The Sunday News
Aunty Charity
IT is almost that time of the year when marriages sometimes get rocky because there is no money for Christmas, yet people knew from the very beginning of the year that Christmas day would eventually come and people would have to spend on Christmas.
There is no right way for married couples to manage their money, but there are plenty of ways to avoid a nagging spouse by planning wisely. Growing up, I had a much organised mother who bought us Christmas outfits and planned for the get-away holiday right from the very 1st of January. I never understood why she did that, but now that I am all grown up, I understand the importance of planning.
Some people think Christmas vacations are only for the rich and famous, but I always tell people that they are for anyone and everyone. All it takes is careful planning and you can give your family that long overdue holiday experience. In these tough economic times, many of us are worried about how we are going to make ends meet over the Christmas period.
Christmas and New Year is a great time of the year, but Christmas can be a litmus test of a marriage’s health. Good marriages flourish during the holidays, but Christmas is the straw that breaks the back of many bad marriages, but only because someone has not done something right. As I always say money issues are a deal breaker in marriages and people should always plan ahead to avoid having problems.
The strength of a marriage is tested when decisions must be made. If a husband and wife have learned to discuss each issue with respect for each other’s perspectives — avoiding anger, disrespect or demands, Christmas decisions draw them together and increase their love for each other. That is because their decisions take the feelings of both of them into account. They create a Christmas that is enjoyable for the entire family.
In bad marriages, conflicts are not resolved with mutual consideration. Instead, husbands and wives try to flee from their responsibilities and will try by all means to blame it on the bad economy or the bonus payments that did not come through or the salary delays.
All I am saying is without planning for Christmas you will hear the most hilarious stories about why children will have to make do with the clothes they have and why that long time promised holiday cannot be done this year. People become touchy and irritable at the mere mention of the word Christmas.
All these moody and gloomy reactions when asked about Christmas plans only lead to a Christmas filled with resentment and unhappiness. So do not be caught in the grumpy club this festive.
Whether you are a couple or also have kids, have each member of your household choose one holiday activity to do in December that is important to them and then do it as a family. It is difficult to pay for Christmas out of December’s salary alone and that is a fact especially when bonus is not guaranteed, so it makes sense to save up as much as you can beforehand in the earlier months. The earlier you start saving, the less you need to put aside each month, even a small amount over a few months can make a big difference.
If you want to get on top of your finances, a budget is a really good way to start. It is easy to feel overwhelmed if you know you are struggling financially and you have not budgeted for Christmas spending and it is tempting to bury your head in the sand and ignore your family needs.
The strain that Christmas spending can put on many empty bank accounts can also transfer to extra strain on marriages.
Money issues are more than likely to cause arguments between partners, so it is not surprising that things can get tense in the lead up to the big day.
As we approach the festive season, TV adverts and newspaper inserts are encouraging us to get on the usual Christmas practice of “shopping till we drop” or as my friend would say shopping until your index fingers get tired of tapping in your pin code. Do not be left out and wait for last minute plans when buying becomes a chore, a thing to tick off a list, does that really help our pockets or our souls?
Spending your time making plans about buying gifts others appreciate is very easy to do only if you plan ahead. If you have not prioritised Christmas in your marriage and you still believe presents and all the Christmas celebrations are a Western ideology then start planning now and get your family a memorable festive season even in these harsh economic days.
If you have been planning ahead buying and keeping now is the time to round up plans and prepare yourself for a memorable Christmas with your family.
If you follow my advice, and start planning today, you will avoid disaster. Some will not follow my advice, and instead, will charge head-on into another Christmas filled with habits and activities that withdraw love units from an already bankrupt Love Bank. What if, in the end, you simply blow it? What if your spouse is bitterly disappointed for yet another Christmas, and is caught on the miserable side of festive?
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