The Sunday News
FOR weeks I have been avoiding a certain e-mail because I had issues I had lined up for discussion in our column.
However, I think it’s time to attend to this urgent matter. Last week people were talking about personal hygiene and how it kills marriages and I thought it is important to touch on this issue. I have been receiving a persistent e-mail from one reader:
“Dear Aunty, I am 24 years old, I met this guy through his family, he was based in South Africa where he works. He then came down to Zimbabwe, I finally met him in person and formalities were done and we got married and moved in with him. Now I have a big problem he blows his nose with a towel, eats with his mouth wide open making funny sounds, he does not want to shave pubic hair, he does not use deodorant and always smells bad and this is driving me insane, please help. I sometimes feel like leaving him is the best because I can’t keep up with this.”
In light of this e-mail I decided that this week we talk about etiquette issues and how they are important in marriages. Respecting those around you shows respect for yourself and everyone will have great time in your company be it your kids, friends, relatives or partner. Good manners are the barometer of self-respect. When using good manners, everyone can be comfortable and no one needs to be embarrassed.
Some little things to remember in public
I will talk about the food issue, I love sea food at any time of the day but please No “SEE-FOOD!” for me because I cannot handle the sight of food in someone’s mouth I have no words to describe it.
Please at all costs avoid talking while chewing, so no one “sees your food!” Try not to ask questions or talk while your mouth is full, just close your mouth when eating. Open-mouth chewing makes us feel insane, be it gum, cereal, bananas (okay, I have to stop because I am grossing ourselves out).
I just do not understand if food changes taste when one eats with their mouth open or people cannot just close their mouths while eating. I am glad you are enjoying it, but we would all prefer to neither hear it, nor see it. Well I certainly cannot speak for everyone, but I am pretty sure your parents told you at least once to please chew with your mouth closed, and I would prefer not have to pick up the responsibility where they left off.
This can certainly be a cultural wonder, maybe it was not important where you grew up and I can absolutely sympathise with that, but the smack, smack, smack of your public munching is kind of killing us. It turns out a lot of people still do the smack when they eat as a lot of people complained about partners that lack etiquette and hence are never taken out to eat in public for fear of embarrassment.
One e-mail says those are the very same people that complain and say my partner does not take me out to eat. I am not a perfectionist on etiquette around here, but I am committed to the enjoyment of our marriage experience and I want people to enjoy their marriages to make them last. So for the next few columns I will dwell on etiquette issues. I am certain that I am not alone in saying that sitting across from someone who habitually chews with their mouth open can totally ruin a meal for you.
Just like being rude to a server, be it a waitress or maid at home, or talking on your cellphone, or many other habits we all recognise are probably not very nice and are not for the table.
In one of the discussions I had, someone said it’s even been suggested that chewing with your mouth open can make you appear more powerful and so they had adopted the “See Food” skill. They said the logic behind this theory is that powerful people often behave as if the rules do not apply or exist to them.
I could not help but laugh, I do not get how power and open mouth eating can be used in one sentence so I will maintain that people should close their mouth when eating.
Next week we will talk about shaving armpits.
Let’s keep talking, e-mail [email protected]
