The Sunday News
Hi Sis Noe
I AM in love with this great woman who has two daughters that I like a lot. The problem is that at times I don’t understand her and gets angry easily. At times we spend time together and she will be sweet and at times she will be sour. She calls me out of the blue to help her with her kids and I do most of the times but when I fail she gets angry. Recently, she told me to stay away from her because I was not there for her when she called me. I feel good with her and I think she is a special woman but I don’t understand her. Help me please; I don’t know what to do. — Worried.
Reply
You sound like nothing more than a soft wimp, and that’s why she is with you. She sounds immature, controlling and manipulative. Those sorts of people love partners that are a push-over because they can practice their control freak traits on them daily and successfully. It sounds like throughout your relationship with her you are either being told what to do; squabbling over little insignificant bull; or taking care of her daughters.
I am sure that’s not the complete picture and that you did have some good times with her as you briefly mentioned, but this negative stuff really overshadows the good from the sounds of things. This bull of her ignoring you, being moody and waiting until the last moment to call and ask you for a favour and then acting like a silly little girl when you tell her you have made other plans; all suck — and I wouldn’t put up with that crap for a second if I were you. She said stay away from her — I advise you to do so, this should be a blessing to you. What the hell is so special about her? I will tell you – ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
You didn’t back up that “she’s special” comment with a single shred of evidence, only complaints. There are probably millions of people on this planet who you could make you “feel good” — that does not make her unique. It’s like saying your car has tyres. The only reason why you are still with her is summed up in your last comment that you “don’t know what to do”. You need to build yourself confidence. You failure to leave her is not due to your love of her, it’s because you are concerned about your ability to meet someone new and you possibly may not want to be alone, from the sound of it. I bet if you move on, you will feel a euphoric feeling of relief — I would. So stand up for yourself and move on. Move man!
Hi Sis Noe
My boyfriend and I were virgins and we have had sex a few times but what bores me is that he ejaculates before me. — Help.
Reply
With a few romps under his belt, it’s probably still pretty hard for him to take control of his ejaculation time. You have to understand that men take a little time to be good at sex especially at the start of their sexual lives. Over time, however, the two of you will be able to control when it happens, but he needs more experience and time more than anything else. Eventually he will be able to time his ejaculation. He needs to pay attention to the feelings down there just before its “shoot the gun” time.
Then when he gets that feeling again, he knows he should slow things down with you until the feeling has subsided. Also, you can help. By now you probably have some idea of when he is going to explode. Try slowing things down a bit when you think he is on the verge of ejaculating until he gets the hang of it. By slowing down at the right times, you can actually cheat the whole early ejaculation problem. This will also give you more time to work on getting that mind blowing orgasm that has evaded you. For you to improve your orgasm time, play with yourself! No, I am not talking about a game of Solitaire; I am talking masturbation during sex or even when you are alone.
The reason for this is as you play more and more with yourself, you get to understand what turns you on and what makes you orgasm. With that knowledge you can guide him and ask him during sex to do certain things that get you closer to critical melt down. Eventually, the two of you will have a satisfying sex life. He will be able to control his orgasms because of experience and you will be able to work up an orgasm because you will know yourself better. Have fun!
Hi Sis Noe
My ex-girlfriend is clinging to me even though we broke up. She calls me and texts me all the time and pretends as if everything is well. She even threatens any woman she sees with me and tells them that I am her man. I don’t want to be with her. What can I do to make her realise that it is really over been us? — Help.
Reply
It pisses me off just hearing about it, she really needs to let go. And to threaten your potential girlfriends is insane. I can see why you dumped her sorry behind. It’s all in how you react to her continual barrage of appearances in your life. The most crucial thing is your language and how, what and when you say things to her. The next time she calls or talks to you in person, don’t tell her “I don’t want to talk to you right now!” that invites the possibility in her mind that you MAY want to talk to her in FUTURE. You need to create NO FUTURE, tell her “I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in having you in my life, there is no chance we will get back together, please leave me alone.” You are thinking, damn Sis Noe that’s cruel. Yes it is, but nice doesn’t work in these situations and no matter what you do you are going to hurt feelings. She will analyse anything you say for any possibilities of hope — if you don’t give her that hope in what you say, it may finally dawn on her that the show is over.
After that point, if she persists, completely ignore her. No small talk about how anymore. Any response you give her shows that you are still paying attention to her — you don’t want that. You want to come across as an emotionless prick that doesn’t give a hoot. I know it sounds heartless, but she needs to detach herself from you and move on. So it is time you be assertive and let her know all her attempts will fail p- talk to her one last time about this and after that completely ignore her. Its cold, but you are no longer together. No need for niceties if she is not getting the message.
SOULMATES
I am a lady of 50 years looking for an HIV-positive man, 52 and above. Should be a God-fearing man, loving, caring, own accommodation. Preferably someone driving.
Ngingumama ole 31 years ngidinga obaba ozimiseleyo ofuna ukwakha oleminyaka engu 35 kusiyaphezulu, ngilabantwana ababili
I am a mother of two aged 36. May you kindly do me a favour and match me with a divorced or widowed man between 40 to 48 years old.
Am a 35 years old single lady looking for a mature guy to settle down with preferably in Bulawayo please app me those who are serious.
I am a woman aged 28 years old with three kids, looking for a guy aged 35 to 50 years of age who is read to settle down. Please no married person.
Hi, my name is Ayanda I’m 25 years old, I’m a single mum. I’m looking for a man for marriage.
Ngidinga umama ole 26-34 years HIV-positive aseduze le Bulawayo olengane kumbe engela mina ngile 36 years ngiyazisebenza.
Hi Sis Noe. I want a lady who is 26 to 37 who speaks Shona. I am a 38-year-old single man in Harare.
I am a 35-year-old man in Bulawayo, I am looking for a woman aged 35 to 40 to date.
NOTE
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