The Sunday News
Pastor Nyasha Tabaiwa
Many of us are easy to heap the result of failure upon others. I have witnessed many giving reasons “if it wasn’t so and so who did this I would have made it”. Some utter “things have turned out this way because Jack and Jill mistreated me or didn’t play their part.” No one wants to be blamed when things go wrong. However, on the contrary everyone wants all the credit when things go well. This just shows how much people are good at pointing the finger and blaming each other.
Success is not given but success is made by oneself. When you carry a dream and you want to be successful play your part and play everyone’s part too. In each and every scenario and situation we ought to be driven by desire for success. What matters at the end of the game is what you did to become successful in your desires rather than what a third party did for you.
One of the things that I began to see in this nation was that most of us are full of complaints and resentment.
Whenever one faces a challenge in all facets they quickly blame it on the surrounding situations. As I was realising this I asked myself several questions “yes things are not well at the moment but does this justify my failures? How are some making it in the same situation and time? Are we waiting on the circumstances to change or our exploits are the ones that are going to change things?” I found the all the answers to these questions lying in the word determination.
There is no one who can stop a person who is determined to make it. We see in the Bible in Genesis 11 verses 5-6 “But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. 6 The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.”(NIV). The people were determined to build a tower that reaches to heaven and they were going to accomplish it because of being determined. We all have the ability to fulfil our goals despite the challenges. I have come to a sense of believing that whatever a person deems necessary it automatically becomes possible. The greatest enemy that one can ever face is oneself. The only thing that one needs to change is the way they think and they will excel.
Dangers of The Blame Game
You will always be disappointed – because people are people and will always behave in a human nature. One of the things that we ought to appreciate in life is the fact that the conviction you carry about your goals is not necessarily automatic with the third party involved in your life. Therefore if you seek to always blame others, you will always find a person to blame and will always be disappointed at people not turning up for you.
You develop a negative mindset – after continuously being disappointed. This is caused by the fact that if one is disappointed more often they end up thinking everyone is the same. It is not everyone who is going to disappoint you but several will. Put a provision of those that will disappoint rather than thinking that all people will disappoint. Instead of always blaming people focus on what you could have done better before you develop a wrong attitude towards those who were for you.
You lose focus – and focus on the negative. People who always blame others for their failures often usually shift their focus from what they are doing to what someone can do for them. Instead of focusing on the assignment and task at hand the blame game always shifts one to the wrongs and rights that have been done.
You miss opportunities – waiting on what someone can do for you rather than what is there for you. Many people have come to the point of relying on other people to the fact that they can’t do anything when not helped. After this their focus is on wrongs and disappointments. Have you ever come across people who are looking for a wrong or something to criticise in every scenario. Most of the times these people only see what wrong instead of some good things as well which is a result of the blame game.
How To Get Past The Blame Game
Be driven by yourself – and not focus much on people. Anything that irritates you about others can help you to understanding yourself. Instead of focusing on other people’s mistakes focus on yourself and channel your energy in working towards becoming a better person. Shift you attention to what you can do for yourself rather than what someone is going to do for you.
Don’t expect much from people– for they have their own agendas in life. Life is like a race and the beauty of the race is made by several athletes running on the same racecourse. The athletes are combined by one thing that is to win the race, however, this doesn’t mean that they are there to help another athlete to win. Each and every athlete makes the race beautiful by participating but they are doing it for their own cause. This is also likewise in life people are going to be involved in your life but this doesn’t mean they are there to help you. #expect nothing from people
Be prepared to work hard – for success is a resulted of compounded effort. Several times people think being successful solely comes because of good planning and clear goals. However there is more to success and one of the prerequisites is compounded effort. Compounded effort simply means effort upon effort which entails hard work. In order to make it your same level of determination needs to be matched by the same level of hard work. Hence be prepared to work extremely hard towards your goals.
Put trust in God – and let Him fix things that you can’t fix. I have come to realise that the person who can never disappoint in all times is God alone. There are times when you can come to situation that you can’t handle. It is wise to step aside and let the one who is able to do what He can do best. A wise person know the types of battle to pick and the one to drop and at times it pays to put trust in God when we are faced with things that we can’t handle, influence and control. Quit trying to change things that you can’t change. Worry less, trust more.
Play your part – in the team. I strongly support the concept of team play but for one to make it they need to play their part and quit focusing on the other person. If we all in a team would quit working hard and look at what the other is doing that would create disaster and confusion and there work will be laid back.
Life is like a journey in a hilly land which has twist, turns, steeps and valleys. There is always a time when one is going to be down. Failure is part of life and comes to give one vital life lessons. Don’t continually beat yourself up for the mistakes that you have made because God has already forgiven you. Pick yourself up and continue heading forward with your life at all costs. It all begins with a changed mindset and a decision. Develop a mindset that is determined to make it to success despite circumstances. Our communities depend on you and I. It takes a personal conviction to begin to excel, today choose to be determined to make it.
This is an excerpt from the book Determined To Make It written by Pastor Nyasha Tabaiwa. For more info visit Pastor Nyasha Tobaiwa on Facebook, Pastor NyashaTabaiwa on twitter. Email [email protected] or call/sms 0774771157.
