have the right to receive the inheritance of the children — promises like Matthew 7:11, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” The privilege of prayer and the promise that God will work all things together for your good is part of the inheritance of son-ship. That is what it means to have God as your Father.
That is why it is good to begin with understanding the fatherhood of God. One is that I believe all human fatherhood should be patterned on the divine fatherhood. The overarching guide for every father should be to live in such a way that his children can see what God the Father is like. They ought to see in their human father a reflection — albeit inadequate — of the heavenly Father in his strength and tenderness, in his wrath and mercy, in his exaltation and condescension, in his surpassing wisdom and patient guidance. The task of every human father is to be for his children an image of the Father in heaven.
Further, whether you are a father or not and whether you had a Christian father or not. It should be clear that the sadness many may feel at never having had a father like the father we celebrate today, and the sadness others may feel at never having been a father like the father we will discuss — that sadness can be swallowed up and overcome with joy because God offers his fatherhood to anyone who will accept the gift of adoption by trusting Christ and yielding to be led by the Holy Spirit.
Back to what the Apostle Paul says to the Church in Colossae. Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” The Amplified version of the Bible reads interestingly, “Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit] The goal of a good father is to rear children who are not discouraged. Discouraged implies losing heart, being listless, spiritless, disinterested, moody, sullen, with a kind of blank resignation toward life. Do not be the kind of father who rears that kind of person. Instead develop a style of fatherhood that produces the opposite of discouragement.
There are three characteristics that are opposite to discouragement. The opposite of being discouraged is being hopeful. The opposite of being discouraged is being happy. The opposite of being discouraged is being confident and courageous.
So I would say that the negative form of verse 21 really implies a positive command as well. It says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” But it means do not only avoid one kind of fatherhood; it also means pursue another kind; namely, the kind of fatherhood which gives hope instead of discouragement; and gives happiness instead of discouragement; and gives confidence and courage. In other words raise great children who will always love themselves and be an example in society because of their father.
A good father desires to be like the heavenly Father. There is a peculiar role that the Scripture gives to husbands and fathers. Fathers bear a special responsibility for the moral life of the family. So I urge you to take that responsibility, fathers, and that you be the kind of man who gives hope and happiness and confidence to your children because you yourself have found your hope and your happiness and your confidence in God. Happy Fathers’ Day to you all! Shalom!
